Category: Blog in English

5 Only Things that Matter to Me

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I read somewhere in my social media about 5 important matters in a grown up’s life. I read it and I could really connect to every single word in it. I forgot where I exactly I read the quote but I still remember what I want to write and share in this blog. 

Here we go… five things that matter to me in every relationship I have as a grown up!

Integrity

I’m no longer in the mood of having a relationship where I have to doubt every single sentence they say to me. I need to believe that everything they say is true. I need to believe that the relationship is true. No hidden agenda, no lies, not a fake relationship to begin with.

Consistency

I just think that I’m too old to change my mind back and forth like a teenager and I don’t expect such thing in every relationship I have. We should know where we stand, what we want, and where we’re heading to. 

Stability

There will always be the ups and downs in every relationship, but, a grown up is not supposed to have a relationship where somebody stormed out and took off just like none of it mattered to them. People on my age already have too much of people leaving, all that we need are simply the people who are willing to stay.

Loyalty

It’s always comforting to have someone who’s always there in my corner. Having my back. Support me and endorse me even when they disagree. On top of all that, they are the ones who will stick with me even when things between us are not always pretty. It’s a kind of relationship we need to make us feel anything but lonely.

Honesty

A true relationship is built on honesty. I respect and I cherish the people who are bold enough to tell me the truth. The ones who tell me what they have in their minds. The ones who do not mind to be real, to be vulnerable around me. The way I see it, it’s a sign of the highest level of a comforting relationship. It’s the one that can last for a lifetime.

How Should I Start 2017?

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Okay, today is the first day of 2017. How should I start this year? The first thing came to my mind is to completely let go of things I lost in 2016. What’s done is done, there’s nothing I can do to change that. So here are the things I should do, starting from now!

I have to stop wondering what went so wrong. What I did wrong.

I have to stop asking myself what if I did what I did differently.

I have to stop analyzing if there is anything I can do to make (all those broken) things right.

I have to stop pushing myself to change the things that I can’t change.

And finally, I have to stop pursuing the ones that got away. I have to stop hoping for another chance.

I have spent many months in 2016 to do all that, and now it’s time to stop. Now it’s time to look forward and start the 365 days ahead!

I have a long list to do. I have some places I want to go. I have a lot more dreams to fulfill. And I have no time for the same old drama this year.

2017, here I go!

2016 with Lazada

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2016 at Lazada was literally a lot of things to me. The ups and downs were just unbelievable. Things changed so fast it felt like it was too much for just a year.

It was the year when I was the closest to my team, but it was also the year I had to rebuild my team (nearly) from the scratch again.

It was the year when I told myself that I had found my dream job, but it was also the year when I realized some things had changed and might never ever be the same again.

It was the year when I felt fulfilled, but it was also the year I got swamped and it felt like I hadn’t given my very best to the Company.

It was the year when I met a few incredible colleagues (including a new boss who had been one of the best mentors during my career), but it was also the year I had to deal with a few horrible persons who hurt me so badly.

And finally, it was the year when I was both of the happiest and the saddest in my entire career path. It was the year I claimed some victories, but it was also the year I lost some battles.

Given the crazy downfall, I am still unsure if 2016 at Lazada was a better year than the one I used to have back in 2014, but one thing for sure; I am so grateful that I stayed long enough with this Company. If only I decided to leave, then I might never have all these exciting roles, and I might never meet that one boss who really made me feel appreciated in his own way. And the most important thing, staying one more year at Lazada has taught me this one great lesson in life on how to be a better, bigger, and happier person.

Thanks to Lazada for this one crazy year and I’m still hoping to grow with you at least in a couple of years to come! Happy new year for all Lazadians!

 

Why Do I Want to Get Married?

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Everytime I see a friend who really wants to get married, I will ask them this one question, “Why do you want to get married?” And somehow, I was rarely satisfied with their answers.

“Because at the end, we all have to get married and I’m already in that age.”

“Because almost all of my friends are married.”

“Because I’m not happy being single.”

“Because I envy the married couple.”

Or… “Because my parents told me so.”

I don’t want to judge, it’s their life anyway, it’s just that I will never use the same reason for myself. The way I see it, there is no such a thing like a proper age to get married. Some people are mature enough to get married before 25, but some others are still too selfish for a marriage in their 30’s. I’m also not that kind of person who does something just because everyone does it or just because someone else tells me to do so. I’m happy with my life as it is and I don’t envy someone else’s life.

And then today, I had a long chat with an old friend and it made me ask myself, “Why do I want to get married?”

Okay, now it is my turn to answer my own question… Here are the reasons why I want to get married.

The first reason, I want to have someone who is devoted to share this life with me. I want to have someone who always have my back, someone to share my ups and downs, someone to make life decisions together with me, and someone to be my partner for life. I’ve had enough of people walk out of my life and I really want to have someone who I can rely on for the rest of my life.

The second reason, I want to take a very good care of someone other than myself. People says, it’s a basic female instinct. If you really know me, then it might not sound like me to you, but the truth is, I would really love to play my role as a wife looking after her husband. I want to make sure he lives well, eats right, and I also want him to be happier than he used to be. I simply want to help him to have a better life to live in.

And finally, I want to get married because I know that I will eventually get bored with my life as a single. I really know myself and I know than in the years to come, I will be fed up with similar single problems over and over again. Even right now, I’m already bored with all those random dates and heartbreaks that came with it. Seeing someone new nearly every year is no longer as exciting as it used to be. Settling down with that Mr. Right (I hope he does truly exist, hehehehe) would be all that I really want from now on.

Does that sound like a good reason to get married? I think it is, at least for myself. I really hope that the right person will come along! And of course I also hope, I’m already good enough to be a right person for someone out there. Amiin! 🙂

My (Early) Year End Post

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I have a very mixed feelings about 2016. So many things have happened to me and I can’t believe it all happened only in a year! I know that it may be too early to write this post, but I just can’t wait any longer!

So… what happened to me in 2016?

2016 was the year where I fell in love so deeply. I never thought that I was capable of loving somebody that much! Even if it appeared that I was wrong about it, I still had some great times to remember. Some cute moments that brought smiles to my lips, and a good story to tell even after it all passed and I left it all behind. I moved on not because I wanted to, but only because I had to.

2016 was also a year where I finally felt like I found my dream job. No, I didn’t get any new job; still same company, pretty much the same role, it’s just that I was trusted to do the works that I always wanted for myself. Not an easy one, pretty challenging I would say, bur I definitely love it! I also had a couple of chances to travel around Asia for some business trips plus some vacations over weekend!

I also had some wonderful trips with families and friends in 2016. Umraj trip with my parents (plus a short trip to Turkey afterward), Singapore plus Thailand trip with my teammates (it was definitely trip that I’ll never forget),  Hongkong-Macau with my families (I had a lovely time with my nephew!), and a solo trip to Guilin, China. Which one was the best trip of the year? The Umraj trip, of course. I would never forget how it felt when the tears came to my eyes right when I thanked God for all the blessings I had in my entire life. Somehow to me, it felt like I was coming home.

In 2016, I learned a lot on how to become a better person. A person that I always wanted. The forgiving one. Stay composed and calm even in the hard times (I’m not there yet but I’m making a good progress I think). Less cranky. More patient. And the most important, I leaned a lot more on how to stay happy even when many things in life were going rough. Life would never ever be perfect, but I don’t need to have a perfect life just to have a happy life.

Also in 2016, I managed to reunite with some old friends and it has really made my life a better place to live. Too busy at works should never be a reason for us to be  emotionally apart from each other. We’re not always side by side every single day, but we know that we’ll always be there for each other, even in the middle of the night! The way I see it, that’s the beauty of an having an old friend in life 🙂

What is the highlight of my year? It was my birthday party! It was not perfect, but it was everything I always wanted ever since I was a teenager. My big families were there, my best friends, my colleagues (from all four companies!), everyone in the same room, and what can be better than that? As usual, my little nephew has really made my party even merrier than it could be. Bravo, little kid!

The only nightmare happened to me in 2016 was my struggle to be able to genuinely let go of the things that I should let go. I lost some people that really mattered to me, that really broke my heart, but at the end I realized that it was not me, it was just the way this life worked. People come and go, and it only makes me even more appreciate the ones who choose to stay with me. They don’t have to stay with me with all my flaws, but they do. Somehow, they do.

I’m not quite sure yet if I could tell that 2016 was the best year of my life, but surely it was one of the best years I’ve ever had in life. And the life lessons I earned during the year would always be one thing that I hold onto.

2016… is that all or you still have some surprises you keep? Bring it on!

Thank God for This Long Weekend!

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Having said that I really enjoy my current job, I’m still so grateful for having three days off in a row. I finally got my full recovery after being sick in the past two weeks!

This long weekend also reminded me of the importance of having a me time; just me, myself, and I. Used to have a big problem (at least, it was a big one to me) a few months back and I prevented myself from being alone. Being in the middle of my families and friends have really distracted me and helped me to move on! I spent nearly all weekends going somewhere but apparently, my body was not strong enough for that (not after over 10 hours at work everyday!). So there I went down with stomachache, sore throat, and headache for almost two weeks!

Determined to completely heal from my illnesses, I decided to spend this long weekend just at home. I even canceled my plan to spend the nights at my parent’s home to visit my newly born niece! I just thought that I couldn’t get any closer to that little baby anyway. You know… she’s still very fragile (but I have bought 2 jumpers, 2 rompers, 2 hats, and 2 leggings for her yesterday, hehehehe).

On Saturday, I woke up at 10 AM. I wanted to wake up at noon, but I still had one ongoing system test to be finished very soon. I didn’t have to go to the office for that though. Just my laptop connected to wi-fi would do. Not much I should do for this test so that I could still have my time to nap, eat, and watch my favorite TV shows.

Sunday morning, I felt completely fresh! I had two reports to review, but they could wait! And then I realized I was running out of my serum, make-up remover, soaps, and so many other personal supplies! Oh my God! I was so busy I didn’t make time for groceries shopping! So I went to the nearest shopping mall just to check-out my shopping list. And then I remembered… I had one movie I wanted to watch. So there I want Fallen only to get super bored with the movie, hehehehe.

Back from the second shopping mall (yeah, I had to move to another shopping mall just because the first one didn’t sell my serum no more), I felt very tired again. My body was still not fit enough even just for a half day shopping trip. Not to mention I still had to review those two financial reports last night. Thank God I still had Monday to take some more rest! Too bad I forgot to turn off my weekday alarm so that I still woke up very early in the morning. Sigh.

Around 9 AM, I was completely awake. The first thing popped up on my mind was not about the reports I had to submit (I knew that my team almost finished with his revision already), but it was about the online revolution day! Almost all of my favorite online stores offered the best discount of the year!

So of course, first thing I did on Monday morning, even before having my breakfast, was shopping online. And yeah, I ended shopping a lot of it. Zalora discounts really drove me crazy! I bought 2 party dresses, 3 casual dresses, 1 playsuit, 1 kimono, and a pair of pants with total discounts almost IDR 3millions! Very well done, Zalora! Thanks!

After finishing the payment (I had to do it very soon because some of my selections were the last pieces available!), I went back to Skype group to discuss reporting matters. I was just in time and managed to submit the two reports on time. Yaaay! And one more thing. There was one outer at Shopatvelvet that I really wanted but it was sold out online and I couldn’t find it in the offline store either, and then out of the blue, that outer was available online again! Just one last piece, I grabbed it very fast, and I finally got it! I intentionally went back to that online store hoping that someone canceled their order and somehow I was right! This is indeed my lucky shopping day!

Done with the report (and the online shopping, hehehehe), I took a nap and woke up at 5 PM. Then I made up my room, wrote my blog, replied a few e-mails and discussed over Skype with a colleague who came to the office just to finish an urgent project. Right at this moment, I feel like I’m so fresh and ready to to go back to work!

What do I learn from this long weekend?

  1. I’m lucky to have three direct reports who are willing to meet the deadlines even if it’s weekend and national holiday; and
  2. It’s important to bond with my families and friends, but it’s also important to bond with myself. Give myself a break, a me time, and to take some rest.

We still have more than two weeks in 2016 and I really hope I can make the very best of it! Bring it on!

My Birthday, from Morning to Evening

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This morning, my phone woke me up. It buzzed nearly every second all mornings. Notifications from Whatsapp, LINE, Skype, Facebook, Path, even Linkedin kept coming to my phone. And yes, it was because today is my birthday. 🙂

It surprised me how many birthday wishes I had all day today. It’s a lot more than I used to get last years. Not only close friends and families, but also colleagues across the countries, old friends that I haven’t met for quite some times, and some other people that I never thought would care about my birthday. And did you know what’s even better? All people that I expected to text me did actually text or call me just right in time. None of the people those matter to me forget my birthday today, hehehehe.

When I just arrived in the office, an ex-colleague called me for a few minutes and we had a good laugh, as we always do. I’m so excited that I will meet her very soon in my birthday bash this weekend! And then exactly at 11 AM today, my Dad texted his birthday wishes along with some pictures of me when I was still a little baby. My parents looked so young in those pictures, and I looked so tiny in their arms! These pictures were heartwarming to me, somehow. Looking at those picture made me feel (more) blessed and grateful for the life that I live in. My life has never been easy even since I was a little kid, but it’s always always worth living.

And then after I was back from lunch with the MC who’s going to host my party, I found a wrapped box with a post-it on top of it right on my desk. My party is still three days away and I already received this early gift! And actually, I already received three other early birthday presents from my friends even since one month ago! Ahh, how can’t I love my own birthday? Hehehehe.

My phone kept ringing once in a while all day today, so there I decided to go to the coffee shop downstairs just to reply my texts (oops, I’m sorry for this, Boss! In case you read this, hehehehe). I spent 10 minutes replying all those texts until my phone rang. Sarah from my team called asking me to go upstairs for an urgent matter related with the MC. Oh well, somehow I knew she had prepared a birthday cake for me and she was waiting in the canteen with all other team members, hehehehe.

And of course I was right! When I entered the canteen, everyone was singing and Sarah gave me my birthday cake. I blew the candles, made the first cut, and gave the first cake to Rian (and it was only because he was craving for the cake so badly, hehehehe). Then as usual, we took some pictures and exchanged jokes with each other. Thanks for making time to prepare this, guys! I know you were all super busy today! You know… it’s closing time for the finance team everywhere!

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Today, someone in my team asked me, “How does it feel to be 30?”

I didn’t deliver any good answer back then, but now, I have prepared the real good answer (at least I hope it’s a good one!). How does it feel to be 30? It feels like I have won the first round of my life. People says that 20’s will determine a lot of things in the future to come, and I do think that I have made the most of my 20’s. The ups and downs, the rights and wrongs, the tears and laughter, all of it have made me the one whom I always dreamed of. I’m grateful for every moment of my life, I’m even grateful for the mistakes that I ever did. Thanks to all those wrong turns I took, they have finally led me to where I am right now; to the place that I belong.

Yes, being 30 is scary in a way it makes me realize that I should really start a new phase in my life. I can’t be forever alone, but am I ready to share my life with someone for the rest of my life? Being 30 also pushes me to do something a lot better that I already did when I was younger. Given that I have achieved a pretty high bar in my 20’s, the next targets would be a lot more challenging to achieve. Just yesterday I told myself, “I know what’s next, but I’m not yet sure if I’m ready for it.”

But… hey… What’s the rush here? This is just my first day being thirty! Relax! If God gives me a chance to live longer, then I will still have plenty of times to make my wishes come true! If I could do it back in my 20’s, then insyallah, I can try to find a way to make my dreams happen in my 30’s too.

And finally… I want to share with you the biggest achievement I’ve made just a moment before I turned thirty: I learned how to sincerely forgive and let go of the things that are not meant to be. I’m also so proud that I’m never too tired to push myself to be a better one, I never lose my faith in humanity, and I’m really proud that I could remain as a happy person after every loss and failure I had over the first thirty years of my life.

Thank you everyone for the prayers, for being a part of my life (be it for years or just a little while), and for my blog readers, thanks for reading and motivating me to keep writing for you!

I’m gonna stop writing this long post and back to work! Hehehehe.

Wish you all a wonderful night!

Everything I Always Wished for in My Career

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Last night, a friend from Ernst & Young (EY); my first full time employer, got married. Unlike any other wedding party, I was a little bit nervous on my way to the wedding venue. I was going to meet the people in my first professional job. Even though I only worked for EY less than three years, my short tenures with this Company was still a major contributor in my career achievements.

Working for EY has taught me how to be tough. You may be tired and lack of sleep, but deadline is deadline anyway.

I learned how to be confident and went talking to the clients even though I was just a fresh graduate (read: a newbie).

I also learned how to build a decent working paper, how to solve accounting problem efficiently, and some other survival kits you need to fight on finance and accounting battlefield.

I even still remember some of my seniors’ advice:

  1. Not documented, not done;
  2. Do not let anything pending on you. It has to be pending on someone else, always; and
  3. Fake it until you make it.

And did you know? I would never get my jobs at the two companies after EY if I didn’t have working experience at EY written in my CV.

Resigning from EY was another milestone of my life. I loved the Company, I loved my team, but I just couldn’t stand working as an auditor. I used to tell my teammates this and that about my dream job and then I truly left. I knew, I just knew, auditing was not made for me.

It’s been more than five years since I left EY and almost everyone in my former audit team have left EY as well. And then last night, I met them again. I only stayed in touch with a few of them and it was really nice to meet many familiar faces from the past again!

Most of my friends came to the party with their spouses and kids, of course. Intimidating? Apparently not! None of them asked me when I would get married, and nearly all of them asked me about my career instead. We talked about how I liked my current job, my bosses who really trust me to run the Company, and the most discussed topic was about my business trips (they know how much I love traveling). Last night, the more I realized… I’ve got everything I always wished for in my career.

Finding in a dream job is pretty much the same in finding myself. I’ve got to try everything the Company can offer to me, the ups and downs, learn from the mistakes and restart from the scratch again. And then when I find “the one”, it does really make my life feel complete. I know what I want, what I’d love to do more, I know where to keep up and where to improve myself.

People says that I’m already good at my job, but the truth is, I’m still learning. I still have a lot of flaws that I’ve got to work on. Having said that, it’s still nice to know that I’m already on the very right track. It’s nice to know that I left EY for something better; for a brighter future, for a path toward my dream job. Insyaallah! 🙂

Staying or leaving your current job, either way is okay, as long as you know that you would do awesome in whichever decision you make.

Someone Who Loves You

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Did you know? Someone out there, explicitly or secretly, love you sincerely with all they have.

They believe in you even when there’s no one else does.

They see the good things in you that no one else can see.

They’ll always stand by you even when no one seems to understand their feeling for you.

They miss you, care about you, prioritize you when everyone else gets busy with their life.

They make time for you. For your stories. They cherish every moment they share with you.

Your dreams are their dreams. They are your very best supporter. They’re always there, right in your corner.

They are hurt when you’re hurt. They don’t laugh when you stumble and fall. They mean it when they say you never need to be alone.

And did you know?

They mention your name, repeatedly, in their prayers.

Even when you hurt them so badly, they still wish for nothing but the best for you.

When they let go, they still hope all the best for you, and your future to come.

Most of the times, it takes courage just to love somebody. They put their heart on the line just to let you know how much they love you. And when somebody loves you selflessly, they will always put you before themselves. They compromise, over and over again, just to keep their love alive.

Don’t you see? You should be thankful that you do have someone who loves you that much. Being in love is a choice, but being loved by someone else is a privilege. It’s a bless.

Love them back in a way that they deserve, or if you can’t, at least, do treat them with some respects. You’re not completely who you are without having the ones who love you, with all your flaws, genuinely and unconditionally.

The Little Things I’m Happy About

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People says that happiness comes from the little things and lately I find it definitely true! You don’t need to have a big reason in life just to be happy.

To me, in the past one month, happiness was when I…

  1. Received a voice note from my nephew after one long day at work;
  2. Met a pleasant taxi or Uber driver and had a nice chat along the trip;
  3. Ordered a mineral water from a Gojek driver (it’s only because I’m too lazy to walk to the pantry upstairs, hehehehe) but apparently, the café only sold the food. Then the driver went somewhere else just to buy the water for me (without being asked!);
  4. Met an old friend’s Mom and she said that I looked 5 years younger than I was, hehehehe;
  5. My friend’s son called me “the pretty Aunty” 😉
  6. My best friend asked her boyfriend if he knew someone potential to be my date (she hasn’t got one but I appreciate the effort, seriously, hehehehe);
  7. Planned a birthday bash next month and a few friends helped to connect me with some contacts to make it happen;
  8. Had new lunch mates (I have known them for a while though) and we had a couple of good laughs during the meals;
  9. Bought a pretty dress with size M (because it was the last size remained) and my Aunty offered to fix the size for me, and for free, hehehehe;
  10. One of my ex-best employees told me that she had returned to Jakarta and she was interested to join my team again!
  11. My birthday is one month away but I already received two gifts from my friends;
  12. Had a bad day and an office mate offered to have coffee and chat at 24 hours café. We went home at 2 AM and I felt a lot better;
  13. My sister was so pissed when I was hurt. I just knew that no matter what happened, I would always have someone in my corner;
  14. Sleep tight and eat a lot! My appetite is back!
  15. Received a few texts from my friends asking if things got better recently. Their texts have made my days better already 🙂

I have a lot of problems, I know, but I also have a lot more blessings to celebrate.

Wish you all a wonderful weekend!