5 ‘Mantra’ Andalan

Sebelum gue mulai, jangan salah sangka dulu yah… Mantra yang gue maksud di sini bukan mantra sihir atau guna-guna, tapi kalimat andalan yang sering gue bilang sama diri gue sendiri di saat-saat tertentu. Semacam kalimat penyemangat buat diri sendiri kali yaah.

Nah, berikut ini, daftar mantra andalan gue:

Semua badai pasti berlalu, pasti…

Ini kalimat yang pernah dua kali gue jadikan status Facebook, plus sering gue sebutkan dalam hati, saat gue sedang melewati masa-masa yang luar biasa sulit. Kadang di saat panik dan tertekan, gue suka lupa bahwa semua kesulitan itu pasti akan berlalu, dan hanya dengan mengingat semua itu nantinya akan berlalu, selalu bikin gue jadi lebih tenang.

God will give the best way out, just right in time…

Nah, kalimat yang ini biasa gue ucapkan kalo udah mulai nggak sabaran… kenapa sih, doa gue masih belum dikabulkan sama Tuhan? Kalimat ini merupakan upaya gue untuk kembali percaya bahwa Tuhan akan memberikan jalan keluar yang terbaik buat gue, tepat pada waktunya.

Whatever will be, will be…

Kalo pada akhirnya gue mulai pasrah, udah mulai nyerah, ini dia kalimat andalan gue… Ada kalanya, sekeras apapun gue berusaha, tetap ada hal-hal yang tidak akan pernah bisa gue kendalikan. Jadi ya sudah… apa yang akan terjadi, terjadilah.

I want to be a big girl so that I can be a big person…

Ada kalanya, tidak peduli sekeras apapun gue berusaha, hasil kerja keras gue itu belum tentu diapresiasi oleh orang lain. Malah entah kenapa, semakin ke sini semakin banyak aja orang yang senang meremehkan pencapaian yang gue punya. Kadang rasanya gue pengen marah, pengen ngebales rasa sakit hati gue, tapi gue selalu bilang sama diri gue sendiri… gue harus belajar berbesar hati. Gue punya banyak doa, karenanya gue sangat ingin jadi orang yang pantas dikabulkan segala doa-doanya. I do really hope that I could be a big girl who deserves to be a big person.

Someday I’ll live the life I’ve been dreaming of…

Belakangan ini, gue sering ngerasa karier gue stuck di situ-situ aja. Ada pula beberapa hal yang bikin gue ngerasa, “I deserve much better than this!” Kalo cuma mau nurutin emosi, gue bisa aja kabur secepatnya. Tapi masalahnya, my dream is much bigger than that! Gue punya mimpi besar yang perlu upaya luar biasa keras dan waktu yang sangat lama untuk bisa sampai ke sana. Makanya, di saat-saat seperti ini, gue selalu bilang sama diri gue sendiri… “Sabar… suatu hari, gue pasti bisa menjalani hidup sesuai impian.”

It’s difficult… but doable…

Gue nyadar banget bahwa prinsip-prinsip gue itu susahnya setengah mati buat diwujudkan… It’s so hard to live with principal and idealism like this. Tapi gimanapun gue percaya… kita harus menetapkan standar setinggi-tingginya supaya sejatuh-jatuhnya nggak bakalan jatuh banget. Besides, it doesn’t feel like me if I don’t fight for my own principal. Segala sesuatu yang baik itu biasanya memang susah untuk dijalankan, tapi jika hasilnya bisa bikin gue jadi orang yang lebih baik, kenapa tidak? Memang susah, tapi tidak mustahil! 

Someday I’ll Know

Someday I’ll know…

The reason behind your attention in tiniest details of my life.

The reason behind your cute jealousy once or twice in our history.

The reason why you always listened to every word I ever said.

The reason why you always tried to comfort me.

Until finally… the reason why you suddenly walked out of my life.

 

You used to be my day.

You were the one I told everything I knew.

I knew you like you were a best friend.

But now… you are only somebody that I used to know.

Then again… someday I’ll know what turned us becoming strangers.

Someday I’ll know I was right or wrong.

 

Maybe I took you wrong.

Maybe you only wanted to become a good friend.

But maybe I was right…

Maybe it’s true that I did something wrong.

I did something which killed what you felt inside.

 

Many times have passed me by.

Sometimes I wish I could forget you like you never existed.

But most of the time… deep in my heart… I’m still wondering.

What if I never pushed you away everytime I was afraid?

What if I tried harder?

What if I never let you go?

But once again… someday I’ll know the answers for those questions.

 

I do always wish nothing but the best for you.

I will always remember you as somebody whom I used to love.

Maybe our path will never get crossed again.

Maybe we’ll find our own happily ever after with someone else.

Maybe I will never hear your voice,

Not either seeing your face no more.

But one thing for sure…

I do still believe that someday I’ll know…

Someday I’ll know what we used to have.

And someday, I’ll also know the reason why we never meant to be.

 

someday-someone-will-walk-into-your-denver-wedding-inspiration

Dear God

Dear God;

Today I have something to ask… I would like to humbly ask for Your guidance.

My dear God… please help me to see my mistakes, clearly, as well as I could easily see other people’s mistakes.

Please God… don’t let me take a wrong direction. Don’t let me make a decision when I’m angry. Don’t let anything or anyone cloud my own judgment. Please guide me to always do the right things in my life.

Please let me being surrounded by good people. I may be someday in the same places with the bad guys, but please God… don’t ever let me being a part of them. Protect me from their influences and don’t ever let me think it’s okay to do those horrible things just because they do it all the times.

God… thank you for the decent life You have given to me. Please keep me away from being greedy, from taking the pennies I don’t deserve, and from worship money beyond everything. Please bless me for everything I do to earn my life, my dreams, my future.

My dearest God… as I do always try to be a good person, then I believe You already have a good man to stay with me for the rest of my life. I may fall for the wrong ones sometimes, but please God, don’t let me be blinded continuously. Kindly wake me up and give me strength to walk away.

If I finally have found my Mr. Right, please give me strength to hold on, to never give up on him, to love him and cherish every moment with him until my last breath. When hard times come to us, please do remind me to the very first days I fell in love and to every single day which ever made me want to be with him for eternity.

Dear God… you are the One who knows all of my flaws. I don’t always fulfill my promises to You, missed my Prayer to get close to You, I make mistakes, I hurt the people whom I love, but at the end of my life, I only want to be remembered as a good person. So please… I’ll always need You to guide me walking on the right path. Maybe someday I’ll get lost, but please… do always give me a way back home.

 

With love;

Riffa.