A journey to remember

Daftar Kejelekan DIA

Posted on: December 8, 2008

Karena nyaris desperate gara-gara bingung gimana caranya ngelupain cowok yang gue suka, iseng-iseng gue punya ide untuk bikin daftar kejelekan dari cowok ybs. Harapan gue, menulis dan membaca berulang-ulang daftar kejelekan dia itu bisa bikin gue ilfeel sehingga gue akan ngelupain dia dengan sendirinya. Tapi belum sempat gue menuliskan kejelekan-kejelekan dia, yang ada gue malah flashback dan merenungkan segala hal yang pernah terjadi di antara gue dan dia.

Faktanya, bukan sekali dua kali gue ngelihat sendiri betapa dia sama sekali BUKAN tipe cowok yang gue idam-idamkan. Gue pernah beberapa kali ngerasa syok saat mengetahui kelakuan dan segala sifat aslinya. Setiap gue tengah syok itu pula gue berpikiran untuk segera angkat kaki dari kehidupan dia. Tapi toh faktanya, sampe sekarang gue masih-di-sini dan masih suka memikirkan kelanjutan hubungan gue dan dia ke depannya nanti.

Kenapa begitu? Karena selain segala kejelekan dia, ada juga beberapa sisi positif dari diri dia yang bikin gue males beranjak ke cowok lain. Malah pada akhirnya gue berpikiran, toh setiap cowok punya kekurangan, tapi masalahnya, belum tentu gue bisa menerima kekurangan cowok lain seperti gue bisa menerima cowok ini apa adanya…

Padahal ya, kalau mau dihitung-hitung pake angka, mempertahankan hubungan yang enggak jelas masa depannya seperti ini sebetulnya akan banyak membuang waktu dan tenaga gue. Belum lagi possibility bahwa apa yang gue pertaruhkan itu hanya akan sia-sia belaka… Sampe sini gue kembali berpikir ulang; apa iya segala kelebihan dia itu cukup layak untuk membuat gue bertaruh segila ini?

Tiba-tiba gue teringat sama kejadian beberapa tahun yang lalu. Saat itu gue juga lagi desperate gara-gara selalu aja bolak-balik naksir sama satu cowok yang enggak pernah jelas apa maunya. Gue pun memutuskan buat bikin daftar kejelekan dia yang bisa bikin gue ilfeel. Dan kalo enggak salah, begini isi daftar gue waktu itu…

  1. Dia itu aneh, udah dua kali deketin gue tapi udah dua kali pula ngejauhin gue tanpa sebab yang jelas;
  2. Dia tuh hobi flirting ke begitu banyak cewek di sekitar dia;
  3. Dia itu kalo ngerokok udah kayak cerobong asap;
  4. Dia tuh mantan pacarnya musuh bebuyutan gue. Males banget kalo gue dapet bekasnya cewek nyebelin itu!
  5. (Sampe sini gue mulai bingung apa lagi yang bisa gue tulis). Hmm, dia itu kan kurang ganteng dan kurang tinggi;
  6. (Gue makin bingung mau nulis apa lagi). Oh iya, dia itu hobi gambar pup kerbau… (Sambil nulis gue sambil membayangkan gambar pup yang bertebaran di buku dan tasnya itu… Dan, yang ada gue malah ketawa terpingkal-pingkal!);
  7. (Masih sambil senyum-senyum, gue mencoba menulis point ke tujuh). Duh duh… dia itu pernah ketangkep bawa VCD porno ke sekolah! Dia itu kan terkenal sebagai bandar blue film… (Lagi-lagi gue malah ketawa cekikikan. Yang satu ini emang sangat memalukan, tapi justru kejadian pas sidak (pemeriksaan mendadak) itulah yang bikin dia tambah ngetop di sekolahan);
  8. (Sampe sini gue enggak tau lagi mau nulis apa. Buntu).

So the point is, emang benar bahwa seringkali dalam cinta itu tidak ada logika. Rumus matematika yang paling canggih atau perhitungan akuntansi tentang untung-rugi enggak akan pernah bisa menjelaskan alasan kenapa kita bisa bertingkah gila saat sedang jatuh cinta. Orang yang benar-benar sedang jatuh cinta rela merugi demi mengejar orang yang dia cintai.

Jadi rasanya, kali ini pun ujung-ujungnya akan sama saja; menulis daftar kejelekan dia tidak akan membawa hasil! Mungkin gue perlu pukulan yang lebih telak lagi yang bisa menyeret gue pergi jauh-jauh dari hidup cowok yang satu ini. Atau hopefully, gue menemukan cowok lain yang bisa mengalihkan kegilaan ini dari si dia ke cowok baru yang entah siapa orangnya itu… Kenapa begitu? Karena segila-gilanya, gue masih cukup waras dengan berharap akan menemukan orang lain yang bisa mencintai gue setulus gue mencintai dia…

Ah, orang yang lagi jatuh cinta emang mellow abis, haha…

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11 Responses to "Daftar Kejelekan DIA"

ud fa hajarrrrrrrr. toh lo belom tau klo belom coba. klo cowok dinilai cuma berdasarkan kelakuan, gak bakalan cowok2 yg masuk kategori bad boy jade favorit wanita.
niwei, flirting itu sehat lho. bukannye bermaksud buaya, tp buat gue itu salah satu bentuk sosialisasi sehat, both parties senyum2 gt lho. hihihihihi.
klo mantan itu musuh, kenapa juga lo demen ma doi? remember klo bekas itu means berpengalaman, mentally en physically. u just have to see the bright side.

akhir kata, sejak dahulu, begitulah cinta. Deritanya tiada akhir.

Aduh Stievan… elo udah baca e-mail gue apa belum sih? Masih ganjen aja, hehe… Ah, kata siapa playboy itu favorit wanita? Buktinya gue nggak jatuh hati sama elo tuh, hehe. Tapi gue udah menemukan solusinya… Gue mau coba jalanin tapi for fun aja. Take it easy, and nothing to loose. Tapi nanti kalo gue udah nemuin cowok baik-baik yang sesuai keinginan gue, si playboy itu akan langsung gue tinggalkan, hahaha…

Trus bedanya lo ma gue ape fa?

Ya beda dong… Kalo gue nggak pernah tuh main-main sama cowok yang serius sama gue. Tapi kalo si playboy ini juga kan kayaknya nggak serius sama gue, jadi fair enough dong?

Btw, kok malah jadi elo yang sinis sama statement gue sih, hahaha… Lagian masa’ elo percaya gue tega berbuat kayak gitu? Gue kan cewek baik-baik, gimana sih lo….

yah kali2, lo ketularan fa. ya it’s fair enough si.. well no comment d klo kek gt sob. heheheheh

oooh,upss hahhaaahaaa.
gw uda tau x dr kelas 3.
makanya gw bercandain lu m bom2 biar bs lupa m tu co.
hahahahaa…
rifa rifa.
tambh gila ajah tu mrka b2(gw kagak-msh normal).
mrka uda kerja.bom2 di wika grop,si co tsb daerh dkt kmpud binus lu(bs mampir tuh knynya)hihihihi..

Weits… cowok itu udah jadi masa lalu gue kaliii… Tapi canggih amat lo bisa tau dengan sendirinya. Apa jangan-jangan dulu cowok-cowok Simponi suka ngomongin gue yaa? Hhhh… susah jadi cewek beken, hehe…

wakakakak…gw tau tuh sapa cowo yang lo maksud…hahahah…
seru…
lucu…
seneng gw bca blog lo fa…
setuju gw ma steven
“begitulah cinta deritannya tiada akhir “sering nonton film kera sakti tuh:)
gw tunggu cerita2 lo selanjutnya……….
semoga cita2 lo kesampaian…AMIN ( tau kan…apa yang gw maksud dengan Amin ) hahahaha

nggak,qt cowo2 simponi g prnh gosipin elu kali.
palg gw,gw sih tau y skdr tau doang.pas lu publish.
br gw blng,gw uda tau lama.ngga pa2 x rif.sapa tau jodoh.
dan yg bkin bs dket lu m dy.
dy skrng kerja dibilngn palmerah.
kan dket tuh klo lu msh kos daeh kmpus lu.
hehehhe.dan ini uda dibaca jg m mr x.
dy lgnsg gw ksh tau ada sesuatu yg menarik di blog lu.

Ah… apanya nggak pernah ngomongin gue… Waktu di Subang elo sama anak-anak The Galaw pernah ngebahas isi blog gue ini kan, hehe…

Tapi serius, gue sama Mr. X udah nggak ada perasaan apa-apa. Coba deh elo baca semua isi blog gue ini; I’m in love with someone else. Elo inget nggak waktu itu elo nelepon gue terus ngomong begini, “Gue perhatiin di bulbo elo sering banget nulis soal cinta. Jadi udah nemu orangnya nih?”

Yes, it is definetely not Mr. X and it is still the same guy whom we talked about. Gue lupa waktu itu gue cerita apa aja sama elo, tapi yang jelas, the details were secrets ok?

Buat Mr. X: Gue harap isi tulisan ini nggak nyinggung perasaanlo. It’s only a blast from the past to remember how much I was crazy for you, huahaha. Wish you all the best:)

duh fa……………………………!

semakin banyak lo tulis kejelekan dia perasaan yang lo rasain makin besar cz dengan itu lo semakin dalem ngerti tentang dia

klo gw y gampang aj sih cara ngelupain ryas msh inget kan lo first love gw dl dgn gak ngebiarin fikiran gw ni ngebayangin dia pa lg sampe berfikir keras ttg kejelekan dia

gw berharap lo dpt cwo yg t’baik dimata Tuhan YME

flirting2 donk! turunin type lo sedikit lah siapa tau dengan gitu cwo yg tdnya mo mundur cz ragu diterima pa gak ma lo jd semangat deh bwat ngedeketin lo lg

Ps: LUPAKAN Mr. X DAN BUANG JAUH_JAUH DARI HATI LO!!!!!!!!!

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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