A journey to remember

Idul Fitri: A Perfect Chance to Start Over

Posted on: July 27, 2014

Satu hal yang paling gue suka dari Ramadhan dan Idul Fitri adalah kesempatan untuk kembali memulai dari awal. Dosa-dosa dihapuskan dan seluruh umat saling memaafkan. Karena sebaik-baiknya manusia, pastilah tidak luput dari kesalahan. Begitu pula dengan diri gue sendiri.

Gue tipe orang yang menjunjung tinggi kejujuran. Dalam hal terkecil sekalipun, gue selalu berusaha untuk bersikap dan berkata jujur. I have the courage to tell people the truth, even if it’s not always pretty. Tapi ada kalanya, seringkali tanpa gue sadari, gue tetap pernah mengucapkan kebohongan. I did it in the name of white lie, but who knows… what I called as white lie was actually the safest way to protect myself anyway.

Gue juga pada dasarnya enggak suka berbuat jahat. I really really want to be a good person. Gue sering menolak melakukan sesuatu dengan alasan tidak tega. Tapi tetap ada kalanya, tekanan, konflik yang berkepanjangan, atau mungkin, tuntutan pekerjaan, tanpa gue sadari memaksa gue untuk bersikap sebaliknya. Tanpa pernah gue niatkan, pastilah gue pernah berbuat atau berkata-kata yang dapat menyakiti perasaan orang lain.

Seringkali, segera setelah menyadari gue baru saja melakukan sesuatu yang tidak gue inginkan, gue akan langsung ngerasa nggak enak, menyesal, dsb dsb… Gue tentu akan selalu berusaha keras untuk memperbaiki diri sendiri, tapi tetap saja… gue cuma manusia biasa yang tidak luput dari kesalahan. Sekeras apapun gue berusaha, gue tidak akan pernah bisa jadi sempurna. I was not born to be perfect and people might get hurt by my imperfection.

That’s why I’m so relieved to know that people will at least try to forgive me in this holy day. I’m grateful that they give me a chance to start over, and on top of that, I’m grateful that God give me a chance to redeem my faults.

Sebaliknya, kesadaran yang sama juga mendorong gue untuk belajar memaafkan. Jika masih luar biasa sulit untuk gue bisa memaafkan, gue juga enggak bisa berpura-pura. Tapi setidaknya di dalam hati, gue selalu berjanji pada diri sendiri, pasti akan tiba saatnya gue memaafkan dari lubuk hati gue yang paling dalam.

Lalu bagaimana dengan orang-orang yang tidak pernah memantaskan diri untuk dimaafkan? Well, sometimes, for some people I know, the best way to forgive them is by letting go. Kenapa begitu? Karena dengan gue membiarkan mereka pergi, maka dengan sendirinya, gue sudah tidak lagi memberi mereka kesempatan untuk melakukan hal-hal yang nantinya bikin gue kembali harus bersusah payah hanya untuk bisa memaafkan mereka.

I believe that forgiveness is something that we’ve got to earn. It’s not something which always comes free. Therefore in this opportunity, please do accept my deepest apology. I’m so sorry for every pain I’ve put you through and I hope, you would like to give me a chance to start over.

Happy Ied for my blog readers who celebrate. And of course, happy happy holiday!

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2 Responses to "Idul Fitri: A Perfect Chance to Start Over"

Aku penggemar baru tulisan-tulisan di blog mba, hehe, salam kenal ya mba 🙂

Hi Ervina… Thanks and welcome to my blog 🙂

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It’s very important to feel content about our own life. No matter how hard we try, the truth is, we will NEVER get EVERYTHING we want to have in life. I want to have more curves, I want to have a pair of cheekbones and a chin like a supermodel, I want to be married at 30 years old, I want to be a Math expert, I want so many things in life and some of them are just some mission impossible. It’s true that I’m a go getter, but I simply have no time nor resource to pursue everything I want in life. There are some things that I need to live with it probably for the rest of my life. But you know what? I never regret any of that. I would rather count my blessings rather than feeling sorry for my imperfections. I’ve tried to make the very best of every day in my life, and for me, that is way more than enough. I’m happy just the way I am, and I’m thankful for everything I have, everything I don’t have, and everything that I will never have.
Be a better you, for you. Dress up, wear heels, put some make-up on, for you. Live in your dream, be awesome in what you do, especially for you. Learn from your mistakes, get back up from your downfalls, for you. Be kind, be compassionate, also for you. Make yourself proud for being the very best of you, not to please anyone else but you.
Every people has their very own insecurity. They have flaws, failures, they all once did a couple of things they are not proud of. They have one soul crushing events they wish to forget. Their life is not perfect and nor is mine. I am no different with any other person I know. If there’s one thing I do differently, that one thing that many people is reluctant to do, is that I forgive my past. I accept my flaws. I make peace with my guilts and failures. It’s all simply because there’s nothing I can do to change everything that has happened back in my past. What’s gone is gone, I can only decide what I would like to do on the days to come. Rather than drowning in miseries, I moved on. I’ve seen many people turned their problems to a nightmare. They made their worst moments in life even worse than it should be. They pointed fingers, they blamed random innocent people, they pushed people away, they ran off from reality, they did nothing useful for their own life. Some of them even made their personal problems as someone else’s problems for no particular reason. They let their insecurities hurt people who has nothing to do with their downfalls. My life is no better nor easier than anyone else, but at least, I’m trying so hard to make my own life a better place. If I can do it, and so can you!

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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