A journey to remember

Because Finally, Life is a Solo Trip

Posted on: June 23, 2013

Seperti yang gue tulis sebelumnya, salah satu harapan gue dari solo trip ke Bangkok minggu lalu adalah kepingin punya me time, supaya gue bisa berpikir lebih jernih tanpa terdistorsi omongan-omongan orang lain tentang hidup yang gue jalani. Harapan gue, saat pulang, stres gue sudah hilang, hati gue lebih lapang, dan gue mulai bisa menyelesaikan rentetan masalah gue, satu per satu.

Lalu bagaimana hasilnya? Berhasilkah?

Selama di Bangkok, boro-boro gue punya waktu untuk merenung. Waktu gue sebagian besar habis untuk belanja, makan, belanja lagi, nonton show, abis itu belanja lagi… Bahkan saat sedang duduk di dalam skytrain pun, otak gue selalu sibuk dengan berbagai hal. Sibuk mengamati gaya berpakaian orang Thailand, sibuk mengamati pemandangan di luar jendela, sibuk mikir nanti di blog gue mau nulis apa, atau tentu saja, sibuk berpikir, “Ini gue nggak nyasar kan ya? Nggak salah ambil kereta? Stasiun yang gue tuju udah kelewatan belum ya?”

Seriously, I had no time to think about my problems, not either the reality I had to face after the trip was over. I really enjoyed every minute of it. Bahkan saat nyasar pun, gue sibuk berpikir, “Ah, sial, gue salah pilih hotel! Hotel yang ini kelihatan lebih mewah, atau hotel yang itu lebih deket ke stasiun skytrain…” Atau itu tadi, sibuk merangkai kata dalam kepala soal petunjuk jalan yang akan gue sharing di blog supaya para pembaca nggak bakal nyasar kayak gue, hehehehe.

Barulah saat hari terakhir gue di Bangkok, saat gue duduk diam di dalam taksi menuju bandara… gue kembali teringat, bahwa masa ‘hibernasi’ gue akan segera berakhir. Gue pun mulai sibuk memikirkan langkah-langkah yang harus gue ambil. Dan anehnya, solusi yang muncul di kepala gue sebetulnya masih sama dengan solusi yang pernah terlintas di benak gue sejak jamannya masih di Jakarta. Lho, kalo begitu sih, gue tetep nggak dapet inspirasi apa-apa dong dari perjalanan gue itu?

Pada titik itulah gue menyadari… solo trip tidak akan mengubah keadaan. Pergi liburan tidak akan mengubah sikap orang-orang yang menyakiti perasaan gue. Tidak pula membuat mereka jadi bisa memahami isi hati gue. Orang-orang juga akan tetap selalu sibuk dengan komentar-komentar mereka. Dan apapun yang memang ditakdirkan untuk terjadi, suka tidak suka, siap tidak siap, akan tetap terjadi dan akan tetap harus gue hadapi.

However, since everything happens for a reason, at least that solo trip has made me learn that whatever happens in life, I will always survive even if I’m all alone. Gue pun kembali teringat dengan mimpi-mimpi yang belum berhasil gue wujudkan, dan teringat bahwa pada dasarnya, gue hanya bisa mengandalkan diri gue sendiri untuk meraih semua impian itu. Sama seperti Bangkok trip gue… Gue kepingin liburan, tapi nggak ada satupun teman yang bisa diajak pergi dadakan. I wanted this so bad, so if I had to go there by myself, then be it. Lalu hasilnya? It was one of the best trips in my whole life.

Gue bersyukur punya begitu banyak sahabat yang mengisi perjalanan hidup gue. Terkadang saat melihat betapa baiknya mereka sama gue, gue suka bertanya-tanya di dalam hati, “What kind of good deeds I’ve ever done that makes me deserve this?” But again… no matter how many great people I have around me, there is still some times when everything I have is simply just me. All those dreams, my future life, the way I live my life… it all depends on me. Yes, it’s all on me, because finally… life is a solo trip.

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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