Thing to Do Over My Weekends

Got super busy at work in the past three weeks and it left me with tons of things to do! It’s nothing important to read and you can just skip it if you want.

  1. Set up my new laptop. The shortcuts settings, the background picture and the screensaver. I like it when my laptop doesn’t look like any other laptop;
  2. Clean up my phone storage. I often transfer original pictures from SLR to my phone and it has really consumed my phone’s storage. It will take times for me just to get it done and it’s only because I’d love to keep most of those gorgeous pictures in my phone, hehehehe;
  3. Rearrange my closet. It’s already full, it’s messy, and it has made searching for the clothes I want to wear become so difficult!
  4. Read the books that I’ve bought since many months ago! Some of them are even still perfectly sealed!
  5. Throw away expired products in my fridge! It’s so embarrassing every time people comes visiting and I realize that I actually have nothing to serve, hehehehe;
  6. Home spa. I’ve forgot the last time I scrubbed, polished my nails, and turned my facial steamer on;
  7. Get myself new songs in my playlist!
  8. Check to the landlord if they still have any bigger room with bigger closet. This super small wardrobe has really stopped me from buying new clothes, hehehehe;
  9. Go to Grand Indonesia to redeem my shopping vouchers before it passes its expiration date!
  10. Go to Olivier just to taste their legendary Vietnames coffee. It has nothing to do with the murder by the way. It’s just because I went to Vietnam last week and I’m falling for their coffee!

God, please give me more Saturdays and Sundays to get this all done!

Lie to Social Media is a Lie to Ourselves

Lately I realize, some people (including myself!) can fake a lot of things in social media. I don’t do it often but when I realize some others are doing this, it gets me thinking, “Why do we do this? And whom are we kidding here???”

People post a lot of romantic pictures with their spouses while actually, they fight nearly all the times with each other.

People seem to have a lot of fun with their friends in their pictures while actually, they were busy with their phones and only got together when they took that cheerful pictures.

People post this and that just to imply they’re so in love while actually, they’re only trying to make their ex jealous, angry, regret their decisions and bla bla bla.

People fake their statuses trying to say how they have moved on from their ex while actually, they only lie to themselves thinking that it will make them look any better.

The way I see it now, we’re more focus on what it seems on social media rather than seeing what actually happens in the real life.

There’s nothing wrong from posting romantic pictures, it’s even can be so cute! But do make sure that you two are happy together too. Make an effort to make that romance happen in your real life!

There’s nothing wrong from taking pictures with your friends, but put down your phones and do actual talks when you’re sitting right next to them. Always make the real memories to be remembered and to be told to your grandchildren!

Having unfinished business with your ex? Just knock their door and tell them everything you always want to say out loud! Good things, bad things, just learn how to close your book properly!

Real life is a lot larger than just a Facebook homepage, Path timeline, and all of those tweets we have posted. When we lie to our social media, we’re actually lying to ourselves. And yes, we’re kidding to ourselves too!

Have fun with your social media, but don’t let you make fun of yourself in your own social media.

Don’t Be Too Tired to Be Better

Akhir-akhir ini, ada beberapa kejadian yang membuat gue ngerasa belum jadi seseorang yang gue inginkan untuk diri gue sendiri. Tiba-tiba, gue sadar dengan sendirinya bahwa gue masih jauh dari good enough.

Apa saja contohnya?

  1. Nge-judge sifat buruk orang lain padahal gue juga memiliki sifat buruk yang tidak jauh beda dengan orang yang gue judge;
  2. Menasehati orang lain di saat sebaiknya gue menasehati diri gue sendiri;
  3. Membenci orang lain atas sesuatu yang juga pernah gue lakukan terhadap orang lainnya;
  4. Merasa jadi korban padahal sebetulnya, gue sendiri yang jadi “penjahatnya”;
  5. Menuduh orang lain sebagai si “Mr. Wrong”, padahal bisa jadi, gue juga si “Ms. Wrong” buat dia.

Saat gue menyadari lima hal di atas, gue mulai terpikir untuk instropeksi lebih dalam lagi. Rasa-rasanya, gue seperti mulai berkaca; seolah melihat sisi jelek diri gue sendiri dalam diri orang lain di depan gue.

Tidak mudah mengubah sifat jelek yang sudah kuat tertanam dalam diri kita sendiri. Tapi konon katanya, awal dari perubahan adalah mengakui bahwa masih sangat banyak hal yang harus kita rubah dalam diri kita ini. Semakin kita merasa yakin bahwa sifat kita sudah sempurna, maka sebenarnya, diri kita justru semakin jauh dari kesempurnaan itu sendiri.

Be better. And never ever be too tired for that.

Girls’ Deepest Secrets

Banyak teman cowok yang bilang ke gue, cewek itu ribet. Padahal sebetulnya, pola pikir cewek pada umumnya itu sangat mudah untuk ditebak. Kenapa? Karena pada umumnya, cewek itu pola pikirnya sederhana: kami mempercayai apa yang kita lihat serta apa yang kita dengar. Ada beberapa cewek yang lebih cuek atau sebaliknya, lebih analitis daripada cewek pada umumnya, tapi tetap saja, ujung-ujungnya cewek itu hanya menafsirkan apa yang terlihat mata serta apa yang didengar telinga.

Berikut ini contoh penafsiran di benak perempuan atas prilaku-prilaku orang yang kita sukai.  Mungkin, teori gue ini tidak 100% benar, tapi setidaknya, apa yang gue tulis ini adalah murni isi pemikiran gue sendiri yang kebetulan juga sama persis dengan cewek-cewek lain yang gue kenal.

11

Apa kesamaan dari semua hal yang gue sebutkan di atas? Kesamaannya adalah: cewek cenderung lebih menurunkan harapan dan ekspektasinya. Kita lebih memilih untuk melihat the worst scenario-nya. Kalau pun di awal kita masih sok-sok mencoba berpikiran positif, jika prilaku yang sama terus berulang beberapa kali setelahnya, maka kita akan mulai berhenti menghibur diri dan lebih memilih untuk move on saja. Kenapa demikian? Supaya kita tidak kecewa dan patah hati semakin dalam!

Gue tahu bahwa kadang-kadang, cowok punya alasannya tersendiri, tapi kalian juga harus hati-hati! Bisa-bisa malah salah strategi yang hanya akan menjauhkan kita dari kalian (kecuali jika memang itu yang kalian inginkan). Karena seberani-beraninya perempuan, kita cenderung lebih penakut untuk urusan cinta-cintaan. Tidak aneh jika cukup banyak cewek yang saat harus memilih di antara dua cowok, mereka akan memilih cowok yang terlihat lebih jelas atau lebih serius menunjukkan rasa cintanya.

Nah, masihkah kalian berpikiran kalo cewek itu ribet jalan pikirannya?

The Relationship Goals

Until just a little while ago, I used to wonder what I did so wrong that my past relationships never lasted long or even never happened in the first place.

Is it something that I said?

Should I be more obvious on the way I felt about him?

Should I be nicer, less moody, more patient, more like many other girls that I know? Really? Should I really be so much less of myself?

Or maybe, I shouldn’t do this and that to keep him around, should I?

But then lately I realized… They; all those guys from the past, just didn’t feel the same way like I used to feel about them. Because if they did really care about me, then they would never give up on me. They, together with myself, would always try to find a way to make it work between the two of us.

If both of us really wanted to make it happen, then no matter how many mistakes we had done to each other, we’d always try to forgive each other. If there was any doubt, insecurity, and confusion between us, we would ask and talk like an adult. And if we really loved each other, as much as we tried to bring out the best of each other, at the end of the day, we would still accept each other just the way we were.

It takes two to tango; a relationship can’t work if both of us don’t do the work. I couldn’t be perfect, he couldn’t be perfect, yet we should always try to live with that anyway.

Don’t blame yourself way too hard if someone you love does not love you as much as you love them. Don’t feel too much less than who you are, don’t feel worthless, don’t feel like all mistakes are on you. Love yourself enough to move on, or maybe, to fight for it – properly – just one more time.

Whatever it is, always do remember: when two people really care about each other, they – both of them! – will always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is. Period.

10 Quick Ways to Be Happier

Sampai kira-kira tiga minggu yang lalu, mood gue masih jelek-jeleknya. Semua jenis perasaan yang serba jelek seolah bercampur aduk jadi satu dalam hati gue ini. Tapi lalu beberapa hari belakangan ini, perasaan gue malah sedang senang-senangnya! The past two weeks has been the greatest weeks of the year!

Apa rahasianya? Hal-hal sederhana saja!

  1. Do more of the things that I love to do, in my case: traveling! Meski cuma sempat traveling satu hari penuh di Guilin, Cina, rasanya sudah senang banget! Gue berhasil bawa pulang foto-foto yang bisa bikin orang lain iri, hehehehe;
  2. Make the best of my weekends. Kalau pun enggak bisa traveling yang jauh-jauh, yang deket-deket kayak Bandung juga boleh lah. Atau kalau bukan traveling, ya setidaknya jangan tiap weekend hanya makan-tidur di rumah saja! Beneran deh, terlalu banyak lazy weekends hanya bikin hidup jadi membosankan! Makanya sekarang, secapek-capeknya, weekend gue tidak boleh lagi hanya di rumah saja!
  3. No drama queen, please! Salah satu hal yang bikin mood gue jadi jelek adalah orang-orang yang suka mendramatisir keadaan. Trik gue: saat omongan mereka sudah mulai terdengar tidak masuk akal, ya sudahlah, ditinggalkan saja! It really makes my life feel easier;
  4. Be friends only with the ones who want me back. Ini benar lho, bertepuk sebelah tangan itu bukan cuma terjadi di urusan cinta-cintaan aja. Buat apa lah sibuk ngejar-ngejar teman yang susah banget diajak hang out kalau masih ada (dan pasti ada!) teman lain yang hanya one text away;
  5. Terima kenyataan bahwa semakin tinggi pohon, semakin kencang juga anginnya. Sekarang, gue sudah lebih masa bodo dalam menghadapi para pembenci itu. Gue mau sebaik apa pun juga, kalau memang pada dasarnya pendengki ya akan tetap jadi pendengki saja. Nggak perlu balas jahat sama mereka, tapi enggak usah juga capek-capek baik-baikin mereka semua! Lebih baik gue fokus berbuat baik pada orang-orang yang juga baik sama gue kaan, hehehe;
  6. Know when I’ve got to move on. Kalau gue sudah berusaha menunjukan perasaan gue, sudah jelas-jelas mengistimewakan dia, tapi dia masih diam saja, ya sudah, anggap saja gue cuma bertepuk sebelah tangan! Masa’ iya toh, gue mesti sampe nembak duluan? Toh gue percaya, cowok yang benar-benar sayang sama gue tidak akan membiarkan gue lewat begitu saja 😉
  7. Meet some new people. Ini dia yang bikin hidup gue 2 minggu belakangan ini terasa sangat menyenangkan: kenalan dengan orang-orang baru! Waktu di Hangzhou minggu lalu, sampai ada teman baru yang ngajak gue makan malam lanjut jalan-jalan di sekitar The West Lake. It was really a night to remember!
  8. Be very very good at my job. Kalau kata bos-bos gue, gue ini tipikal consistent performer (cie ciee). Mau gimanapun keadaannya, performance gue selalu saja di atas rata-rata. Ikhlas nggak ikhlas, senang nggak senang, capek nggak capek, kualitas kerja tetap di atas segala-galanya. I’ve just got some kind of special reward from my company this week and it has really been the highlight of the year!
  9. Belajar memaafkan. Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna, gue juga tidak sempurna, jadi jika gue ingin dimaafkan, gue juga harus belajar memaafkan! Dan kadang kala, tidak ada salahnya lho, memberikan kesempatan ke dua. Dicoba dulu saja!
  10. Ikhlas, ikhlas, dan ikhlas! Sekeras apapun gue berusaha, gue tetap tidak akan selalu mendapatkan segala yang gue inginkan. Dan setulus apapun gue mencintai, belum tentu gue pasti akan balas dicintai sama besarnya. Selama gue sudah berusaha semaksimal yang gue bisa, apapun hasilnya, gue ikhlas. 🙂

Sepuluh hal di atas terdengar sangat-sangat sederhana? Memang! Karena kadang kala, jika hal-hal besar sudah tidak lagi membuat kita merasa bahagia, bisa jadi, justru hal-hal kecil yang terlewati yang bisa mengembalikan kebahagiaan kita itu!

Always try to find a way to be happy, and that’s only because this life is too short to be miserable! Have a blast with your life!

I’m Indonesian, and I’m Proud of It

Akhir-akhir ini, gue cukup sering mendengar pertanyaan-pertanyaan berikut ini dari orang-orang asing yang baru saja mengenal gue.

“Are you Indonesian (or you just happen to work in Indonesia)?”

“So you were born and raised in Indonesia?”

“Did you ever go to school abroad?”

Jawaban dari semua pertanyaan itu sudah tentu iya, iya, dan tidak. Seolah sulit dipercaya buat mereka bahwa gue betulan orang Indonesia asli yang tidak pernah mengenyam pendidikan di luar negeri. Kata mereka, gue tidak seperti orang Indonesia pada umumnya. Bangga, sudah tentu, tapi di sisi lain, gue cukup merasa tersentil juga. Bukankah itu tandanya, kita; warga negara Indonesia, masih punya banyak PR dalam membangun bangsa ini?

Kita masih perlu belajar untuk menjadi bangsa yang berani mengambil keputusan. Berani mengutarakan pendapat serta benar-benar berani mewujudkan pendapat tersebut dalam bentuk perbuatan yang nyata (alias jangan cuma omdo). Berani berambisi dan berani mengambil resiko untuk mewujudkannya. Termasuk di dalamnya, berani meninggalkan zona nyaman untuk menantang diri kita sendiri!

Kita juga masih perlu belajar untuk menjadi bangsa yang mempunyai kepercayaan dan kebanggan diri. Bangga atas budaya sendiri, bangga untuk mengatakan tidak pada budaya yang tidak sejalan dengan hati nurani, serta punya keyakinan diri bahwa kita; bangsa Indonesia, tidak kalah dengan bangsa-bangsa lainnya! Jika mereka (baca: orang-orang bule itu) bisa melakukan sesuatu yang hebat, maka kita juga bisa jadi sama hebatnya! We can even be much better than them!

Yang terakhir, kita masih perlu banyak mempercerdas diri kita sendiri. Jangan malas untuk mempelajari ilmu baru, mempertajam ketrampilan, memperluas wawasan, dan tidak ada salahnya untuk mencoba melihat satu permasalahan dari berbagai sudut perspektif. Do the extra miles, serta jangan terlalu cepat merasa puas!

Kita harus berhenti menyalahkan pemerintahan Indonesia sehingga kita hanya bisa jadi begini-begini saja. Harus berhenti menyalahkan buruknya sistem pendidikan di Indonesia sehingga kita tidak sepintar bangsa-bangsa lainnya. Harus berhenti merasa malu bahwa kita hanya seorang warga negara Indonesia. Meski terdengar klise, tapi kenyataannya memang benar bahwa jika kita masih menyimpan pikiran seperti itu dalam benak kita, maka seseungguhnya, diri kita ini belum merdeka.

 I’m Indonesian, I was born, raised, and studied in Indonesia, and I’m proud of it.

Terlepas dari segala keterbatasannya, Indonesia adalah tempat gue mengejar mimpi (credit to OLX for this tag line!). Indonesia adalah tempat gue dipertemukan dengan orang-orang yang kemudian mengukir sejarah dalam hidup gue. Indonesia adalah tempat gue belajar mencintai dan dicintai. Indonesia adalah bagian dari diri gue, hidup gue, dan masa depan gue.

Selamat ulang tahun yang ke 71, Indonesia! Let’s do better, and let’s start from ourselves.

I’m Beyond Blessed!

Setelah menghabiskan 6 malam di kota Hangzhou (I’ll write more about that later), akhirnya gue kesampaian menginjakan kaki di kota Guilin, China. Rencananya, besok gue akan mengunjungi Li river yang terkenal indah itu!

Sesampainya di Guilin, seperti biasa, gue langsung norak foto-foto ruangan kamar gue. Gue udah bayar sedikit lebih mahal buat dapetin kamar dengan balcony dan juga kamar mandi menghadap ke sungai, rugi banget kalo enggak didokumentasikan. Sesuai prinsip auditor pada umumnya; not documented not done, hehehehe.

Selesai foto-foto, gue langsung retouch dan naik ke sky garden buat early dinner. Udah hampir jam 6 sore tapi gue baru sempat makan besar! Tadi pagi gue sibuk hunting foto di Hangzhou, lanjut meeting sebentar di kantor Alibaba (plus sempat-sempatnya belanja oleh-oleh di office complex-nya Alibaba), lalu setelah itu terjebak macet 2 jam di perjalanan menuju airport. Untunglah pesawat gue delay, jadi sempat makan cheesecake dulu di restaurant kecil di dalam bandara.

Begitu naik ke sky garden hotel gue di Guilin ini, gue langsung terpukau! View-nya malah lebih bagus daripada teras kamar gue itu. Sungainya, pepohonannya, ditambah suara jangkriknya!

Setelah puas ambil banyak foto pemandangan, gue pesan makan. Ini agak tricky secara sangat susah cari makanan halal di Cina ini, jadi sudahlah, gue pesan cream soup dan garlic bread saja. Sambil menunggu, gue sempat-sempatnya minta tolong mbak penjaga restoran buat ambilin foto gue! 😀 Dan si mbak ini niat banget lho bantuin fotonya. Dia foto gue dari berbagai angle yang dia anggap bagus. I like it!

Saat makanan datang, tentu makanannya gue foto dulu. Setelah itu langsung gue makan, dan nggak disangka-sangka, rasa supnya enak banget! Garlic bread-nya juga gurih dan terasa pas menyatu dengan cream soup-nya. Sambil makan, pandangan mata gue tidak bisa lepas dari pemandangan di depan sana. Hembusan angin, suara alam sekitar, dan rakit bambu yang melintas di sungai di bawah sana membuat acara makan malam gue jadi terasa sangat berbeda. Saat itulah, dalam hati gue berpikiran, “I am beyond blessed! This is exactly the life I’ve been dreaming of.”

7I’ve been spending a lovely week this week. Mengunjungi tempat baru, ketemu orang-orang baru, tinggal di dua hotel yang sangat fotogenik! Memang capek karena jadwal kerja di sini padat banget, tapi toh, gue masih sempat menghabiskan akhir pekan untuk acara jalan-jalan. What can be better than such a job like this? 😉

Emang sih, hidup gue ini banyak banget rintangannya. Tanggung jawab besar, tekanan besar, stres dan deadline yang tidak pernah ada habisnya… Belum lagi permasalahan pribadi yang terkadang membuat gue bertanya-tanya sama diri gue sendiri, “Did I do something wrong?” Memang tidak mudah menjalani keseharian gue, tapi, rasanya betul-betul menyenangkan! Ibaratnya prinsip investasi, higher risk, higher return, hehehehe 😉

Di saat hati gue sedang terasa luar biasa damainya, eeh, tiba-tiba di depan gue ada orang asyik pacaran! Si cowok sibuk mengambil gambar pasangannya, pakai kamera SLR, dan si cewek sibuk berpose secantik-cantiknya. Mereka kelihatan serasi, dan gue betulan ngerasa iri! Duh duh duh, manusia emang nggak pernah ada puasnya :p Sambil senyum-senyum sendiri melihat sepasang muda-mudi itu, dalam diam gue berbisik sama diri gue sendiri, “Someday, I’ll have my turn too.”

Sometimes, all that you really need is simply a break. Away from your own everyday life. Meet the strangers, get lost in some new places, have some times alone just to figure out the next big thing in life. When you finally find your peace in your getaway, you’ll eventually realize how grateful you are with the life you’ve been living in. At least, that’s exactly what I feel right in this moment.

Thank God for this decent life! Again, I’m beyond blessed! 🙂

This Too Will Pass

One month ago, all of sudden, my life turned upside down. I started to see that I had lost the battle I had been fighting for a while. I thought things would get better anytime soon, but apparently, the past one week was even worse!

In the past one month, I looked at the mirror and I really hated the reflection I saw. I hated the way I looked with all that grief on my face. I lost that sparkle in my eyes, and that genuine smile right on my lips. I lost my hopes; I lost a good reason to wake up and jump off my bed early in the morning. I lost my belief that someday I’d finally get there.

After long months wasted on putting my hopes way too high, I suddenly realized that some things just never meant to be. I woke up from my long sleep and I told myself, “I’ve tried my very best and things doesn’t seem to change. I should love myself and walk away! Enough is enough, and I deserve so much better than this.”

So there I was a lot more determined than I ever did, I pushed myself so hard to let it go. I faked a lot of smiles but deep inside, I felt defeated, unwanted, disappointed and all horrible feelings that could happen to you when your heart was broken. I felt empty and I still couldn’t believe how I’d been wrong about all this. I was freaking tired and I really really wanted to run away.

And there I came to yesterday; another Friday in my life. I actually had some exciting stuffs to look forward to, but somehow, I was hardly excited about anything. I was consumed by my problems and all that I could think of was just wondering what I did so wrong back in the past. I kept feeling sorry for myself, until yesterday night.

I had a lovely night with my colleagues yesterday. Started with a dinner served at the office and had a good laugh, we went to a movie followed by another dinner and another good laugh. And then today, I went to a broadway show with an old friend of mine and ended the night with a sleepover with my sister and her son. My nephew came to pick me up in a restaurant, he smiled and he hugged my waist. And just like that, I knew that I would be just fine. I realized that apart from this heartbreak, I do have a lot of lovely days and nights in my entire life.

I have my families who are always there to support my back. A nephew who never ceases to amaze me. Best friends who never get bored to listen to my similar problems over and over again. Colleagues who end up as a couple of good friends. And on top of all that, I’ve turned myself to a grown-up that I always dreamed of.

I’m living my own dream and I always have those people who accept me just the way I am. How can I ask for more?

It’s true that I didn’t get the one that I really wanted, but I believe, that’s only because it was not the one that I really need. And it’s also true that I’d never get there, but someday, I’ll get somewhere else that I belong. It might take some times, but my wound would heal and I would eventually find my happy ending.

Enough about this problem and now I really look forward to my upcoming China trip! I’m going to visit Alibaba office in Hangzhou and then I’m flying to Guilin over the next weekend! I also met someone from Alipay China who offered to take me to West Lake sometime next week! Another exciting week is about to come! I’ll try to make the most of my trip and I hope, I’ll get over my problem anytime soon!

See? It’s not that bad! I only need to believe that this too, will pass.

Wish you too a wonderful weekend!

My Favorite “What If”

I know that I often said that we should live this life with no regret, we should be grateful for all we have in life, we should be happy for who we are, and bla bla bla. But did you know? Me too, sometimes have some kind of “what if” questions deep in my mind. There’s always some times my mind wandering and wondering how my life would be if I were not who I really am.

What if I chose to work just like many other people who can always leave on time?

What if I just wrote books and blogs and poems for a living?

What if I didn’t say no to – too – many guys back in my past?

What if I didn’t overthink so many things in my whole life?

What if I was not too hard on myself?

What if I stopped being such a perfectionist?

What if I just went on with the flow and followed whatever seemed easy to me?

If I did all that, would my life become any less happier? Would I become any less wiser? Would I become any less better than who I am?

Somehow I know, the answer to all that questions is definitely a yes. I will be a lot less than who I am without all those struggles. I know that the more battles I fight, the more battles I’ll win. But well, I’m only a human anyway. Is it ungrateful if I say that sometimes me too want to have a break from my own life? Is it childish if I say that I want to set myself free for a while? Is it stupid if I say that I want to rest my brain from all the troubles and my heart from all the pains just for a little time?

Seriously, I forget when was the last time I managed to be ignorance, careless, and simply said, “That’s not my problem anyway.”

I forget when was the last time my heart just jumped from one crush to another.

I forget when was the last time my life felt easy, less drama, less chaos, and less stuffs to think about.

I simply really forget how a simple life felt like.

I’ve been spending a couple of weeks asking myself, “If I could turn back the time, would I ever choose to live my life any differently?” This question has really been my favorite what if question recently. I know that the answer is simply a big no, but seriously, I’m really thinking that maybe, it would be good for me to stop being me for a while.

I need a break, a time off, an escape, just for a little while.