One month ago, all of sudden, my life turned upside down. I started to see that I had lost the battle I had been fighting for a while. I thought things would get better anytime soon, but apparently, the past one week was even worse!
In the past one month, I looked at the mirror and I really hated the reflection I saw. I hated the way I looked with all that grief on my face. I lost that sparkle in my eyes, and that genuine smile right on my lips. I lost my hopes; I lost a good reason to wake up and jump off my bed early in the morning. I lost my belief that someday I’d finally get there.
After long months wasted on putting my hopes way too high, I suddenly realized that some things just never meant to be. I woke up from my long sleep and I told myself, “I’ve tried my very best and things doesn’t seem to change. I should love myself and walk away! Enough is enough, and I deserve so much better than this.”
So there I was a lot more determined than I ever did, I pushed myself so hard to let it go. I faked a lot of smiles but deep inside, I felt defeated, unwanted, disappointed and all horrible feelings that could happen to you when your heart was broken. I felt empty and I still couldn’t believe how I’d been wrong about all this. I was freaking tired and I really really wanted to run away.
And there I came to yesterday; another Friday in my life. I actually had some exciting stuffs to look forward to, but somehow, I was hardly excited about anything. I was consumed by my problems and all that I could think of was just wondering what I did so wrong back in the past. I kept feeling sorry for myself, until yesterday night.
I had a lovely night with my colleagues yesterday. Started with a dinner served at the office and had a good laugh, we went to a movie followed by another dinner and another good laugh. And then today, I went to a broadway show with an old friend of mine and ended the night with a sleepover with my sister and her son. My nephew came to pick me up in a restaurant, he smiled and he hugged my waist. And just like that, I knew that I would be just fine. I realized that apart from this heartbreak, I do have a lot of lovely days and nights in my entire life.
I have my families who are always there to support my back. A nephew who never ceases to amaze me. Best friends who never get bored to listen to my similar problems over and over again. Colleagues who end up as a couple of good friends. And on top of all that, I’ve turned myself to a grown-up that I always dreamed of.
I’m living my own dream and I always have those people who accept me just the way I am. How can I ask for more?
It’s true that I didn’t get the one that I really wanted, but I believe, that’s only because it was not the one that I really need. And it’s also true that I’d never get there, but someday, I’ll get somewhere else that I belong. It might take some times, but my wound would heal and I would eventually find my happy ending.
Enough about this problem and now I really look forward to my upcoming China trip! I’m going to visit Alibaba office in Hangzhou and then I’m flying to Guilin over the next weekend! I also met someone from Alipay China who offered to take me to West Lake sometime next week! Another exciting week is about to come! I’ll try to make the most of my trip and I hope, I’ll get over my problem anytime soon!
See? It’s not that bad! I only need to believe that this too, will pass.
Wish you too a wonderful weekend!