Category: Blog in English

We Have the Rest of Our Lives to Be Awesome!

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Got bored at home and I ended up browsing the pictures my friends liked on Instagram. Then there I found a beautiful picture of a girl on the beach. I thought she was a girl, but apparently, she was a 50 something woman and a mother of three! I scrolled down her Instagram account and her pictures had really awed me! She always looks stylish, pretty, and that perfect body! It’s so perfect that I thought she might have had some jobs done, hehehehe.

Looking at her glamorous pictures made me realize that we wouldn’t need to be 20 something just to be awesome. We have the rest of our lives to be as awesome as we are! We can always dress up, wearing heels, put some make up and take a lot more stunning photographs as long as we’re still breathing! So why should we all be worried of growing old?

Honestly, getting closer to 30 has terrified me a little bit. I love being 20’s. The past ten years have been the greatest years of my life! I love seeing what a changed person I am, and I like it when people look me in the eyes, and they tell me, “And you’re still so young!” It feels good to win the things I’ve won, and it feels even better knowing that I can get there at this age! I’m honestly worried all that glorious feeling will pass as I get older. I’m also worried that someday, I won’t look attractive no more, hehehehe.

Looking back to the past 10 years, the only reason why I’m capable to live my dream is that I worked hard to earn every little thing in my life. I studied hard, worked even harder, I even had to put a lot of works just to stay happy with my life! I’ve also put a huge effort to make myself a better person than I was yesterday. If I can do it at my 20’s (when I was still young, naïve, and a little bit stupid sometimes), what makes me think that I can’t do the same thing at my 30’s?

So thanks to that stunning woman on Instagram (I forgot her name already), I’ve started to see a lot more perks of getting older. I hope, I’ll be wiser and I’ll be having more of the things I’ve always dreamed of! I also hope that later on, people will look at me in the eyes, and they tell me, “Wow, you look fabulous for your age!” 😉

Stay awesome, no matter how old you are! And happy Sunday!

When I Fall in Love…

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When I fall in love, I will do the things I don’t usually do. Sometimes, it’s so stupid and childish, but did you know? I like myself when I fall in love.

When I fall in love, I will think of him everytime I dress up and look myself in the mirror. His opinion if I look pretty is the only opinion that matters.

When I fall in love, I can be such a coward sometimes. I can ask everyone if they want to join me to a movie but him. Tell me to make the first move, my hands will be cold just in a second!

When I fall in love, the smile and laugh because of him will last longer. I just can’t help myself to smile alone just because I still have his jokes deep in my mind.

When I fall in love, I will be his number one social media fan. I may not read his posts in the same minute he posts, but there is nothing I will miss.

When I fall in love, I can be so patient and so forgiving. People may say that I’m stupid, but I would say that when you love someone, you love him with all his flaws.

And finally, when I really really fall in love, I don’t need a bunch of reasons just to fall for him. I just look at him and I tell myself, “Oh, I really love this guy!”

I don’t fall in love easily, but when I do, I mean it with all my heart.

3 People I Thank in Life

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Yesterday was really a good day to me. It made me look  back to my past and I felt really grateful for everything that I had been through. And it just hit me… Maybe, I would never get that far without many people who helped me to make it happen!

It’s not only about the people who helped me to succeed my career by the way. It’s also about the people who made me a better and happier person! It’s about the people who helped me to live the life I always wanted!

From all those people, I think I can narrow them down to 3 categories only. So here they are! Three people that I really want to say thank you just for being a part, even just a very small one, in my life path.

People who tell me the truth

Good thing or bad thing, it’s always important to me to hear the truth.

When people genuinely says good thing about me, it always makes me put more belief in myself. It makes me more confident for who I am and it really helps me to find me. Sometimes, all that rough things in life tend to make me incapable to see the good things in myself. It really feels good to have someone who reminds me that I’m not that bad. Not at all.

On the other side, when people says unpleasant truth about me, of course I will get hurt, I may get angry for a while, but then I will ask myself, “Is that true? And if it’s true, what can I do about it?” At the end of the day, critics (the TRUE ones) also help me to become a better person! And I really appreciate the people who tell me that because I know it’s not an easy thing to have courage just to tell me that ugly truth. So thank you for being real!

People who believe in me

I used to be very insecure about myself. I doubted if I could do what I wanted to do. But then I met many people in my life who changed that.

A puppy love who brought out the very best in me.

A friend who encouraged me to do the ‘unimaginable’.

A lecture who told me I would go far in my career.

A boss who convinced me that I could be a good manager even though I was only 25.

And many other bosses who pushed me to take chances (and also gave me all those chances) at work.

They can be very demanding. Very pushy. Very annoying sometimes. They could be so honest it hurt. But they did all that because they had a huge belief in me. They wanted all the best for my own life!  It’s very heartwarming that they believe in me a lot more than I do in myself!

But did you know? After I finally conquered it all, I realized all that I conquered was actually just me. The greatest barrier I had to deal with was my self-doubt, fears, and insecurities. I’m glad that I met the people who helped me to deal with it. So thank you, thank you, and thank you!

People who underestimate me

There was a reason why I could be so insecure when I was younger.

The people who told me that I was ugly and stupid.

The people who laughed at my dreams…

And the people who said they were sorry that I would never ever make it in life.

It’s not that they are my number one motivation or something like that, it’s just that they have made all my victories felt even merrier! Knowing that I’ve proved them wrong always make me feel good about myself. They may never know that they were wrong, but who cares? That self-satisfaction is all that I need! So for all those people, thanks for saying all that awful stuffs! At least, you have really given me a good story to tell, hehehehe.

A Letter to 12 Years Old Me

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I watched an episode in Asia’s Next Top Model and it inspired me to write this blog; a letter from me to little me many years ago. Don’t read it if you think you’ll hate it though, hehehehe.

Dear Riffa, 12 years old Riffa

I know you feel like an ugly duckling right now. I know that you get bored, angry, disappointed and all that negative feelings about your own life. But you don’t need to worry! It won’t last forever. It will take years until you get there, but YOU will change your own life.

You will meet your first love at 13. And just a little while after that, you will also meet someone else who changes your entire life. It’s unfortunate that right when you realize the one that really matters to you, it will be too late already. He will be gone and it will be your last met with him for so many years to come. It will be one of your biggest regrets in life, but that’s okay! That’s how you’ll learn how to cherish the ones who love you with all their hearts. He may never know it, but you will carry that passion he shared with you for the rest of your life. It will change you inside out until finally, you will make yourself proud for just being the very best of you.

Later in high school, you will start to learn how to build a true friendship. You will meet a couple of friends to share your teenage life with. You’ll find some new crushes, they will drive you crazy, and they will make your life at school become even more colorful than before! You will be a popular girl, you will have a teenage life that some people can only dream of. You will not graduate as the best student even after your very best effort and it will break your heart, but no worries! It will only encourage you to study even harder in your first degree. In your college, you will finally be known as a bright student, you will write a remarkable thesis, and you will start your career in a company that you always wanted.

Did you know the best part of your future 20’s life? You will be very good at your job. You will get bored with your first dream job but you will still make the best of it anyway. It will lead you to at least two other career opportunities that will turn your dreams to reality. It will be hard, you will stumble and fall, you will cry alone in the middle of the night the first time you realize the responsibility you hold on your shoulders, but you don’t need to be afraid! You will overcome it all. You will wipe your tears, get up and stand up even higher than before! Your career will make you a better, wiser, and happier you.

After growing up, many of your old friends will leave your life, they will no longer bother to make time for you like they always did. But it doesn’t mean you will end up all alone! Life will take you to the very best friends of your life. They will be your partners to laugh and cry. They are your ‘someone to call’ in your very bad days. And they will be brutally honest to wake you up from your own stupidity in many things in life. They are not perfect and they will really upset you sometimes, but they are the ones who will always forgive you and find their ways back to you all over again. And you too will always want to have them around for the rest of your life. There will be some times you look at them and you tell yourself, “I can’t picture my life without these amazing people!”

In your mid 20’s, you’ll come to learn how a real love feels like. You will really learn how to love this time. And to let go of the ones that you sincerely love to the moon and back. You’ll learn that when you really love somebody, all that you want is them to be happy, even if that happiness doesn’t include you as a part of their lives anymore. The heartbreaks will really knock you down, but again, it will only make you a better person! You’ll fall for the wrong ones over and over again but you will never lose your faith! Love will be very challenging to you, your loved ones will take you for granted and stop fighting for you, but did you know? You will be more than just fine! You’ll manage to stay happy even when you don’t always get the loves that you deserve. You will always believe that just like many other things in your life, you too will get there. Someday you’ll get there!

The older you are, the more you’ll realize that life is a battlefield. People can be cruel, mean, unfair, and all bad things that you can imagine. You will always be too little or too much for the one who doesn’t want you in their life. Some people will want to put you in the closet and they will make you feel like you’re unwanted. It’s heartbreaking, but you will be strong enough to walk away. You will love yourself so much that you realize you deserve better. You may cry inside but you will move on and you will be just fine! You only belong with the people who love you and want you as much as you do.

I know that it sounds like your life is not going to be easy. Life will push you almost beyond your boundaries. Your job will demand you to grow faster than your actual age, but it will also take you faster to your childhood dreams. You will finally see the world and you will eventually have all the fancy things you used to dream of. And even though your love story is always bumpy and tough, it will also be a very good story to tell! It will give you your kind of fairy tale with your own kind of happy ending. Believe me when I say, your life can be everything but ordinary.

Stay strong even in the worst possible time. Learn to smile after you cry. Learn to forgive as much as you can, and it includes forgiving yourself for your own failures and imperfections! Learn how to dance with the rains and storms as your music. And never ever be too tired for your own dreams. Do it persistently and you will be right where I am right now. Don’t be too worried because you will finally know how a happy life feels like.

 

Love;

Yourself

Every Girl Would Love to Have Her Fairy Tale

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IMG_8234It’s all started while I was copying the pictures of my last vacation to Disneyland. A Cinderella Movie just started playing at HBO and it got me thinking… Deep in their heart, all girls I know are dreaming of a fairy tale in their own life. All girls, including myself.

I know that people know me as a modern female ‘warrior’. I fight hard for my dreams and for everything that I believe is right. I don’t give up easily, I stand up even higher after I fall. And as many of you know, I’m never afraid to speak up my mind. So yes, I believe it’s true that I’m a warrior on my own.

But did you know? Once upon a time, I was just an ordinary little girl who was falling for fairy tales. Everytime I read them in my books or watched them on TV, I smiled alone and told myself that someday I would meet my prince charming too. He would come to rescue me and we would live happily ever after. A happy ending; me and him against the world.

Many years have passed me by and I have survived (even more that just survive I would say) so many tough battles in my life, even though I am all alone. With that being said, does it mean that I no longer need my prince charming to rescue me?

Rescue me? You’re kidding me! Why would I need to be rescued from this amazing life I already have? 😉 But seriously… I no longer think that I need to be rescued. All that I need right now is just a right person who is willing to fight the battles to come, together with me; just me and him against the world.

As a grown up, I’ve come to learn that life is not as easy as a fairy tale. Real life is a battlefield, a never ending one. One ending is always just another beginning. That’s why to me, as long as I can find someone who stays with me to conquer it all, then it would be all that I need. It would be nice if he comes with flowers, sweet surprises, and all sweet things to make me smile alone when I think of him. He doesn’t need to be perfect, he only needs to be the very best of him, loves me, and fights for me sincerely.

Just by that, I would already have my happy ending in my love story. And that’s my friend, my kind of fairy tale that I would love to have.

Wish you all a lovely week ahead!

My Secret of Success

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Previously, it was always confusing to me everytime someone asked me the secret behind my success. It was flattering that people thought I had succeeded with my career, but seriously, was there any secret that took me there?

I mean, I know that I work hard. Very hard. But so many others do! I also know how knowledgeable I can be, but still I am not the smartest people in this field. I know a few other people way smarter than me. I still have a lot of things to learn but somehow my career has been growing so fast. Being a VP before 30 is honestly beyond my wildest dream.

I was confused with myself until a few weeks ago. I had a long chat over lunch with a colleague that made me realize one important thing that has taken me to my career achievements. I finally found out my kind of secret of success. It’s nothing huge, it’s only a courage that I have inside.

Since my very first day at work, I’ve been having a courage to start something new and take the risk. I never let my doubts consume me. I never let my insecurities stop me. I fake it, I learn, until I finally make it.

I always have a courage to speak up my mind. I tell people what I want, my expectation, and my plan for me to get there. I’m not afraid of having unpleasant conversation whenever I know it’s necessary. I let people know how I feel and even let them know what I think of them right on their faces.

I also have the courage to do what I believe is right. I’ll fight for it until either I succeed and enjoy the victory or I fail and learn from it. Again, I’m a risk taker; I’m not afraid of making a decision, I’m not afraid of making mistakes.

I never let myself to lose courage even when it comes to the most difficult people at work. I should not be afraid of anyone, we’re all only a human anyway. I may be terribly scared inside, but again, I never let my fear prevent me from doing my job.

And then finally, I always have the courage to admit that I’m not perfect. I never run and hide everytime I make a bad mistake. I will say I am wrong, I am sorry, and I will do everything it takes to make things right.

So there I would say that the secret behind my success is simply my courage. From courage will come a confidence. Just do it even when you don’t know if you can do it! And then it will give you more chances to take, more challenges to conquer, more things to learn, until finally, more victories to celebrate! Believe me when I say, your courage will take you to the places you’ve never seen. You will never know until you try!

Have courage and wish you a wonderful week ahead!

I Love My Life, Myself, with All the Flaws that Come with It

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This morning, I woke up late. With the dress I wore all day yesterday, with the makeup stayed still on my face. I woke up for a while, changed my dress, cleansed my face, put some masker on, and went back to sleep. I skipped breakfast and lunch, and I had no idea how I could find a dinner with empty wallet and the rain dropped outside my windows.

So there I texted my best friends, looking for a company so that I no longer felt empty. One friend who tried to console me with his jokes, and another one who tried to figure out if there was anything he could do to deliver some foods to my doorstep. And just like that, I felt better.

I may lose many things in life, but I never lose my very best friends. And believe me, such a friend like them, is hard to find. Especially when it comes to me. I’m not an easy person to be with. I’m not always as kind and as wise as I write in this blog. I could totally relate when someone else told me, “I’m not surprised when people leave, I’m more surprised when they stay.”

There’s nobody happy for being left behind. And neither am I. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel like I do have something wrong in me. But think again! My imperfection doesn’t necessarily mean that it is wrong for being me!

Yes, I’m a workaholic and it may never change. That’s only because I love how it has changed my life and how it has put a lot of smiles on my parents’ faces. Yet it doesn’t mean that I have no space to have a life aside from my career life!

Yes, I can be so annoying when I’m angry. I’ve tried so hard to deal with it but I guess it will always be a part of me. It will always be my imperfection. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m a cruel evil! It’s not like I have an intention to hurt other people.

Yes, I can be so fancy sometimes. I’m a big fan of branded handbag, I don’t want to take picture with the same outfits twice, I can’t leave home without any makeup on my face. But seriously, does it all make me a bad person? Does it hurt anyone else if I do all these?

And yes, I’m a high maintenance person. I can’t stand too much heat, I hate too much walks, and I’m always craving for a comfort bed. After all hard works I’ve done, I really need to soothe myself. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m not in for any adventure in life!

Finally, all I want to say is that I love my life, myself, with all the flaws that come with it. All I need to have is solely the people who is willing to be a part of it. I believe it’s true when Marilyn Monroe once said, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Someone Who Changed My Life

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A few weeks back, a guy from my past congratulated me for my recent promotion at work. He seemed impressed with my achievement. I only said thanks, but deep in my heart, I whispered, “Maybe, I wouldn’t make it this far if it was not because of you.”

So many years ago, my life was completely a boring one. I didn’t have any passion, dream, ambition, not either a simple purpose in life. I didn’t even understand what a true happiness felt like. My life was okay, but not wonderful. My life was very plain in so many ways, until I met him.

What makes him so special? Well, a very long time ago, he was the only person who believed in my potential even a lot more than I believed in myself. He said, I could be anything I wanted if only I tried hard enough to make it happen. And somehow, he made me believe in that!

So there I started to picture my own future. I pictured myself as a successful young woman with a pretty dress working in a high rise building (sounds stupid, I know 😉 ). She has a happy life, she travels the world, and she is surrounded by the people she loves. For the first time in my life, I had something to pursue. I had many good reasons to wake up in the morning, and I had a strong belief that someday I’d get there.

And then today, after so many years have passed me by, anytime I look back to my past, I still can’t believe how that insecure, lazy, and grumpy girl can live the life I live in now. It’s not a perfect one, not either an easy one, but it’s nearly everything I’ve always dreamed of. And most of the times I think, I might not be who I am today if it was not because of that boy I met so many years ago.

Last week, I was sitting in a blue taxi taking me to Grand Indonesia, just by myself. As I just said, my life is everything I’ve always dreamed of, except when it comes to love.  Then out of the blue, I thought of him, and it just hit me… he was actually the biggest loss I’ve ever had in life.

Back to the past, I was only a teenager when the first time I met him. So many things made me decide that he was not good enough for me. I mean, he and his tons of girlfriends! Could I ever trust him? So that I thought, I was still young, I would still meet a lot of new boys at school, college, and later at work!

Then what about my real life after that? Is it true that I would meet another boy in another chance?

It’s true that I met a lot of new guys after that one guy, but recently I just realized… none of those new guys treated me the way he did. I don’t know how deep their feelings to me, but one thing I know, there was nobody ever fought for me and wanted to be with me as much as he did. I rarely doubt my own decision, yet this time, I began to wonder, “What my life would be if I did it differently?”

Does it mean that I regret my decision? Well, I’m actually still a believer that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think this guy regrets the ending of our story since now he is happily married anyway. So no, I don’t think it’s something to regret. Yet if there is one thing I’ve learned, I simply learned that I should have given him a chance. I should have given myself a chance, not only back then, but also to the chances to come! At least even if it fails, I know that I have given my very best fight. Failure may haunt me for years, but a regret for never trying may haunt me for a lifetime!

However, regardless how it was ended between us, I’m still so grateful that I met him. And somehow I believe, each and everyone of us got one, didn’t we? We all had that someone who brought out the very best in us, the one who enhanced us, the one who made us a better us. And if everything happens for a reason, I believe he happened to become my wake-up call. He was not someone who was meant to be with me, but he was still someone who changed my life.

Finally, as I believe he has no regret on me, I really hope that someday I’ll prove myself that I also have nothing to regret on him. I hope that someday, I will meet someone that makes me realize that all those heartbreaks have finally made a perfect sense. A perfect sense that brings me to someone who is meant to be with me, forever and ever 🙂

My Career Path; The 8 Years Mark

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Yesterday, HR asked me to complete a training request form for my team. That form also required me to write down my career background; start from my total working experiences until total years of managerial experiences. When I wrote down the answer, it reminded me that this month is the 8th anniversary of my career! January this year was also the 5 years mark of my career at managerial level. It brought a smile on my face knowing how many years I’ve survived this bumpy road.

Do you know what else amazed me? Just a few months before my 8 years mark, I was promoted from Senior Manager to Vice President 🙂 I knew that if I worked hard enough, I would make a great career; but being a VP before 30 was beyond my imagination! When I planned my career path 8 years ago, I never thought that I would make it this far by now.

After submitting the form, I looked back to the past 8 years, and I asked myself, “What makes this promotion feel so great?”

The new remuneration? Not really.

The new tittle on my Linkedin profile? I don’t think so. Some colleagues even told me, “I thought you were a VP already! You did a VP work all this time.”

Then what is it? What makes this promotion mean something to me?

This promotion is simply a reward to me. Not from the bosses, not either from the Company; I believe it’s only from God and from myself for all the hard works I’ve done.

It’s for all the sleepless nights.

The stress, depression, crazy pressures and all those – nearly – impossible demands.

The tears and disappointments when I tried hard and failed.

The struggles and exhaustion to hang on, rise again, and win again.

This promotion makes me feel good knowing that I didn’t work hard for nothing. Knowing that there would always be a rainbow after the rains. Knowing that all I’ve got to do is just to learn dancing in the rain!

Do you know what else I’ve learned in the past 8 years?

I’ve come to learn that everyone can change their life. From a crazy packed public bus to a comfort city car. From a super hot and dirty house to a comfort bed at night. And from never been anywhere to travel around the world!

I’ve also learned that self development, work satisfaction, and happiness are much more important than just a salary package and a fancy title on your business card. At the end of the day, they’re all the things that will put a smile on your lips a lot more often than just a monthly payslip can do.

And the most important thing, I’ve finally learned the hard way that a perfect career doesn’t exist on earth. There’s no such a thing like a perfect company, perfect boss, perfect co-workers, perfect team… And no matter how hard you work, there will always some things at work that upsets you, knocks you down, and makes you ask this to yourself, “After everything I’ve done, it’s all that I get?”

Right before I thought it’s all I’ve got along my career journey, I looked at my Path timeline and smiled. Here’s one other amazing thing I’ve had at work: no matter where I work, I always have a few people that ended up as my best friends. Many other people may resent me for doing the right things, but these people will always be there to back me up. And when it felt like me almost giving up, knowing that I already have these amazing people work with me in this Company always makes me want to hang on a little bit longer and longer. Who says you can’t be friends with your own team? They will still piss you off sometimes, but so do all other friends outside the office, don’t they?

People says, fairy tale does not exist in the real life, yet somehow to me, my career has given me my kind of fairy tale. I’ve seen how it has changed my life, not literally a magic, but it turns me from an ugly duckling to a girl living her own dream. Believe me when I say, I just cannot ask for more.

Happy 8th years anniversary to me!

Find Someone Who Loves You Just the Way You Are

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A few days ago, I had a long chat with one of my best friends about his problem with a girl he just knew. Long story short, apparently that new girl thought that my friend was too aggressive. It confused me. It’s not like he texted her many times in a day! In fact, he didn’t always text that girl everyday the entire week! I don’t think it’s too aggressive at all.

Having said that, deep in my heart, initially I wanted to suggest my friend to play cool. I personally find that he looks more attractive when he is calm and cool.

But then I realized… my friend actually deserves someone better than that girl. He deserves someone who embraces him just the way he is. If she can’t accept his effort to take care of her, then it was her loss, not his. I’ve known this guy for years by now, and I also know that the way he takes care of the people he loves is the very best quality in him. Why should he change it just because a girl came and said it was wrong for him to look after her?

So then I said to my friend, it was not his fault, it was just that girl didn’t share the same chemistry with him.

Many people somehow believe that we have to ‘market’ ourselves differently. Act like someone you’re not until you win your crush’s heart. It may have worked well for most cases, but to me, it just sounds so wrong. Find someone who loves you just the way you are, not the way you make them think you are.

Someone who genuinely loves you is someone who’s capable to see the good things in you. Knowing all your flaws doesn’t stop them from falling for you. They don’t see all the things you already have or the things that you don’t have just yet; they see you far beyond that. They have a strong belief that you’re capable to be more than you already are.

Don’t we all want to be with someone who loves us that much? If the answer is yes, then we will never find one unless we show them who we really are. Just be ouselves and let them decide if they want to take a part in our life or let us go.

Find someone who loves you just the way you are, and love them back, just the way they are.