A journey to remember

This Too Will Pass

Posted on: August 6, 2016

One month ago, all of sudden, my life turned upside down. I started to see that I had lost the battle I had been fighting for a while. I thought things would get better anytime soon, but apparently, the past one week was even worse!

In the past one month, I looked at the mirror and I really hated the reflection I saw. I hated the way I looked with all that grief on my face. I lost that sparkle in my eyes, and that genuine smile right on my lips. I lost my hopes; I lost a good reason to wake up and jump off my bed early in the morning. I lost my belief that someday I’d finally get there.

After long months wasted on putting my hopes way too high, I suddenly realized that some things just never meant to be. I woke up from my long sleep and I told myself, “I’ve tried my very best and things doesn’t seem to change. I should love myself and walk away! Enough is enough, and I deserve so much better than this.”

So there I was a lot more determined than I ever did, I pushed myself so hard to let it go. I faked a lot of smiles but deep inside, I felt defeated, unwanted, disappointed and all horrible feelings that could happen to you when your heart was broken. I felt empty and I still couldn’t believe how I’d been wrong about all this. I was freaking tired and I really really wanted to run away.

And there I came to yesterday; another Friday in my life. I actually had some exciting stuffs to look forward to, but somehow, I was hardly excited about anything. I was consumed by my problems and all that I could think of was just wondering what I did so wrong back in the past. I kept feeling sorry for myself, until yesterday night.

I had a lovely night with my colleagues yesterday. Started with a dinner served at the office and had a good laugh, we went to a movie followed by another dinner and another good laugh. And then today, I went to a broadway show with an old friend of mine and ended the night with a sleepover with my sister and her son. My nephew came to pick me up in a restaurant, he smiled and he hugged my waist. And just like that, I knew that I would be just fine. I realized that apart from this heartbreak, I do have a lot of lovely days and nights in my entire life.

I have my families who are always there to support my back. A nephew who never ceases to amaze me. Best friends who never get bored to listen to my similar problems over and over again. Colleagues who end up as a couple of good friends. And on top of all that, I’ve turned myself to a grown-up that I always dreamed of.

I’m living my own dream and I always have those people who accept me just the way I am. How can I ask for more?

It’s true that I didn’t get the one that I really wanted, but I believe, that’s only because it was not the one that I really need. And it’s also true that I’d never get there, but someday, I’ll get somewhere else that I belong. It might take some times, but my wound would heal and I would eventually find my happy ending.

Enough about this problem and now I really look forward to my upcoming China trip! I’m going to visit Alibaba office in Hangzhou and then I’m flying to Guilin over the next weekend! I also met someone from Alipay China who offered to take me to West Lake sometime next week! Another exciting week is about to come! I’ll try to make the most of my trip and I hope, I’ll get over my problem anytime soon!

See? It’s not that bad! I only need to believe that this too, will pass.

Wish you too a wonderful weekend!

4 Responses to "This Too Will Pass"

Kak Riffa mau tanya kak.

Saya new hire di EY, namun awalnya kontrak sampai 30 April 2017 dulu. Setelah itu harus interview panel utk menentukan saya diangkat menjadi permanent atau tidak.

Apakah dulu waktu kak Riffa masuk di EY sbg kontrak dulu atau langsung permanen?

Terima Kasih kak..

Nice blog 🙂

Hi Rebecca

Saya juga awalnya kontrak 6 bulan, setelah itu langsung permanen. Good luck yaa! And thanks for visiting my blog!

Oh begitu ya kak 😀
Apakah benar kemungkinan untuk menjadi permanen itu sangat sulit di EY, kak ?

Hi Rebecca

Menurut saya sih, nggak sulit sama sekali kok. Selama sudah bekerja maksimal, tidak mungkin tidak permanen.

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I’m not a funny person. I’m not good at mingle with random people. I’m fierce, I’m a straight-talker, I get annoyed easily, and I have this resting b face that makes me look angry all the times. I’m not that kind of person whom people would miss when I’m not around.
But you know what?
I’m okay with all that flaws I have in me. Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. At the same time; everyone on earth is special, and so am I.
I know my worth. I know what I’m very good at. I know what I want and I work hard to make it happen. I’m a go getter and I fight my battles. I’m not an angel, but I’m not a devil either.
I was born to be the very best of myself, and just because I don’t always have what others have, it doens’t make me less as a person inside out. I’m whole just the way I am, and I’m beyond grateful of all that. I know that my career has been a bit of trouble for my personal life. I admit that it feels like a loss to me sometimes, but you know what? I don’t feel sorry about all that, not a even just a little bit.
My career has given me a comfort bed to sleep, taken me to the places I’ve never seen, brought me to the incredible people who end up as my best friends, and most importantly, it has really made my parents proud. I can sleep tight at night knowing that at least, I can support my parents after their retirements.
The way I see it, there’s nothing bad about all that, so why should anybody in my position feel sorry and less proud about their own hard works?
Don’t let anybody make you feel less than who you are. Make yourself and your loved ones proud, and for me, the rest doesn’t matter at all.
Be great, women! Whatever you choose to do for your own life, be great at it and don’t feel sorry for anything good in your life! Happy International Women’s day and stay awesome! My life has been going great in the past one month. Incredibly busy, but I can’t be happier.
I work my new job during the weekdays and work on my own start-up all over the weekends. It’s tiring and consuming all my energies, but it never feels like a hard work somehow.
I meet many people who are super friendly, I get to work with new challenges that test me every single thing I’ve learned in my entire career, and at the same times, I still manage to pursue my lifetime dream! For the first time ever, I understand how it feels like to love what I do that I never have to work a day in my life.
God, thank YOU for all these blessings! I often said I couldn’t ask for more, yet again, You gave me more and more reasons to be thankful over and over. I’m beyond blessed! Alhamdulillah.

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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