A journey to remember

Do We Need a Backup Plan in Love?

Posted on: January 30, 2016

Pernah ada seorang teman yang menyarankan supaya gue juga punya backup plan untuk urusan cowok. Apa yang dia maksud dengan backup plan? Semacam cowok ‘cadangan’ just in case gue enggak berhasil mendapatkan gebetan yang gue suka. Pertanyaannya sekarang, “Do I really need that?

Omongan si teman itu awalnya hanya gue anggap sebagai angin lalu. It sounds like a crazy plan to me. Sampai kemudian, tiba-tiba gue sadar dengan sendirinya… Gue sendiri pun, satu atau dua kali sebelumnya, pernah melakukan yang namanya backup plan untuk urusan cinta-cintaan.

Kenapa gue melakukan hal itu?

Karena gue enggak yakin hubungan gue dengan si gebetan ‘inti’ akan jadi kenyataan. Gue enggak yakin dia juga punya perasaan yang sama kayak gue.

Dengan adanya backup planat least, hidup gue enggak sedih-sedih banget. Jadi ada hiburan yang bisa bikin gue lebih cepat melupakan rasa sedih akibat patah hati.

Kemudian ada juga yang bilang, hadirnya si cowok ke dua bisa membuat si cowok pertama jadi merasa ‘terpancing’. You know… Guys’ competitive instinct; they will work even harder when they know they have a competitor.

And finally, a backup plan could save a little bit of my remaining dignity after being ‘rejected’ by the one whom I really wanted.

Jika demikian, apa benar berarti backup plan itu wajib hukumnya?

Baru-baru ini, ada satu kejadian yang bikin gue jadi malu sendiri. Singkat cerita, gue jadi bertanya-tanya sama diri gue sendiri, “Bagaimana kalau gue sendiri yang dijadikam ‘cadangan’ oleh orang lain? Will I be happy with that?”

Senangkah gue saat tahu cowok yang rajin telepon gue itu nantinya akan berhenti cari-cari gue setelah berhasil mendapatkan cewek impiannya itu?

Senangkah gue saat tahu cowok yang dinner date sama gue itu juga pergi nge-date dengan cewek lain dalam waktu yang hampir bersamaan?

Bisakah gue mempercayai omongan manis cowok yang bisa jadi juga mengucapkan gombalan yang sama persis kepada gebetan-gebetan dia yang lainnya?

Dan apa kabar harga diri gue kalau gue sampai tahu bahwa gue hanya satu dari sekian orang lainnya dalam hati dia?

What makes he think he can do that to me? Who does he think he is?

If I don’t like being treated as an option, then why should I treat other people like that? I don’t want to be just an option, not even the number one option, I want to be the only one. 

Beda orang bisa jadi beda pendapatnya. And it doesn’t matter if you still find its necessary to have a backup plan. Yang penting buat gue, kalo gue enggak suka diperlakukan sebagai ‘option‘, jangan pula menempatkan orang lain dalam posisi yang sama!

Lalu bagaimana jika nanti kita tidak berhasil mendapatkan gebetan yang kita inginkan itu?

Well, we’re a grown up, aren’t we? Just man up and deal with it! Don’t play with fire if you’re afraid of getting burned, don’t fall in love if you’re afraid of getting hurt.

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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