A journey to remember

Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Biasanya, gue akan segera menulis farewell note gue di blog ini segera setelah hari terakhir gue di perusahaan ybs. Kali ini lain ceritanya. Hari terakhir gue di Lazada sudah lewat 2 minggu yang lalu sebenarnya, tapi gue baru ingin menulis farewell note itu baru-baru ini saja. Kenapa demikian? Karena ternyata, ini perpisahan paling berat yang pernah gue rasakan!

Sebetulnya gue sudah mengajukan resign sejak pertengahan tahun lalu. Cukup waktu untuk handover, cari pengganti gue, dan yang enggak kalah penting, untuk menyiapkan perasaan gue sendiri. Saat gue resign, gue sedang merasa sangat nyaman dengan tim terakhir gue di Lazada. Bukan cuma cocok dalam hal pekerjaan, tapi juga dalam hal-hal di luar pekerjaan. Berkat mereka, hidup gue di kantor jadi terasa lebih menyenangkan. Gue jadi lebih banyak tertawa, dan gue juga jadi merasa punya tim yang bisa gue percaya. Banyak orang yang bersikap berbeda di depan dan di belakang gue, tapi tim gue itu, gue yakini bukan salah satunya. Dan percaya nggak percaya, tim seperti itu sekarang ini sangat sulit untuk didapatkan!

Minggu pertama setelah resign, sangat terasa ada yang hilang dari keseharian gue. Makan siang jadi terasa berbeda, makan Indomie juga jadi terasa berbeda (sudah bukan lagi makan Indomie malam-malam di pinggir jalan dekat kantor). Ingin cerita ini-itu tapi tidak ada teman di sebelah gue yang bisa langsung gue ajak bicara. Dan tentu saja, sudah tidak ada lagi teman-teman cowok yang celetukannya bisa bikin gue tertawa terbahak-bahak!

Di akhir minggu pertama, gue enggak bisa tidur. Gue kangen Lazada. Timnya, sudut-sudut kantornya, kegilaan pekerjaan gue sehari-harinya, gue bahkan juga kangen dengan kamar kost yang sudah gue tinggalkan segera setelah resign dari Lazada itu. Baru terasa, sangat-sangat terasa, semuanya enggak akan pernah lagi kembali sama.

Ternyata memang benar, kita tidak akan benar-benar tahu apa yang pernah kita miliki sampai kita benar-benar kehilangan. Awalnya gue pikir, gue hanya akan kehilangan tim terbaik yang pernah gue punya saja, tapi ternyata, gue juga kehilangan sebagian kecil dari diri gue sendiri.

Gue mulai kerja di Lazada saat bisnis marketplace-nya baru lahir hampir 4 tahun yang lalu. Banyak kenangan, pengalaman, dan pembelajaran yang tidak ternilai harganya. Di sana gue dipertemukan dengan teman-teman baru, di sana juga gue kehilangan beberapa teman lainnya, di sana gue pernah sampai jatuh cinta (ada sampai belasan cowok yang gue pernah naksir selama kerja di sana, hehehe), di sana gue pernah berprestasi, di sana juga gue pernah melakukan kesalahan dan mengalami kegagalan. Jika diingat lagi, sulit dipercaya semua itu pernah terjadi hanya dalam waktu kurang dari 4 tahun lamanya!

Di awal minggu ke dua, gue mulai mempertimbangkan untuk kembali kerja di perusahaan lainnya (awalnya, gue berniat fokus mengurus bisnis gue sendiri saja). Melihat betapa antusiasnya orang-orang di calon kantor baru gue itu pada akhirnya membuat gue mulai bilang sama diri gue sendiri, “It’s time to move on.”

Lazada, sampai kapanpun, akan selalu menjadi cerita favorit gue. Gue akan selalu bangga pernah menjadi bagian dari cerita sukses perusahaan ini. Kemudian soal tim gue, entah kenapa, gue mulai meyakini, “It was not a goodbye between us!”

I often feel blessed with my life, and Lazada has been one of the greatest blessings in my entire life. Thanks to you, Lazada! Thanks for the memories and all those crazy days! You will be missed.

xoxo,

Riffa.

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I can’t stay forever mad with the people I used to care about. It can take a year, or maybe, it can take a decade, but I will eventually forgive them for what went wrong back in the past. Be it in personal or work relationship, no matter how bad it was, somehow I always found my way to have them back in my life. It might not be as close as we once were, but at least, they are not my forever enemy.

Why would I want to do that? Because they used to mean a lot to me and whatever they did wrong could never change the good memories that we used to have.

For starter, at some point, I always manage to be friends with my ex crush. Yes, they broke my heart, but in most cases, I used to broke their hearts too. It’s actually my loss if I decided to get rid of the beautiful memories I used to share with them. I would never forget the way they made me smile, the butterflies in my belly, and all the little things they did to comfort me, and most importantly, to make me feel loved. Once I fall in love with somebody, they will be forever mean something to me. I may never feel the same way again, but they will never be a stranger and I will always have a tiny place for them inside my heart. Once in my lifetime, they were my fairy tale, and they will always be my favorite stories to tell to my grandkids.

I will also stop hating the bosses who made me want to leave the companies I used to work at (I’m not saying I hate all my former bosses though). Back to the times I worked with them, each and everyone of them had contribution to my career development. They challenged me, they gave me opportunities I was unsure if I was capable of, and of course, they rewarded me even more than I thought I deserved sometimes. I am not who I am without my former bosses, and I’m thankful for that.

And finally, sooner or later, I will forgive ex best friends who betrayed me. I used to hope I could grow old with them, as people always say; best friends forever. Seeing my hopes were torn apart couldn’t be more heartbreaking to me. I’m already used to have envy people trying to ruin my happiness, but I never expect to watch my best friends doing the same thing to me. But still, there were some reasons why I called them my best friends. They helped me in the lowest points of my life, they woke up in the middle of the nights just to hear about my bad days, they were once the people I chose to be my family.

I’ve come to learn that my Mr. Wrongs were actually learning to become a Mr. Right (even if it’s most likely for someone else but me). They had to make those mistakes so that they knew what they should do to become a better man.

My horrible bosses were not pure evils or whatsoever. The crazy pressures they had were just beyond their capacities as human back then. If they are good enough, someday they’ll come around and they’ll eventually learn how to become a better leader for their teams.

Finally my former best friends… from all people in this world, I know better how kind and how good they actually could become. Hard times in life changed them, yet whatever their pain and struggle was, I sincerely hope they will soon find a light at the end of the tunnel. And if they will ever find themselves guilty, more important than my forgiveness to them is actually their forgiveness to themselves. That way, they will learn how to stay kind even when this life gets rough.

Again, this total forgiveness may take ages for me to get there. It’s not the forgiveness itself that is hard to be done; it’s to forget the way they once made me feel. Not to mention how hard it is to heal a broken trust. It’s definitely not easy, but doable.

Everyone makes mistakes, and so do I. And at the same time, everyone needs time to heal, and so do I.

Did you know? Real love is tough. It’s not always pretty. It even looks ugly, sometimes. It doesn’t always please you, it doesn’t always make you feel completely happy, it’s a bumpy road, it’s definitely not as easy as a fairy tale.

Someone who loves you, cares about you, will tell you the truth. An ugly truth, perhaps. It’s not because they don’t love you anymore, it’s just because they want what’s best for you and your life. And when they truly care about you, they tell that truth right in front of you. They won’t backstab you, they will always be bold enough to be honest with you.

Someone who cares about you will not make everything always easy for you. They want you to earn it. They don’t want to spoil you the whole times because they don’t want you to be irresponsible with your own life. They want you to grow up as a person inside.

Someone who sincerely loves you will never give up on you. They will do everything in their power to keep you in their life, and it includes all the fights that have made you feel uncomfortable with the relationship itself. If they just let it fall apart, it simply means they just don’t want to waste their precious times on you.

This theory is one theory that I believe is always right. Be it romantic relationship, friendship, and families. If they care about you, they will take a risk to tell you the truth, and they will take an extra miles just to help you to become a better person than you were yesterday.

Again I tell you here, if your lover never pisses you off, most likely, you haven’t dated them long enough. If your friends only tell all the right things that make you happy, you guys aren’t close enough. And if your parents have stopped lecturing you, then most likely, they have finally given up on you.

Believe me, real love is tough. Nobody is perfect and neither are you, and the people who love you the most are the people who will tell you your imperfections a lot more often than everyone else. If you keep hating them for telling you the truth, you are preventing yourself from being loved. What’s even worse, you’re preventing yourself from being a lovable person who gets better from times to times.

Find someone who is bold enough, who cares enough, to tell you the truth and to fight for that truth, for you.

Mulai mengenal pertemanan sejak usia gue masih di bawah 5 tahun, sekarang gue sudah mulai bisa membedakan antara teman, teman baik, dan sahabat. Dan buat gue saat ini, sahabat itu adalah orang memenuhi semua definisi di bawah ini.

  1. Orang yang bisa gue ajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan bodoh seperti, “Kalo gue unfollow orang lain di IG atau FB, orangnya bisa tahu atau enggak ya?”
  2. Orang yang tidak pernah iseng bertanya, “Kapan married?” Mereka enggak pernah iseng bertanya karena mereka tahu gue juga enggak tahu apa jawabannya, hehehehehe;
  3. Orang yang bisa dengan entengnya untuk gue bilang begini, “Eh jangan lupa like foto gue yaa.”
  4. Orang yang membuat gue merasa tidak perlu mengarang alasan di saat sebetulnya gue hanya sedang tidak punya cukup uang untuk jalan-jalan, hehehehe;
  5. Orang yang gue ceritakan pengalaman gue yang paling memalukan sekalipun. Tipe orang yang biasanya akan menjadikan pengalaman lucu itu sebagai lelucon antar kita sampai bertahun-tahun kemudian 😀 Mereka juga orang yang bisa gue ajak diskusi tentang hal-hal yang sifatnya tabu dan/atau kontroversial;
  6. Orang yang pernah gue biarkan melihat gue tanpa make-up… dan biasanya mereka akan bilang begini, “Elo tetap cantik tanpa make-up“. Mungkin hanya supaya gue enggak minder, hehehehe;
  7. Orang yang bisa gue ceritakan ambisi dan cita-cita gue tanpa takut dianggap tukang mimpi, terlalu ambisius, dan embel-embel negatif lainnya;
  8. Orang yang selalu bisa menyisihkan waktunya buat ketemuan sama gue. Sesibuk apapun, mereka selalu punya waktu buat gue;
  9. Orang yang berusaha membalas pesan gue segera setelah mereka membacanya (entah kenapa, gue tidak pernah bisa berteman akrab dengan orang yang sering tidak balas texts orang lain);
  10. Orang yang tidak pernah merasa bosan dengan curhatan dan masalah gue yang itu-itu saja (termasuk curhat mendadak di tengah malam, hehe). Tipe orang yang tidak pernah putus memberikan support mereka di saat-saat terburuk sekalipun;
  11. Orang pertama yang gue hubungi saat baru balik jalan bareng gebetan, baru dapat promosi, dan hal-hal positif lainnya (meskipun terkadang, kabar gembira itu sifatnya norak dan tidak terlalu penting, hehehe);
  12. Orang yang bisa gue ceritakan ini-itu tanpa takut rahasia gue itu akan tersebar ke mana-mana;
  13. Orang yang bisa gue curahkan kesedihan gue, kadang bisa sampai meneteskan air mata, tanpa takut dianggap lemah atau cengeng;
  14. Orang yang bisa membuat gue merasa nyaman untuk menunjukan sisi rapuh, sisi insecure, atau kelemahan dan kekurangan dalam diri gue tanpa takut sisi lain gue itu itu mereka salahgunakan;
  15. Orang yang tetap percaya pada gue meskipun “seisi dunia” berkata atau bersikap sebaliknya;
  16. Orang yang berani mengambil sikap untuk memihak gue meski tanpa pernah gue minta sebelumnya;
  17. Orang yang bisa menerima gue dengan segala kekurangan gue dan selalu membuka pintu maafnya buat gue;
  18. Orang yang memberikan saran untuk kebaikan gue dan bukan untuk membuat gue berkecil hati;
  19. Orang yang ikut sedih saat gue sedih. Mereka ikut memikirkan jalan keluar dari masalah gue seolah masalah itu adalah masalah mereka juga; dan yang tidak kalah penting…
  20. Orang yang ikut senang saat gue senang dan bukannya diam-diam menyimpan rasa dengki. Gue bisa dengan santai menceritakan ini-itu tentang hidup gue tanpa takut dianggap sombong atau senang pamer.

Orang yang memenuhi 20 kriteria di atas memang jarang ada, itulah sebabnya gue pernah bilang di blog ini, gue merasa bersyukur dipertemukan dengan sahabat-sahabat yang belum tentu dimilki oleh banyak orang lainnya. Dan gue harap sebaliknya, gue juga sudah memenuhi 20 kriteria itu di mata sahabat gue yang keren-keren itu!

Ceritanya hari ini gue sakit (lagi). Berawal dari flu, pagi ini kepala gue rasanya sakit banget. Gue sahur hanya seadanya, kembali tidur, dan saat bangun, kepala gue malah terasa lebih sakit dibanding sebelumnya. Mau minum paracetamol tapi sudah lewat waktu sahur. Jadilah gue ijin sakit untuk hari ini dan hanya berbaring lemas di atas tempat tidur.

Sekitar jam 3 sore, gue mulai bosan. Iseng-iseng gue Whatsapp sahabat gue di kantor sebelumnya. Gue bilang gue bosan karena hanya istirahat seharian di kosan saja. Teman gue ini lalu bilang begini, “Gue ke kosanlo deh. Gue bawain dokter sekalian, hehe.”

Awalnya gue kira dia cuma bercanda, tapi benar saja, sore menjelang buka puasa, teman gue ini muncul di depan kosan. Dia lalu menyodorkan sesuatu dari dalam ras ranselnya, “Ini gue bawain dokter kesukaanlo.”

Tahu apa yang dia bawa? DVD Grey’s Anatomy season 13! Teman gue ini emang tahu banget kalo gue penggemar berat Grey’s Anatomy sejak serial ini baru mulai tayang bertahun-tahun yang lalu. Senang rasanya punya teman yang sangat thoughtful seperti dia!


Hal ini mengingatkan gue dengan acara bukber dengan sahabat-sahabat dari bangku SMA hari Minggu yang lalu. We’ve been friends for sixteen years! It’s amazing, isn’t it?

Gue dan gank gue saat SMA itu punya kepribadian yang sangat bertolak belakang. Satu orang yang sangat humoris, satu orang yang sangat tomboy, satu orang yang sangat pendiam, satu orang yang sangat cerewet, ditambah dengan gue, si judes yang gila kerja, hehehehe. 

Gue dan keempat orang itu udah melewati banyak hal selama enam belas tahun belakangan. Ada up and down, ada jarak dan kesibukan yang memisahkan, tapi gue bersyukur, sangat-sangat bersyukur, gue dan mereka masih saling meluangkan waktu untuk sekedar bertukar kabar. I really can’t wait for our next trip to Bali September this year!

Selain mereka berlima, masih ada lagi sahabat yang sudah gue kenal dari bangku SMP. Dari bangku kuliah. Dan dari kantor pertama gue juga. Gue senang di mana pun gue berada, selalu ada sahabat baik yang menemani perjalanan hidup gue. 

I don’t have a thousand friends, but I do have a couple of the GREATEST friends on earth. And I cannot ask for more.

One of the greatest lessons I learned from getting  older is to learn the things I like, want, and need for my own life. I’ve come to learn quality over quantities, and it includes the people that I need to have around.

I don’t need a thousand friends on my social media, I only need a smaller circle of people who truly care.

I don’t need dozens of social event invitations, I only need unforgettable moments with the loved ones.

And I don’t need a bunch of bride maids on my wedding day, I only need a couple of best friends who are always there in my ups and downs.

Why can’t I have all of that with more of people in my life? Because it takes a great amount of effort just to have a few of them in a longer run and that makes all of them very hard to find!

And why did I say they were hard to find? What precisely do I need from the people that count to me?

Here’s the short list!

  1. I need the people who is genuinely happy for me when my life is up on the sky (and not the ones who let their envy consumes themselves);
  2. The people who is genuinely upset when my life knocks me down (and not the ones who are secretly happy to see me fail);
  3. The people who think of my problems as if it were theirs;
  4. The people who can keep my secrets carefully;
  5. The people who never get bored with the stories and problems I share with them repeatedly;
  6. The people who always reply my text, even the not so important ones (and just because they understand it’s really important for me);
  7. The people who are always willing to forgive my flaws;
  8. The people who still believe in me and capable to see my lights even in my darkest times;
  9. The people who are always in my corner (even when I’m doing all the wrong things in public); and
  10. The people who make time for me, no matter how busy they are.

What makes it even more difficult? Because when I know how hard they try to do all that for me, I will also put my very best effort to do all that for them back. That’s why I said; quality over quantities. I would rather to spend my times and energy to the ones that really matter.

It would be great if you can have dozens of people like that in your life, but to me, I’m beyond grateful just to have a couple of them. I don’t know what I ever did in my past that makes me deserve every single one of them. Not only they are the people I need, they’re also the people I want and I love to have to be a part of my life. I hope, I really hope, we’re going to have each other for the rest of our life.

Have I ever told you how lucky I am for having incredible friends who somehow, choose to stay with me inspite of all my flaws?

They always see the good things in me. They believe that I must have a very good reason behind everything I do, even when it doesn’t always look pretty.

They are hurt, they are angry, they feel my pain everytime I’m wounded inside. Say something horrible about me, they will be the first ones who stand up for me, without being asked.

They care about me even when I don’t feel like I deserve any of that. They think of my problems as if those problems were theirs. They step up, they do something, just to make my problems go away. They really go beyond my imagination, a lot more than I ever expect from a best friend.

They have my name in their prayers, they sincerely wish nothing but the best for me, my life, and my future.

They know how cranky, grumpy, annoying, and moody I can be, but they also know that no matter how bad things go, I’ll never ever be one bad person. I’m no angel, but I’m not an evil either.

They understand I can be extremely noisy, pushy, demanding, and brutally honest, all of that just because I care. They also understand how weird and mellow and stubborn I can be, and all of that just because the way I am. It’s just the trait that has made me who I really am.

Can’t you see it now? For some reasons, they always find a way to believe in me. To forgive me. To accept me for being who I am. They help me to evolve, to be the very best of me. Not only they support me when life knocks me down, they also celebrate with me when this life raises me up. And everytime I feel so bad about myself, they constantly remind me that I am never as bad as I think I am.

They; my very best friends, make me believe that someday, a right man will come along and see me they way they see me. Treats me the way they treat me. Cares about me, fights for me, and chooses to always stay here right by my side. He will always stay, no matter what.

As my best friends always tell me all the way, “Hang on! You’ll get there, someday.”


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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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