A journey to remember

Archive for the ‘Families’ Category

Did you know? Real love is tough. It’s not always pretty. It even looks ugly, sometimes. It doesn’t always please you, it doesn’t always make you feel completely happy, it’s a bumpy road, it’s definitely not as easy as a fairy tale.

Someone who loves you, cares about you, will tell you the truth. An ugly truth, perhaps. It’s not because they don’t love you anymore, it’s just because they want what’s best for you and your life. And when they truly care about you, they tell that truth right in front of you. They won’t backstab you, they will always be bold enough to be honest with you.

Someone who cares about you will not make everything always easy for you. They want you to earn it. They don’t want to spoil you the whole times because they don’t want you to be irresponsible with your own life. They want you to grow up as a person inside.

Someone who sincerely loves you will never give up on you. They will do everything in their power to keep you in their life, and it includes all the fights that have made you feel uncomfortable with the relationship itself. If they just let it fall apart, it simply means they just don’t want to waste their precious times on you.

This theory is one theory that I believe is always right. Be it romantic relationship, friendship, and families. If they care about you, they will take a risk to tell you the truth, and they will take an extra miles just to help you to become a better person than you were yesterday.

Again I tell you here, if your lover never pisses you off, most likely, you haven’t dated them long enough. If your friends only tell all the right things that make you happy, you guys aren’t close enough. And if your parents have stopped lecturing you, then most likely, they have finally given up on you.

Believe me, real love is tough. Nobody is perfect and neither are you, and the people who love you the most are the people who will tell you your imperfections a lot more often than everyone else. If you keep hating them for telling you the truth, you are preventing yourself from being loved. What’s even worse, you’re preventing yourself from being a lovable person who gets better from times to times.

Find someone who is bold enough, who cares enough, to tell you the truth and to fight for that truth, for you.

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One of the greatest lessons I learned from getting  older is to learn the things I like, want, and need for my own life. I’ve come to learn quality over quantities, and it includes the people that I need to have around.

I don’t need a thousand friends on my social media, I only need a smaller circle of people who truly care.

I don’t need dozens of social event invitations, I only need unforgettable moments with the loved ones.

And I don’t need a bunch of bride maids on my wedding day, I only need a couple of best friends who are always there in my ups and downs.

Why can’t I have all of that with more of people in my life? Because it takes a great amount of effort just to have a few of them in a longer run and that makes all of them very hard to find!

And why did I say they were hard to find? What precisely do I need from the people that count to me?

Here’s the short list!

  1. I need the people who is genuinely happy for me when my life is up on the sky (and not the ones who let their envy consumes themselves);
  2. The people who is genuinely upset when my life knocks me down (and not the ones who are secretly happy to see me fail);
  3. The people who think of my problems as if it were theirs;
  4. The people who can keep my secrets carefully;
  5. The people who never get bored with the stories and problems I share with them repeatedly;
  6. The people who always reply my text, even the not so important ones (and just because they understand it’s really important for me);
  7. The people who are always willing to forgive my flaws;
  8. The people who still believe in me and capable to see my lights even in my darkest times;
  9. The people who are always in my corner (even when I’m doing all the wrong things in public); and
  10. The people who make time for me, no matter how busy they are.

What makes it even more difficult? Because when I know how hard they try to do all that for me, I will also put my very best effort to do all that for them back. That’s why I said; quality over quantities. I would rather to spend my times and energy to the ones that really matter.

It would be great if you can have dozens of people like that in your life, but to me, I’m beyond grateful just to have a couple of them. I don’t know what I ever did in my past that makes me deserve every single one of them. Not only they are the people I need, they’re also the people I want and I love to have to be a part of my life. I hope, I really hope, we’re going to have each other for the rest of our life.

Waktu jaman duluuu banget, gue pernah punya masalah bertubi-tubi yang akhirnya bikin gue jatuh sakit, sampe hampir dirawat di rumah sakit. Gue baru sembuh total setelah beberapa minggu lamanya, setelah tiga kali ganti-ganti dokter spesialis. Saat itu gue tahu, masalahnya bukan kecapekan, bukan kebanyakan lembur, tapi stres, tertekan, kekecewaan, sedih, patah hati, yang semuanya seolah melebur jadi satu. Waktu itu rasa-rasanya benar-benar titik terendah sepanjang hidup gue.

Daaan… tepat di saat gue berpikir tidak ada yang mungkin lebih buruk dari kejadian bertahun-tahun yang lalu itu, rentetan konflik yang baru kembali menimpa gue. Kali ini, saking tertekannya, gue sampe dateng ke tempat praktek psikolog klinis. Bukan berarti gue punya masalah kejiwaan lho yaa, hanya saja entah kenapa, saat itu gue ngerasa butuh sudut pandang orang asing yang bisa gue percaya dan bisa memberikan penilaian secara objektif. Kalau bukan psikolog, siapa lagi?

Bukannya beres sampai di situ, keadaan justru memburuk beberapa saat setelah kunjungan gue ke psikolog itu. Tapi justru di situ itu lah perfect timing menurut gue. Saat keadaan memburuk, saran si mbak psikolog itu sudah mulai gue terapkan, dan percaya tidak percaya, gue ngerasa bisa melewati ujian kali ini jauh lebih baik daripada kejadian bertahun-tahun yang lalu itu.

Berawal dari saran untuk kembali menghubungi sahabat-sahabat lama, untuk mengubah tabiat gue, untuk memberanikan diri mencari penyelesaian dari masalah gue, lama kelamaan, gue jadi ketagihan ingin mengubah cara hidup gue sendiri.

Gue mulai menyempatkan diri untuk kembali terhubung dengan sahabat-sahabat lama. Mulai kembali curhat sama mereka, mulai ketemuan, atau curi-curi waktu untuk makan siang bareng… Gue seperti kembali teringat alasan kenapa dulu gue bisa berteman sebegitu erat dengan mereka semua.

Gue yang tadinya hanya makan siang, makan malam, pergi nonton dan karoke dengan orang-orang yang itu-itu saja, mulai melebarkan sayap dengan ngobrol panjang lebar dengan lebih banyak orang. Gue berusaha lebih mengenal orang-orang yang sebelumnya hanya gue kenal sepintas saja. Wajah-wajah di socmed homepage gue jadi lebih bervariasi daripada sebelumnya!

Gue juga mulai menantang diri gue sendiri untuk bisa belajar sabar. Bukan berarti gue tidak akan pernah marah lagi, jika memang harus marah, ya gue tetap marah. Tapi setidaknya, gue lebih mengendalikan kata-kata yang gue ucapkan. Dan setidaknya, sekarang gue udah bisa marah-marah dengan suara sepelan-pelannya, hehehehe.

Lalu malam ini, untuk pertama kalinya, gue memberanikan datang ke wedding reception seorang diri! Biasanya, gue mesti banget janjian dengan minimal satu orang teman yang gue kenal dengan baik. Tapi hari ini, gue langsung datang dan sesampainya di sana, langsung cari-cari orang yang bisa gue ajak ngobrol-ngobrol. Awalnya sempat boring, tapi lama-lama, malah ada beberapa percakapan yang lumayan interesting. Tanpa terasa, dua jam di sana sudah terlewat dengan sendirinya.

Kembali ke tadi siang, setelah resepsi pernikahan pertama yang gue hadiri di hari ini, gue menyempatkan makan sore (iya, makan sore-sore, hehehehe) bareng sahabat dari kantor gue sebelumnya. Dia bilang, dia membelikan sesuatu yang menurut dia tuh bener-bener gue banget. Dia belikan barang-barang itu sebagai kado ultah gue yang jatuhnya masih sebulan lagi! Tahu apa isi kadonya? Buku berjudul The Alpha Girl’s Guide, dilengkapi dengan satu batang cokelat yang katanya bisa bikin enteng jodoh (dan nama produknya beneran Cokelat Enteng Jodoh!). Rasanya udah lama banget sejak terakhir kali gue tertawa bahagia saat menerima pemberian orang lain. This gift is very thoughtful!

Hari ini, gue juga sempat ngobrol panjang lebar dengan sahabat baik gue di bangku kuliah dulu. Gue sempat mengenalkan sahabat kuliah dengan sahabat di kantor lama sambil makan-makan sore itu. Melihat mereka bisa akur dan saling bercanda satu sama lainnya, hati gue jadi tersentuh! Gue jadi menyadari betapa beruntungnya diri gue ini. Gue jadi sadar bahwa ternyata, seumur hidup gue, gue tidak pernah benar-benar sendiri.

Ternyata, gue memiliki hal-hal yang belum tentu dimiliki orang lain pada umumnya: sahabat dan keluarga yang tulus mengasihi, orang-orang luar biasa yang selalu bisa menerima gue dengan segala kekurangan dalam diri gue ini. Menghabiskan waktu bersama mereka membuat gue menyadadari bahwa seburuk apapun situasi gue saat ini, setidaknya, gue tidak pernah seorang diri.

Gue selalu punya orang-orang yang ikut marah saat gue sedih dan tersakiti.

Gue selalu punya orang-orang yang tidak putus menyemangati untuk gue bangkit lagi.

Gue selalu punya orang-orang yang menyempatkan waktu, bahkan di tengah malam sekalipun, untuk mendengar keluh kesah gue.

Gue selalu punya orang-orang yang betulan serius memutar otak bagaimana caranya untuk menghibur dan membuat gue kembali tertawa.

Gue selalu punya orang-orang yang menemani tiap langkah gue, dalam suka-duka, dalam titik terbaik dan juga titik terburuk sepanjang hidup gue.

Banyak orang yang bilang, karier gue adalah anugerah terbaik dalam hidup gue. Tanpa mengurangi rasa syukur gue untuk kemudahan karier gue, kali ini gue mau bilang… Kenyataannya, sahabat dan keluarga gue adalah anugerah terbesar dalam hidup gue ini. Tanpa mereka, gue pastilah bukan siapa-siapa.

Thanks for the love, the patience, the never ending support, and on top of all that, thanks for always being there for me. You guys are the best! And I just cannot ask for more.

Seringkali, gue merasa sedih saat melihat realita di depan mata. Kita – termasuk diri gue sendiri – seringkali taking others for granted. Memperlakukan mereka secara semena-mena, tidak menghargai mereka sebagaimana mestinya, dan ironisnya, seringkali kita melakukan hal tersebut justru kepada orang-orang terdekat kita. Kepada orang-orang yang tulus menyayangi dan selalu ada buat kita.

Contohnya anggota keluarga. Kita paling sering berkata seenaknya kepada mereka. Meluapkan apa saja yang ada di dalam perasaan. Kita bisa bersikap lebih sopan kepada orang asing ketimbang anggota keluarga kita sendiri. Kenapa demikian? Karena kita tahu, keluarga akan tetap jadi keluarga. Mereka akan selalu menerima kita dengan segala keburukan dalam diri kita ini. Kita malah dengan enteng berpikiran, “Toh mereka sudah terbiasa dengan kelakuan gue!”

Tanpa kita sadari, hal yang sama juga kita lakukan dalam lingkungan pergaulan. Kita lebih mementingkan teman-teman yang kelihatan lebih keren. Lebih asyik. Lebih kaya raya. Dan lain sebagainya. Teman-teman yang selalu ada dalam suka dan duka justru jadi prioritas selanjutnya. Teman-teman yang menyediakan bahunya untuk tangisan kita justru teman-teman yang kita lupakan saat kita tertawa bahagia.

Hal yang sama juga bisa terjadi dalam dunia kerja. Menggaji karyawan seenaknya. Memperlakukan mereka bukan berdasarkan kontribusi, tapi malah berdasarkan rasa suka tidak suka yang sifatnya sangat subjektif. Mengkambinghitamkan tim yang tidak bersalah hanya demi keuntungan pribadi. Dan masih banyak lagi hal-hal buruk lainnya.

Kemudian yang terakhir, dalam hal percintaan. Terkadang, kita merasa bisa memperlakukan mereka sesuka suasana hati karena kita tahu mereka tidak akan ke mana-mana. Kita merasa boleh datang dan pergi sesuka hati karena toh mereka akan selalu bersedia menerima kita kembali. Kita seolah lupa bahwa jika kita tidak bisa balas mencintai, maka dilepaskan saja. Biarkan mereka mendapatkan orang lain yang bisa mencintai mereka sama besarnya.

Cintailah orang lain sebagaimana mestinya.

Jangan biarkan anggota keluarga kita menyayangi kita hanya karena terpaksa; hanya karena mereka tidak punya pilihan lain selain menerima kita sebagai bagian dari keluarga.

Jangan pula biarkan teman-teman terbaik kita perlahan pergi dari hidup kita ini. Memangnya kita pikir kita ini siapa? Lama-lama mereka juga akan gerah jika kita hanya datang saat ada maunya.

Kita juga harus belajar berlaku adil kepada rekan kerja. Semakin tinggi jabatan, semakin besar pula tanggung jawabnya. Jangan hanya mau terima gajinya saja!

Yang terakhir, hargailah orang lain yang mencintai kita dengan setulus hatinya. Jika ingin menolak, lakukan dengan penuh perasaan. Jangan malah jadi congkak! Dan bagaimanapun, menolak tetap jauh lebih baik daripada menggantung tanpa ada keputusan.

Kenapa di awal gue bilang gue merasa sedih melihat realita ini? Karena sebetulnya, memperlakukan orang lain secara semena-mena justru menjauhkan diri kita sendiri dari kebahagiaan. Kita menjauhkan diri dari orang yang paling mampu menerima kita apa adanya. Kita menjauhkan diri dari orang-orang yang kemungkinan besar, paling mampu membuat kita bahagia.

Stop taking people for granted, let’s start from the closest ones. Let’s start from saying sorry for all the pain that we put them through. Let’s start to treat them right! And always remember, what comes around goes around.

Have a lovely week ahead!

 

 

Ceritanya kemarin, gue dan adek gue ngerayain hari ulang tahun ke empat-nya Arfa (anaknya adek gue itu). Karena Arfa sekolah di Bekasi, mau tidak mau, tempat perayaan juga tidak jauh-jauh dari sekolahnya Arfa. Agak tidak ideal karena justru jauh dari tempat tinggal keluarga besar dan teman-teman terdekat. Dan honestly, gue agak-agak enggak pede dengan lokasi rumah kalau mengingat ekspresi dan komentar orang-orang yang pernah jauh-jauh datang ke sini, hehehehe.

Saking akrabnya gue dengan Arfa, gue jadi kepengen ngundang teman-teman terdekat di kantor juga. Agak khawatir soal jarak dan macetnya, tapi tetap gue undang juga. Gue undang, tapi tidak ada satupun yang gue tanya mau datang atau enggak karena takut kecewa sama jawabannya, hehehehe. I just thought that true friends will walk a thousand miles without being asked anyway 😉

Saat sampai hari H, gue sempat harap-harap cemas. Sudah jam 15:30, sesuai undangan harusnya pesta sudah dimulai, tapi belum ada tamu yang datang 😦 Pikir gue, mungkin karena bulan puasa, karena sedang turun hujan, dan karena macet sedang parah-parahnya. Memang bukan pesta gue, tapi gue jadi kayak balik lagi ke anak kecil yang khawatir tidak ada temannya yang datang ke pesta, hehehehe.

Ternyata oh ternyata, tamu undangan hanya datang terlambat saja! Pesta telat dimulai, tapi teman-teman sekelas Arfa dan dua orang gurunya datang semua ke pestanya Arfa! Bahkan ada cukup banyak keluarga besar dan teman-teman dekat adik gue yang baru datang jam 7 malam! Lalu teman-teman gue sendiri, yang janji datang betulan datang ditambah satu personil yang tidak diduga-duga ikut muncul di tempat pesta, hehehehe. Gue betul-betul terharu mereka mau jauh-jauh datang ke sini!

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Gue senang pesta ulang tahun Arfa berjalan lancar. Anaknya juga kelihatan sangat-sangat senang sepanjang acara ulang tahunnya! Kadonya ada banyak, termasuk dari orang-orang yang tidak bisa hadir. Ada beberapa kado yang harganya jelas fantastis, tapi tahu apa yang lebih berharga daripada kado yang termahal sekalipun? Kesediaan untuk menyediakan waktu untuk datang ke pesta ini. Time is the most valuable gift that someone could ever give, because once it’s passed, there’s no way people can take it back. So thank you, thank you, and thank you for coming!

Finally, happy birthday for my amazing nephew! The last four year of our lives have been a lot merrier since the day our families had him between us. We hope nothing but the best things for him and his life! He will always be loved, and he knows that 🙂

This year, once again, I have another unforgettable birthday. A fancy dinner in Four Seasons with my families on my birthday night, a small reunion with my high school best friends, a nice surprise from my team at work (I thought they would only give me a cake with candles on it, turned out they gave me a customized birthday cupcakes, birthday cards, and shopping vouchers! 😀 ), and a Friday dinner with my team to celebrate my birthday (again!).

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After so many long days in November, my birthday was such a refreshment to me. I still have a little kid inside of me who gets excited with a nicely wrapped gift, I’m touched knowing that I have many friends willing to come up with a plan to surprise me, and I’m glad that wherever I work, I work with the people who end up as my friends.

Now my birthday is over, I simply think, “I can’t wait for my next birthday! Hehehehe.”

il_570xN.371987770_stnnPeople says, we don’t really know what we feel about somebody until we start missing their presences in our life. And it can happen in every kind of relationships on earth.

I knew how much I cared about my nephew in my first out of town trip after he was born. Knowing that he was sick during my departure made me feel worried all the time. It felt like I wanted to go back home soon just to see that he was okay.

I knew how wonderful my best friends were after I realized how lousy other friends could be. Too bad that the terrible fight we had before made me couldn’t text them just to say hi. There were some times I really wanted to share the news about my life but I couldn’t. When I finally made up with them, it felt like a few parts of me were coming back.

I knew what a great boss that I used to have after knowing that other people might not do the same favors he did to me. It felt bad to realize that he had no obligation to be that good to me but he did. I’m happier with my new life now, I’m okay with my new boss, but frankly sometimes I think, “It would be different if it were him.”

Finally, most of the time, I knew that I loved somebody when they start missing from my life. In the worst scenario, it could happen when they left me for good. My life was falling apart, broken heart, and bla bla bla.  But sometimes, it could also happen in such an unexpected time. If I feel bad knowing that he will leave just for a holiday trip for instance, at that moment I will know I have that one feeling for him.

Unfortunately, I’m not good on missing somebody. I hope I could just grab my phone and text them first. But all that I can do is mourning the long gone past or looking at the calendar and counting days if I know for sure they will still come back. That’s why I really hate missing somebody.

I hate wondering whether they’re also thinking of me. I hate wondering whether they will say hello to me first. I hate wondering whether something will change upon their return. I also hate knowing that I no longer have somebody to talk those stupid things, to laugh those hilarious jokes, to work things out together, or simply just to see them somewhere in my daily life. And for me, it’s not a pleasant thing to feel this way.

Do you know in French, you don’t really say “I miss you” when you actually miss somebody? They will say instead, “Tu me manques” which means “You are missing from me”. It sounds nice to me, and, it describes better how I feel about missing somebody. I miss them, simply because they are missing from my life. And I really really… want to have them back.


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The beauty of diversity. I'm glad that I met them along my career path at Lazada. Just a little help like this could mean everything to me and The Lens Story. Many thanks! ❤️
📷: @thelenstory 👚: @adidaswomen 👕: @nike 
#friends #friendshipgoals #diversity #photography #photooftheday #canon #snapseed #thelenstory Find someone who loves you properly.
The one who never intentionally let you wait for him.
The one who never makes you have to wonder how he truly feels about you.
The one who will definitely catch you and hold you tight as you fall for him.
The one who gives you all he has to be a better man, to fix what goes wrong, to fight for you and to never let you go.
You are too old for another Mr. Wrong, reward yourself with the right one.
Love yourself enough to leave your past, you deserve better.
📷: @thelenstory
💄: @yuficarolin.mua
👗: @calla.atelier
👠: @charleskeithofficial 
#love #life #quote #photography #photooftheday #thelenstory I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I do the things I'm not proud of. I give up, sometimes. I hurt people, mostly the ones that I actually care about. I have a lot of flaws, but at least, I'm trying hard to be a better person. I'm no saint nor angel, but I'm not a pure evil either. I'm simply a human who is trying to be the very best that I can be. I'll never stop learning, until my very last breath.
📷 @thelenstory
💄 @yuficarolin.mua
👗 @calla.atelier
👠 @charleskeithofficial
#photooftheday #beauty #photography #quote #thelenstory

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.