I’ve learned that not all people who looks forgiving are actually holding no grudge. And not all people who speaks the ugly truth having the hard times to forgive the others’ flaws. Forgiveness is not how it seems, it’s how it really feels inside our heart.
Sometimes, forgiving is easy. Sometimes, it’s hard and it takes times. And sometimes, we’re not even sure if we can come back from the pain they put us through.
On the other hands, asking for forgiveness is easy. Sometimes, it’s terrifying. But then sometimes, we don’t even think we have something to apologize.
Forgiveness is getting more complicated as we grow older. We don’t always want to, but we have to. It’s not always asked for, but we still have to. And I believe, that’s Eid is all about: to forgive and to seek for forgiveness.
I know that it’s always easier being said than being done. Some pain is just too much to take. Not everything requires apology to make things right, but in the same time, not everything can be solved and fixed by an apology.
With that being said, somehow I found my way to forgive the people whom I never thought I’d ever forgive. They never ask for forgiveness, I never say they are forgiven either, and it’s not like I’m willing to live a life with them in it like it used to be. But still, I forgive them, in my own way.
I hope, they forgive themselves for everything they did. Or if they still believe they didn’t do anything wrong, I hope that someday they will wake up and learn from it. And on top of all that, I sincerey hope that God will forgive them for all the wrong said and done. I hope, God will help them to be a better person, and help them with a light at the end of the tunnels. Apart from all the nightmare they put me through, they used to be the people who meant a lot and whom I cherished the most.
Forgive people even when they don’t ask for forgiveness. Or even when they don’t deserve any of it. Forgive them not for them, forgive them for you, for your soul and your peace of mind.
Finally, if I ever hurt you with anything I said or did, please do forgive me with a chance to restart all over again. I’m no pure angel, but I’m no pure evil either.
Please forgive me for being a straight-talking.
Forgive me for fighting for what I believed was right until it hurt you along the process.
Forgive me when I’m not always capable of controlling my own anger.
And for the people I care about, please forgive me for the tough love and for not always being nice all the times. When it comes to you, I’m not being mean, I’m being myself who wants nothing but the best for you and your life. Maybe, I just don’t know how to do it right.
As usual for all my blog readers, please forgive me if I ever wrote something offended to you. Wish you all a blessed Eid and a new beginning for you and the loved ones. Happy Eid mubarak and happy holiday!