The New Year’s Eves

Jakarta, December 31, 2014

One year ago, something terrible happened to me. It was definitely the worst new year’s eve I’ve ever had. One devastating event that I may never forget for the rest of my life. It was so heartbreaking that I couldn’t stopped asking myself, “How could this happen to me? I’m only trying to do the right thing, but why did I get this in return?”

That night, I didn’t curse. That night, I hoped nothing but the best for me in the year to come. Deep in my heart, I only had one big wish for myself: I wish for a better life, I wish that I’ll be somewhere I’ll smile and laugh a lot more, I wish that I find a place where I belong.

One year later, here I am… writing this post, in a peace that I finally found. God granted my wish to move forward and leave all of that pain behind. I had my new life, a better one. It’s a better life which I believe that I deserve.

Today, if I look back, I finally understand why that terrible new year’s eve happened to me back then. It happened so that I moved on. It happened to bring me here, to the place that I belong.

In 2014, I met so many great friends along the year. Caring friends who texted me and told me to go to the hospital when I was sick. Lovely friends who gave me one of the sweetest birthday surprises I’ve ever had.  And genuine friends whom I never doubt their sincerity to me.

This year, for the first time ever, I work with colleagues with various nationalities. I’ve counted that I work with colleagues from 23 different countries! A few months back, a conference call always terrified me. But now? It’s a piece of cake! 😉 Some of them did come and go in no time, but it’s always a pleasure to have them along the way.

Again this year is also another year of achievement to me. An unexpected promotion was granted to me three months ago. I never thought that I would go this far by now. I’m so blessed and of course, so proud of myself 😀

Finally this year, I did learn to love again. After three years passed me by, I finally found someone new. It was not a happy ending, frankly it was only one sided feeling, but that’s okay! It made me learn how to be a big girl with a big heart. Whatever happened, I’m still glad that I met him. It was such a reminder how falling in love can be so beautiful to me 😉

And you know what… all of that beauty would never ever happen if that terrible night did not happen to me one year ago. It happened because it had to happen. It was not only a wake up call, but I have to admit, it was also a reminder to me to control myself. A part of it was indeed my own fault. It was harsh, but it was necessary to make me learn how to be a better one.

2014 is about to end. For sure that I can tell… I have a great, wonderful, and happy year. Forget about the hard times, the downfall, the heartbreak, it was still an awesome year to me. Yet of course I still hope, 2015 will be also an awesome one. I’m hoping to live more, love more, and I just can’t wait for the surprises in the year to come!

Happy new year for my blog reader. As written in my new year’s resolutions, I hope that in 2015, I can write for you much more often than before. I love writing and I simply want to do more things that I love in this new year. Thanks for reading, for the warm and supportive comments in my posts, and I hope, you guys will never get bored, hehehehe.

Have a great year, everyone!

2015 New Year’s Resolutions

Biasanya, new year’s resolution gue itu nggak jauh-jauh dari: naikin berat badan, nyelesain novel, dapetin beasiswa, dsb dsb. Sampe lama-lama, gue bosen sendiri. Kayaknya, semua hal yang gue sebutin tadi itu emang akan jadi my lifetime’s project. Gue akan selalu menginginkan semua itu, but it takes a long way to go!

Makanya untuk tahun ini, gue kepingin bikin resolusi yang agak berbeda. Cukup tiga saja, tapi gue harap, gue bisa mencapai ketiga-tiganya di tahun baru ini.

Here are my three new year’s resolutions for 2015:

  1. Be a little bit nicer. Gue emang nggak akan pernah bisa jadi orang selalu senyum-senyum ceria, it’s just not in my blood. Tapi seenggaknya, gue kepengen lebih bisa mengontrol emosi gue. Ada rekan kerja menyebalkan? Pemalas? Kekanakkan? Tukang bohong dan tukang bikin excuse? Stay calm! Angry all the time will never solve my problems. Makanya, gue kepingin lebih sabar, sedikit lebih nice, dan marah-marah seperlunya aja, hehehehe;
  2. I want to update my blog much more often. Biasanya, gue bikin new post di blog ini sesempatnya saja. Padahal ada banyak ide, tapi nulisnya nanti-nanti saja. Padahal kalau dipikir lagi, kenapa harus ditunda? Writing always makes me feel happy. Jadi kenapa gue harus menunda melakukan hal yang bisa bikin gue happy? Target gue, dalam satu minggu, setidaknya gue bisa nulis 3 judul baru. Dan tentunya gue berharap, semakin sering nulis, semakin terkenal pula blog gue ini, hehehehe; dan
  3. I want to fall in love again. Di tahun 2014 ini, gue kembali ngerasain indahnya jatuh cinta. Senyum-senyum sendirinya, berdebar-debarnya, dan heboh-hebohnya cerita ke teman-teman gue tentang dia… Kemudian saat akhirnya perasaan itu harus berakhir tanpa sempat dimulai, barulah gue menyadari… “I’m happy with my life, but I’m happier when I’m in love.” Jadi, karena pada prinsipnya ‘I will do whatever makes me happy’, maka ‘kembali jatuh cinta’ udah jadi salah satu resolusi tahun baru gue 😉 Doakan terkabul! Dan semoga kali ini bisa happy ending juga tentunya, hohohoho.

30 Things to Do Before 30 – 2014 Update!

Melanjutkan blog gue yang ini, berikut update gue untuk tahun 2014. Ternyata oh ternyata, cuma sedikit banget yang bisa terealisasi! Kemudian ada pula beberapa wish yang gue ganti dengan wish lain. Bukan karena gue pesimis nggak akan bisa terealisasi, gue cuma udah enggak lagi menginginkan hal-hal yang gue ganti itu aja. Berikut daftar lengkapnya!

Sudah terealisasi di tahun 2014

  1. Lihat bunga sakura bermekaran di Jepang. Bunga sakuranya udah nggak banyak mekar siih, secara baru bisa pergi bulan Mei. Malah honestly, gue cuma nemuin nggak sampe sepuluh pohon yang masih ada bunga sakurannnya 😦 Tapi lumayan lah, that Japan trip was still one of the best trips I’ve ever had! Dari semua negara yang pernah gue kunjungi, Japan is my most favorite! I’m dying to go back there someday;
  2. Duduk di business class saat bepergian dengan pesawat. Lalu gimana rasanya? Bener-bener bikin ketagihan! Bukan soal makanan atau pelayanannya, tapi kursinya! Lebih nyaman dan lebih enak buat tidur, hehehehe;
  3. Mulai merintis bisnis kecil-kecilan. Sebetulnya buat ukuran pemula, bisnis aksesoris gue berjalan cukup mulus. Hanya saja sayangnya, gue malah makin sibuk sama kerjaan di kantor. Jadi sudahlah, sementara ditutup dulu. Nanti dibuka lagi kalo udah ada orang yang bisa gue percaya buat bantu-bantu; dan
  4. Naikin GMAT score, kalo perlu ikutan kursus. Kursusnya sih, udah sempet ikutan, tapi cuma berjalan dua minggu aja, :p Skor lumayan lah naik dikit. At least, I already knew some of the tricks, hehehehe.

Masih belum terealisasi

  1. Pergi ke dokter ahli gizi supaya naik berat badan minimal 10 kg. Yang ini gue janji… akan gue realisasikan secepatnya 😀 Sepertinya sih, gue enggak perlu ke ahli gizi buat masalah berat badan. I already knew my body’s problem and I even knew what I should do. Cuma belum sempet direalisasikan aja, hehehehe;
  2. Mulai investasi reksadana atau logam mulia. Siigh… ini masih belum juga! Ini harus segera dimulai, secepatnya!
  3. Berani nyetir mobil sendiri. Tahun ini udah lumayan kemajuannya… udah berani nyetir sejauh 10 KM di tengah hujan lebat… tapi ya gitu lah, masih ada orang yang nemenin di sebelah gue. Jadi sepertinya, gue masih belum lulus buat urusan yang satu ini. I have a feeling that I will nail it in 2015 😉
  4. Nonton konser penyanyi luar negeri. Ini masih aja belum gue wujudkan karena masih belum ada penyanyi favorit gue yang ngadain konser di Indonesia;
  5. Tinggal di apartemen pribadi… Pembangunan apartemen gue ngaret lagi! Grrr…
  6. Liburan keliling Eropa… Rencananya, musim gugur 2015 gue mau ke Eropa, tapi cuma ke Yunani aja. Keliling Eropa-nya nanti aja ah, kalo udah ada pasangan. Kan supaya romantic getaway gitu lho, hehehehe;
  7. Punya 1 tas Louis Vuitton, beli langsung di Paris;
  8. Lihat salju. Ini agak dilema. Sebenernya gue paling anti liburan pas winter, takut nggak tahan sama dinginnya. Tapi gimana cara mau lihat salju kalo bukan pas winter?
  9. Terbitkan novel perdana. Aaaarrrrrghhh, sepanjang tahun ini gue enggak nerusin novel gue! Nooo!
  10. Membawa novel gue ke layar lebar… Dan gue mulai pesimis ini akan pernah jadi kenyataan, huhuhu 😦
  11. Membukukan tulisan-tulisan terbaik di blog gue. Ini sebabnya salah satu resolusi tahun 2015 gue adalah nulis blog lebih sering, hehehehe;
  12. Tampil di cover majalah atau tabloid Ibu Kota. Dan sekarang gue jadi geli sendiri kalo baca wish gue yang satu ini! Hehehehe;
  13. Coba apply beasiswa S2 ke luar negeri… sekali lagi. Doakan doakan!
  14. Mendapatkan pekerjaan di salah satu kantor impian;
  15. Umrah, trus lanjut ke Dubai nyobain naik unta, plus ke Mesir lihat pyramid. Rencana diundur ke tahun 2016, hehehehe;
  16. Menghampiri mantan gebetan dan bertanya, “What was that between us?”. Ironisnya, saat gue udah nggak lagi penasaran sama cowok yang dulu bikin gue nulis wish ini, eeh… gue malah namuin satu cowok lain yang bikin gue mempertanyakan hal yang sama! What a life!
  17. Meet my Mr. Right. Seems like 2015 will be my year for this, hahahaha; dan
  18. Merayakan ultah gue yang ke 30… ngundang teman-teman dekat dari jaman SD sampai kerja.

Diganti dengan new wishes

  1. “Pelihara kucing persia asli” gue ganti jadi “punya anak asuh”. Sebetulnya gue masih pengen punya kucing persia, tapi enggak dalam waktu dekat. Kenapa? Karena gue pengen kucing gue itu punya backyard cukup luas dan bukan hanya terkurung di apartemen sempit gue. Jadi gue beli kucing persianya nanti aja kalo gue udah punya landed house, dan kemungkinan besar, itu bukan dalam waktu dekat;
  2. “Ambil minimal satu gelar profesi” gue ganti jadi “mulai rutin olahraga”. Kenapa gue udah nggak kepengen lagi ambil gelar profesi? Gelar profesi yang gue maksud lebih relevan dengan karier sebagai accountant, dan sekarang gue udah yakin gue enggak mau selamanya kerja di bidang ini. It’s a good job which already provided me a good living, it’s just that it’s time for me to pursue my true passion; dan
  3. “Ngerasain berlibur naik kapal pesiar” gue ganti jadi “nonton The House of Dancing Water di Macau”. Waktu ke Macau dulu, gue batal nonton show ini dan jadi nyesel banget! I should go back there and watch this show anytime soon.

Never Ever Regret for Falling in Love ;)

Have you ever felt so unwanted just because of falling for someone who turned out didn’t feel the same way about you? Or feeling super stupid for falling in love with the one who belongs to someone else?

I’ve been there, but now I simply think that actually, I have no regret. I’m even grateful for ever felt such a genuine feeling to someone else.

Why should I regret if my feeling for him used to make me smile a lot back then?

Made my morning so beautiful just by waking up and knowing that I would see him soon.

Made me very much cherish every moment I shared with him. The laughter, the chats, even just a simple hello could bring me so much joy.

Not to mention the butterflies in my belly. The heart that skipped a beat. The warmth in my heart and the smile on my lips… I was the one who felt all of that beauty, NOT him. So what should I regret anyway?

Yes, at the end, it was not a happy ending. It broke my heart. The sorrow. The sleepless night. The thought of never seeing him no more…

But think again! Even a heart break has made me a better one!

I learned how to be strong. I learned from my mistake. I learned to let go and live with a big big heart. And I learned how to appreciate the ones who sincerely love me for who I am.

Again, it was me who learned all of those priceless life lessons, NOT him.

I read a few cool quotes about it a few weeks back. Everything in life is temporary. Love it when you have it! But if it’s not meant to be, then let it go. No need to regret, just let it go. Because when you sincerely let go, you actually give God some space to work.

Let go, have an awesome life, and happy holiday! 😉

Five ‘Selfish’ Things that Make You Happy

Belakangan ini gue semakin menyadari… ada beberapa hal terkesan egois, keras kepala, dan self-centered yang ternyata justru udah bikin hidup gue jadi lebih happy. Hati gue jadi lebih tenang, beban terasa berkurang, sehingga ujung-ujungnya itu tadi: hidup gue jadi terasa lebih bahagia. Apa saja persisnya? Berikut daftar lengkapnya!

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Put yourself first

Konsep put yourself first itu enggak selamanya jelek lho. Tapi bukan berarti kita jadi boleh merugikan orang lain hanya demi kepentingan diri kita sendiri! Lalu apa persisnya yang dimaksud dengan put yourself first? Agak sulit untuk dijelaskan dalam kata-kata, tapi berikut ini contoh nyata dalam hidup gue sendiri:

  • Waktu gue masih SMA dulu, nyokap pengen banget gue kerja jadi dokter. Nggak heran saat gue lebih memilih masuk IPS karena pengen ambil kuliah jurusan Ekonomi, nyokap ngambek berat. Gue pengen kerja kantoran, bukan kerja di rumah sakit. Buat banyak orang, keputusan gue itu terkesan seperti anak durhaka yang tidak mau menyenangkan orang tua sendiri, tapi gue enggak pernah sekalipun menyesali keputusan itu. I did very well in college and I believe that I have nailed my career as well. And I know for sure, my Mom is now very proud for the one that I’ve become 🙂
  • Hari terakhir jalan-jalan di Jepang bulan Mei tahun ini, gue dan teman-teman seperjalanan memutuskan untuk berpisah selama sehari penuh. Ada yang sibuk hunting foto, ada yang lebih memilih nonton pertunjukan budaya, dan ada gue yang tentu lebih memilih pergi ke Sanrio Puroland. I’m a Hello Kitty big fan! Orang lain bisa jadi berpikir tim gue ini aneh dan kurang solid. But hey, we are four different people with four different interests! I did put my wish first and I never regret my solo traveling to Sanrio Puroland that day. Not at all!
  • Beberapa bulan belakangan ini, gue bekerja 12-14 jam dalam sehari. Puncaknya hari Kamis kemarin, gue pulang kerja jam 3 pagi! Tiga jam kemudian, gue udah harus balik lagi ke kantor untuk acara outing. Akibatnya, meski belum sampai tengah malam, gue udah ngantuk berat! Saat gue coba bertahan demi nunggu 1 game terakhir, eeh, gue malah ketiduran di ruang tamu! Gue lalu pindah ke kamar dan tidur pulas sampai pagi… It might look selfish, but I know what my body needs, and that one long sleep has been one of the best sleeps to me for these past few months.

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Be stubborn a little bit

Gue tipe orang yang meyakini bahwa menjadi keras kepala itu tidak selamanya buruk. Segala sesuatu dalam hidup ini sudah PASTI punya kelebihan dan kekurangannya masing-masing. Sehingga kenyataannya, diperlukan mental baja hanya untuk bisa bertahan dalam keputusan yang sudah pernah kita buat sebelumnya. Selama kita sudah melakukan hal yang benar, melakukan hal yang terbaik yang bisa kita lakukan, maka kita harus bisa bersikap ‘keras kepala’ supaya kita bisa terus melaju sampai ke ‘finish line’.

Always do remember: keep changing our minds just because of that one bumpy road will always make us starting over again and again until finally, we get frustrated and unhappy with ourselves. Be stubborn enough to give our very best fight before we decide to give it up.

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Stop listening to everyone’s judgment

Mau di manapun dan sampai kapan pun, akan selalu ada orang-orang yang seenaknya memberi pendapat tentang diri kita ini. Ada yang terang-terangan ngomong di depan, ada pula yang cuma bisa bergosip atau menggerutu di belakang. Untuk yang cuma berani ngomong di belakang, sudah jelas tidak perlu didengarkan. Mereka tidak cukup berani untuk ngomong di depan karena mereka tahu, tuduhan mereka itu tidak sepenuhnya benar. Lalu bagaimana dengan feedback yang langsung diberikan kepada kita?

Ada kalanya, feedback itu baik untuk pengembangan diri kita, TAPI, jangan sampai kita kehilangan jati diri hanya karena menerima masukan dari orang lain. Ingat bahwa pada akhirnya, feedback itu tetap ada unsur subjektif. Semua orang, termasuk diri kita sendiri, pastilah mempunyai kecenderungan untuk menilai segala sesuatu berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi. Padahal, apa yang dianggap baik menurut pengalaman hidup orang lain, belum tentu sesuatu yang baik untuk hidup kita sendiri.

Trying hard to be the best version of ourselves is already more than enough. Jangan ‘menyiksa’ diri dengan malah jadi tertekan dengan penilaian orang lain. Ingat bahwa kita TIDAK AKAN pernah bisa menyenangkan SEMUA orang di sekitar kita! Ingat pula bahwa bagaimanapun, tetap kita yang paling mengenal diri kita sendiri. Hanya kita yang pernah berjalan ribuan kilometer dalam sepatu milik kita sendiri!

Once you know how to get it right, you’ll be the happiest person you’ll ever know. Trust me!

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Don’t be afraid of being alone

Gue bukan tipe orang yang takut pergi nonton sendirian. Ada kalanya, film yang gue suka justru dianggap aneh oleh teman-teman gue. Ada kalanya, gue malas pulang kantor karena masih macet sehingga lebih memilih nonton sendirian, secara sifatnya juga dadakan. Malah ada pula kalanya, gue emang lagi kepengen nonton sendirian aja.

Lebih jauh lagi, gue bukan tipe orang yang takut pergi jalan-jalan – bahkan sampai ke luar negeri – sendirian. Kalo emang waktu yang tepat buat gue bukan waktu yang tepat buat teman-teman gue, maka apa salahnya tetap pergi sendirian? There are many true travelers who believe that solo-traveling has made them a better person than before. Meskipun gue tetap lebih suka traveling in group, gue juga tetap menikmati, bahkan sangat menikmati, solo traveling gue itu.

Do not wait for everyone else just to get the things that you want to have. If you want it, then go for it! The more you go for your wishes, the more chances you have to get more fun in your life!

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Learn to let people go

Tidak semua orang akan tetap menemani kehidupan kita untuk selama-lamanya. Ada orang yang datang dan pergi, ada yang benar-benar hanya untuk satu masa tertentu dalam hidup kita, dan ada pula yang akan menemani selama-lamanya. Hanya saja sedihnya, orang yang akan stay forever tidak akan pernah sebanyak yang kita kira. Itulah sebabnya, kita harus belajar ikhlas melepaskan orang-orang yang sudah beranjak pergi dari hidup kita ini.

Berusaha bertahan demi orang yang tidak mau repot-repot meluangkan waktunya untuk kita hanya akan membuat kita merasa ‘terbuang’. Kita harus tahu kapan waktunya melepaskan dan merelakan mereka yang sudah beranjak dengan hidupnya sendiri. Nggak perlu bertanya-tanya, “Apa yang salah sama gue?”

Guys, It’s NOT about us, it’s them! Because if they are good enough for us, they will try their best to keep going with us instead of leaving us behind just like nothing ever happened before. Let go, move on, and believe me when I say that you will meet so many new awesome friends along the way. Have fun and share your happiness with the ones who willingly do the same for you.

Top Three Reasons Why Good Employees Leave the Company

In the past few months, I’ve been observing the reasons why good employees decide to leave their companies. How do I define a good employee? The smart one, a fast learner, the problem solver, the major contributor, the game maker, the agent of changes, and of course, an excellent leader to their team. They may have so many flaws, mostly personality issues, yet most of them tend to have all of the good qualities I mention before. The good qualities in one package that makes them extremely hard to find.

Different with employees on average, I rarely find a top achiever leaves the company just because of stress, crazy workloads, fed up of bosses’ high demands, or just because of those nearly impossible projects. They have much more complex reasons to leave the company. Based on my personal observation, I’ve narrowed down those reasons into three top categories.

Lack of challenges

Most of the time, the good employees have more capability to deal with stress rather than dealing with boredom. They can’t stand repeating the exactly same task over and over again. They also set a very high standard for themselves. It’s not easy to make them feel satisfied with their own achievement. They’re very competitive even when there is no competition at stake. They hate the idea of being left behind their own families and friends.

That’s why when they find themselves stuck, not well developed, nothing new to learn, or when they get bored until 8 hours at work feels like forever, they will start to wonder whether it’s already time for them to bring themselves to a higher level. Until finally, finding a better opportunity out there has become a new challenge for them. For some of them, it’s like proving themselves that they still have the capability to achieve something better for their futures after going nowhere in their previous job for a while.

Lack of appreciations

The good employees have much lower tolerances of being unappreciated. They don’t do much positive thinking about the reason why their bosses made them feel that way. They know their values and they will never let anyone make them feel anything less. I know many great workers who are able to deal with their crazy workloads, who can survive the crazy deadlines, who can forgive their annoying bosses, but once they find themselves are not appreciated, they will start to ask themselves, “What the hell am I doing here?”

How do they define the lack of appreciations?

  1. When they find out ‘the average guys’, ‘the do nothing guys’, or ‘the do not understand anything guys’ are paid higher than them;
  2. When they hear their own bosses keep telling everyone about how great those ‘mediocre ones’ are but those bosses ‘forget’ to mention the same thing about them who have worked much harder than those bosses’ baby;
  3. When their bosses do not say anything about the great jobs they’ve done, but those bosses are over-reacted once they do just one mistake, especially if it’s only a very small one;
  4. When they are not well rewarded, especially if they do know that the company has a capability to give them rewards that they deserve.

Overloaded BUT underpaid

Based on my observation, most of top achievers are burdened with more workloads rather than the mediocre ones. Everytime there is a very difficult task, the boss will give it to them. Everytime there is a colleague fail to finish another difficult task, the boss will give it to them again. They’re actually okay with that; they love challenges, remember? BUT, it’s a completely different story if their increasing burdens are not in line with their income.

It’s funny how bosses always have many random reasons to not reward their best players properly. At the end of the day, the good employees will end up with a thought, “This company wants me to work super hard for free.”

Most of the time, being underpaid is not only about money for this type of employee, but also highly related to their self-satisfaction or maybe, it’s also about their own ego. They can’t live with the fact that their company ‘use’ them, ‘fool’ them, or any other bad thoughts which make them feel bad about themselves. Once again, they know their value and they know it for sure when they deserve better.

My Birthday Picts

This year, once again, I have another unforgettable birthday. A fancy dinner in Four Seasons with my families on my birthday night, a small reunion with my high school best friends, a nice surprise from my team at work (I thought they would only give me a cake with candles on it, turned out they gave me a customized birthday cupcakes, birthday cards, and shopping vouchers! 😀 ), and a Friday dinner with my team to celebrate my birthday (again!).

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After so many long days in November, my birthday was such a refreshment to me. I still have a little kid inside of me who gets excited with a nicely wrapped gift, I’m touched knowing that I have many friends willing to come up with a plan to surprise me, and I’m glad that wherever I work, I work with the people who end up as my friends.

Now my birthday is over, I simply think, “I can’t wait for my next birthday! Hehehehe.”