A journey to remember

Tu Me Manques

Posted on: July 26, 2014

il_570xN.371987770_stnnPeople says, we don’t really know what we feel about somebody until we start missing their presences in our life. And it can happen in every kind of relationships on earth.

I knew how much I cared about my nephew in my first out of town trip after he was born. Knowing that he was sick during my departure made me feel worried all the time. It felt like I wanted to go back home soon just to see that he was okay.

I knew how wonderful my best friends were after I realized how lousy other friends could be. Too bad that the terrible fight we had before made me couldn’t text them just to say hi. There were some times I really wanted to share the news about my life but I couldn’t. When I finally made up with them, it felt like a few parts of me were coming back.

I knew what a great boss that I used to have after knowing that other people might not do the same favors he did to me. It felt bad to realize that he had no obligation to be that good to me but he did. I’m happier with my new life now, I’m okay with my new boss, but frankly sometimes I think, “It would be different if it were him.”

Finally, most of the time, I knew that I loved somebody when they start missing from my life. In the worst scenario, it could happen when they left me for good. My life was falling apart, broken heart, and bla bla bla.  But sometimes, it could also happen in such an unexpected time. If I feel bad knowing that he will leave just for a holiday trip for instance, at that moment I will know I have that one feeling for him.

Unfortunately, I’m not good on missing somebody. I hope I could just grab my phone and text them first. But all that I can do is mourning the long gone past or looking at the calendar and counting days if I know for sure they will still come back. That’s why I really hate missing somebody.

I hate wondering whether they’re also thinking of me. I hate wondering whether they will say hello to me first. I hate wondering whether something will change upon their return. I also hate knowing that I no longer have somebody to talk those stupid things, to laugh those hilarious jokes, to work things out together, or simply just to see them somewhere in my daily life. And for me, it’s not a pleasant thing to feel this way.

Do you know in French, you don’t really say “I miss you” when you actually miss somebody? They will say instead, “Tu me manques” which means “You are missing from me”. It sounds nice to me, and, it describes better how I feel about missing somebody. I miss them, simply because they are missing from my life. And I really really… want to have them back.

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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