Living as an ugly duckling and having lots of doubts on myself? Been there done that. I was like an ugly duckling inside out so many years back. I know for sure how it used to hurt myself as much as it hurt the people around me. It hurt me in a way it made me feel bad on everything (even the good things!) and it hurt others as I pushed them away, harmed them with the words I said, and it was all only because I was not comfort of being myself.

Do you want me to write you a precise example?

When we believe we are ugly, just one person criticizing our pimples will hurt us badly. Just one critic is enough to make us hate them for speaking up their mind.

When we believe that we are a mediocre, one feedback from the boss will make us feel like we’re losing. We’ll start despising the boss, or maybe, we’ll hate anyone else who’s capable to win the competition.

When we believe that we are not lovable, just one fight will make us walk away. We tend to think it’s better to leave rather than being left behind.

When we believe that we are a loser, we tend to refuse to celebrate our victories. It feels like we’re just being lucky. Or whatsoever.

And what’s even worst, when we believe that our life is full of failures, we may end up hating everyone who seems to be doing so well with their life.

It’s actually okay to feel insecure. When I know I’m insecure on something, I immediately know that I have something to fix, to improve, to work on. Having said that, it’s never okay to let our insecurities hurt the innocent people around us.

Don’t be too comfort with your flaws. It only makes your insecurity scaling up to the higher level. If you know that you’re not comfort with something in yourself, then do something about it.

If you’re a student and you’re ashamed of your GPA, study harder. You may want to learn from the straight A students. They are not magically smarter than you, they only work harder than you do.

If you’re an employee and you’re not proud of your own works, then go asking your boss the things that you can do to improve your performance. Bad mouth your colleague won’t do you any good. It’s only a proof that you don’t deserve any better return from the Company.

If you’re a child, sibling, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife to someone and you don’t feel like you’re loved enough, it’s always okay to ask them how they feel about you. Being cranky, silent treatment, or testing them with this and that will never send them the message. Or maybe, you can tell them that you love them first. If being honest about your feeling scares them away, then why would you want to be with them anyway.

If you’re not comfort with your body size, work out and eat less. If you’re not confident with your pimples, find the cure and get rid of your bad habits. Either find the solution or just live happily with it. Being a hater will never make us any prettier 😉

And if you don’t feel good about your personality, then do something to make you feel better. You know your problems and you know best how to fix it. You only need a strong will and a strong effort to make it happen.

Live your life with your very best efforts on everything. Your happiness, your achievements, and your future all lays on yourself. If you can’t make you feel good about yourself, then nobody can. Stop making excuses and just start with your very first move, starting from now!

Honestly, I used to think that it was okay to let out my rage as much as I want. I must have a good reason to be angry, and I know that deep down, I’m a good person. I am truthful and I never have any intention to harm anyone else. Nobody is perfect, and rage control just happens to be my imperfection. On top of that, being brave, honest, and outspoken has a price to pay and I simply think I can’t always please everyone at everytime. I truly believe that people who really love me will always forgive me and at the end of the day, they will always find a way back to me anyway.

I kept thinking that I had done the right thing until I saw my own thought from the opposite perspective. One thing led to another, I got hurt, and I couldn’t believe that it had just happened to myself. It broke my heart, it made me feel like I’m a total s*** as a person, and I couldn’t stop wondering what I did so wrong that made me deserve to be treated like that. The worst part is that the more I try to let it go and pretend that everything is okay, the more I put pressures on myself and the more I got hurt inside.

At that point, I realize… The truth is, there’s never a good reason to hurt somebody. There’s no good deed that we did that give us right to hurt people that deep. Having said that nobody is perfect, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ve got an excuse to break someone else’s heart. We can’t expect that we can go mad and people will always come back! It’s true that we have a right to say whatever we want to say, but the people whom we hurt, they have every right to refuse to take us back in their life.

Don’t take someone’s pain for granted, because sometimes, they just don’t know how to go back from their own pain. The wound may be healed, but they will never forget how we used to make them feel. Things may never be the same again, even if they try, even if they want to. Don’t hurt someone so much it’s unbearable, especially, when they actually deserve to be treated a lot better than that.

Lately I realize, some people (including myself!) can fake a lot of things in social media. I don’t do it often but when I realize some others are doing this, it gets me thinking, “Why do we do this? And whom are we kidding here???”

People post a lot of romantic pictures with their spouses while actually, they fight nearly all the times with each other.

People seem to have a lot of fun with their friends in their pictures while actually, they were busy with their phones and only got together when they took that cheerful pictures.

People post this and that just to imply they’re so in love while actually, they’re only trying to make their ex jealous, angry, regret their decisions and bla bla bla.

People fake their statuses trying to say how they have moved on from their ex while actually, they only lie to themselves thinking that it will make them look any better.

The way I see it now, we’re more focus on what it seems on social media rather than seeing what actually happens in the real life.

There’s nothing wrong from posting romantic pictures, it’s even can be so cute! But do make sure that you two are happy together too. Make an effort to make that romance happen in your real life!

There’s nothing wrong from taking pictures with your friends, but put down your phones and do actual talks when you’re sitting right next to them. Always make the real memories to be remembered and to be told to your grandchildren!

Having unfinished business with your ex? Just knock their door and tell them everything you always want to say out loud! Good things, bad things, just learn how to close your book properly!

Real life is a lot larger than just a Facebook homepage, Path timeline, and all of those tweets we have posted. When we lie to our social media, we’re actually lying to ourselves. And yes, we’re kidding to ourselves too!

Have fun with your social media, but don’t let you make fun of yourself in your own social media.

I know that I often said that we should live this life with no regret, we should be grateful for all we have in life, we should be happy for who we are, and bla bla bla. But did you know? Me too, sometimes have some kind of “what if” questions deep in my mind. There’s always some times my mind wandering and wondering how my life would be if I were not who I really am.

What if I chose to work just like many other people who can always leave on time?

What if I just wrote books and blogs and poems for a living?

What if I didn’t say no to – too – many guys back in my past?

What if I didn’t overthink so many things in my whole life?

What if I was not too hard on myself?

What if I stopped being such a perfectionist?

What if I just went on with the flow and followed whatever seemed easy to me?

If I did all that, would my life become any less happier? Would I become any less wiser? Would I become any less better than who I am?

Somehow I know, the answer to all that questions is definitely a yes. I will be a lot less than who I am without all those struggles. I know that the more battles I fight, the more battles I’ll win. But well, I’m only a human anyway. Is it ungrateful if I say that sometimes me too want to have a break from my own life? Is it childish if I say that I want to set myself free for a while? Is it stupid if I say that I want to rest my brain from all the troubles and my heart from all the pains just for a little time?

Seriously, I forget when was the last time I managed to be ignorance, careless, and simply said, “That’s not my problem anyway.”

I forget when was the last time my heart just jumped from one crush to another.

I forget when was the last time my life felt easy, less drama, less chaos, and less stuffs to think about.

I simply really forget how a simple life felt like.

I’ve been spending a couple of weeks asking myself, “If I could turn back the time, would I ever choose to live my life any differently?” This question has really been my favorite what if question recently. I know that the answer is simply a big no, but seriously, I’m really thinking that maybe, it would be good for me to stop being me for a while.

I need a break, a time off, an escape, just for a little while.

Lately I realized that I’ve been using this phrase in this blog way too much. But well, I just think it’s so true that I can’t help myself from using it 😉 So here I am rewriting everything using this phrase!

1. Life is too short to be a hater. Hatred will consume YOU, not your enemy. Just get rid of it!
2. Life is too short to be spent with all the things you hate. Do more of the things that you really love! Be very good at it and feel the joy! What if you don’t even know what you would love to do? Try to do the new things in your life! You will never know until you try!
3. Life is also too short to be spent with the job that you hate. Fight yourself to leave your comfort zone and find your dream job! Believe that your dream job is out there waiting for you to get there;
4. Life is too short if you only want to be like someone else in your very own life. Everyone has their own forte, hence if it looks good on them, it doesn’t mean that it would look good on you too. Just learn how to bring out the very best in yourself and start shining on your own way;
5. Life is too short to be cynical. It won’t make you any happier than you were yesterday, so why should you do it in the first place?
6. Life is too short to be spent alone. We should be able to be happy with BOTH of being alone and being with the beloved ones. At the end of the day, spending the whole years just by yourself will eventually kill you inside;
7. Life is too short to be spent with the wrong ones. You will always be too little or too much for the ones who don’t really want you in their lives, and you will never ever be happy to spend your life with them. Move on and spend your life with the ones who embrace you for who you really are!
8. Life is too short to be wasted in useless wars. Pick your battle and save your energy! Not all arguments are worth fighting for;
9. Life is too short to be spent in regrets. It’s okay if you want to look back once in awhile and learn from your past mistakes, but that’s it! Do not miss your future just because your can’t seem to move on from your past. Give yourself a chance for a happy ending;
10. Life is too short to be lazy, and being lazy is boring! Push yourself to do the extra miles. All the best things in life doesn’t come easy! Put more efforts and make your dreams come true!
11. Life is too short to be a coward. Courages will take you to the places you’ve never seen before. Try to do the unimaginable! If someone else can do it, and so can you!
12. Life is too short to always surrender. Sometimes, the universe only wants you to fight harder! In anything in life, tell yourself to always give your very best fight before you give it up;
13. Finally, this is the most important one: life is too short to be unhappy. Life can be so tough, but be happy anyway. Happiness is a work, so work on it! It’s totally your choice to be consumed by the agony or to learn how to dance in the stormy rain.

Which one is better? Single or married? I had a casual chat with a couple of friends that lead me to that question. Most of my friends (on the same age as mine) are married. Which one is happier? This single me or those married friends?

Other people are planning their families. How many children they will have? What would be the best school for them? Their life seems to be well planned! In the same time, the only plan I have for my personal life is like, “Where should I travel next?” And there I go to the places I’ve never seen before. I come home with a lot of beautiful pictures to be gradually uploaded to my Instagram.

Other people have their families to look forward to back at home. In the same time, I come home to an empty room. Working late at night never seems too bad to me. I’m packed with my everyday job during the days, so that I work at nights just to figure out, “What’s next? What can I do better now?” And there I do the extra miles that comes back to me with the extra rewards.

Other people plan out their future carefully. They save for a bigger place to live. A family car.  And their children’s education fund. Their money is well spent! In the same time, I am just still the same old me. Leather handbags and my closet just never seems to be good enough to me. And there I have all the things that I always dreamed of. If I want it, I get it, and I’ll be happy with it.

Other people spend their weekends with the loved ones. The beloved husbands and all those cute kids! Their life seems to be merrier than mine! In the same time, I sleep alone in my room and wake up late. And there I can do all the things I can’t do over the weekdays. I write my blogs. I read new books. I watch my favorite TV shows. Home spa. And all the things I’d love to do to pamper myself.

Other people have a bigger family to spend time with. Their parents in law. Their siblings in laws. They have more houses to be called as home. Isn’t that lovely? In the same time, just like many many years ago, I only have my parents, two brothers, one sister, and my best friends. So there I always have times for them. I’m never too busy for them. I always have time to meet them up and have some fun.

So… which one is better? Single or married? The way I see it, nothing is better than one another. Being single has its own perks, and I love that!

Someday (Insyallah), I’ll get married too. I’ll have a husband to come home to. I’ll have someone to share and plan my life with. I’ll have more people in my families, and I’ll have one or two kids to love and raise. I know I still have to wait, but until then, I will always always live in every single moment of my life. That’s the way I love myself, that’s the way I thank God for this decent life He has given to me.

Single, married, all you need to do is just be happy with your life! Be happy, and nothing else would matter to you.

Happy weekend!