A journey to remember

Let Life Surprise Me

Posted on: February 4, 2016

A few nights ago, I went home to my kost place and found something that froze me for a while. I looked at an empty shoe rack and smiled alone. And just like that, it reminded me to many random memories on how life could be so unpredictable sometimes. I may be known for having a strong guts feeling on anything, anything… but my own love life.

I still remembered over fifteen years ago, I had to join a Yogyakarta tour for my final exam at IEC. My classmates had joined the previous trip so that I had to go there alone. I told myself that night before departure, “That’s okay… Who knows I would be in the same group with a cute guy? And he would be my first boyfriend!” And I was right… that night in that bus, I met my first love. But then I was wrong… He only thought of me as a fourteen years old kid. My first love ended as my first heartbreak.

One year later, I met a new guy in high school. The time was not right in the beginning, but I believed someday we would be together because for so many reasons, it seemed like we were meant to be. But then again, I was wrong. Now everytime I looked back, I couldn’t help but wondering, “How could I fall that deep for this guy?”

Many years after that, I met a guy in the office and for the first time ever, right at our first met, I looked at him and it just crossed my mind, “This guy is going to be my soulmate.” We did have a chance, but we didn’t make it until the end. Right after that, I gave up. I no longer trust my own guts when it comes to love. People says when you know, you know. Yet somehow, I just never know!

The funny thing is that, my guts feeling is rarely wrong on many other things in life.

I knew that I would succeed my career. I used to write down what I wanted to be in my 20’s, and here I am… 29 years old and pretty much living my own dream.

I knew that my younger sister would get married before me and I would have a loveable nephew or niece from her. And I was right. Now I’m a happy auntie for my beloved 3.5 years old nephew.

I also knew that unlike many others, my friendship with a classmate back in college would last long, and here we are… we’ve been friends for 12 years and still counting.

I knew it all, but I never know how my love life would end.

Back to my kost place, so I just moved into that place around 4 months ago. I used to have an imagination that I would live right next to a cute neighbor. And then we would get to know each other. And then I would have finally found my Mr. Right!

It sounds stupid, I know… but you know what? I was indeed having a cute neighbor right next to my door! We ran into each other in some chances but we never managed to get to know each other. I always thought that I would always have another chance to say hi. And then 2 nights ago, after leaving the kost for 2 weeks for my Umrah trip, I went back to that place and I was frozen seeing his empty shoe racks. He had moved out even before I knew his name.

So there I was, 2 nights ago… Standing alone, looking at an empty shoes rack, and bitterly smiled to myself. I’m always wrong about this one.

That empty shoe racks moment was actually not about that guy next door at all. It was merely about being tired for being wrong all the times. Having the same disappointments over and over again was just frustrating to me. It was frustrating, until last night, an officemate showed me a post on her Facebook. That picture on her phone says, “Sometimes you fall in love with the most unexpected person and the most unexpected time.”

So there I smiled again…

Maybe, that’s how I’m going to get my happy ending. It’s not gonna be someone I have in mind, not someone I mention repeatedly in my prayers, and maybe, not anytime soon like I want it to be. I may never see it coming, but it will come! Sooner or later, all of that past disappointments would only make a perfect sense. And if I think about it again, my life would be less interesting if I can always predict anything that will happen to me, wouldn’t it?

Hence I guess for this one, just let life surprises me. So life, bring it! 😉


2 Responses to "Let Life Surprise Me"

Hi Riffa,

Suka deh dgn kepedean kamu yg bilang having good feeling on anything. 🙂
Boleh tau kl numbuhin good feeling untuk tempat kerja baru yang kita yakin bisa berkembang gimana ya ?

Jujur aja, aku ini karirnya stuck, gampang sih dapet kerja tp pas join kok ngerasa ada yang kurang, yg makin hari aku yakini bukan karena kurang bersyukur tp mungkin krn gak ada good feeling (klik) itu.

Aku sebenernya bukan tipe yg obsesi atau main goalnya promosi jabatan, aku cuma pengen kerja dengan senang hati karena
tau kerjaan kita itu bisa bikin kita berkembang secara teknik dan soft skill, sehingg peningkatan gaji dan posisk mengikuti ?
Aku capek banget “settle for less” untuk urusan karir, apalagi taun ini umurnya 30 juga. Hehehehee

Makasih ya jawabannya. Allah yang balas

Hi Widia

Hehe… sebenernya yang aku maksud lebih ke feeling/insting soal ke depannya akan seperti apa siih.

Kalo soal klik atau enggak klik, sebetulnya kerja di mana pun pasti akan ada up and down-nya. Malah sebetulnya, pekerjaan yang baik untuk kita tahun ini belum tentu baik untuk kita di tahun berikutnya. But you made a good point! Yang penting itu self development, gaji dan posisi otomatis mengikuti. So find a job that enables you to evolve yourself! Good luck yaa!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

My Blog Counter

  • 951,650 visits since May 2011

My Blog Categories

My Blog Archives

Click the pictures below to visit my Instagram...

Life took me to many unimaginable people. The super kind, the selfless, the brave men, and of course, the mean and rude people, cheaters, liars, hypocrites, extremely arrogant, and all other qualities that got me thinking, “I never thought such people like these do exist!”
But I’ve also come to learn that sometimes, there is a bright side of the darkest people I know. They’re not always good, but they’re not always bad either.
At the end of the day, it helps me to define the people I can bear and the people I can’t stand. And most importantly, it helps me to decide the person I would like to become. I’m not a funny person. I’m not good at mingle with random people. I’m fierce, I’m a straight-talker, I get annoyed easily, and I have this resting b face that makes me look angry all the times. I’m not that kind of person whom people would miss when I’m not around.
But you know what?
I’m okay with all that flaws I have in me. Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. At the same time; everyone on earth is special, and so am I.
I know my worth. I know what I’m very good at. I know what I want and I work hard to make it happen. I’m a go getter and I fight my battles. I’m not an angel, but I’m not a devil either.
I was born to be the very best of myself, and just because I don’t always have what others have, it doens’t make me less as a person inside out. I’m whole just the way I am, and I’m beyond grateful of all that. I know that my career has been a bit of trouble for my personal life. I admit that it feels like a loss to me sometimes, but you know what? I don’t feel sorry about all that, not a even just a little bit.
My career has given me a comfort bed to sleep, taken me to the places I’ve never seen, brought me to the incredible people who end up as my best friends, and most importantly, it has really made my parents proud. I can sleep tight at night knowing that at least, I can support my parents after their retirements.
The way I see it, there’s nothing bad about all that, so why should anybody in my position feel sorry and less proud about their own hard works?
Don’t let anybody make you feel less than who you are. Make yourself and your loved ones proud, and for me, the rest doesn’t matter at all.
Be great, women! Whatever you choose to do for your own life, be great at it and don’t feel sorry for anything good in your life! Happy International Women’s day and stay awesome!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

%d bloggers like this: