A journey to remember

I Love My Life, Myself, with All the Flaws that Come with It

Posted on: April 2, 2016

This morning, I woke up late. With the dress I wore all day yesterday, with the makeup stayed still on my face. I woke up for a while, changed my dress, cleansed my face, put some masker on, and went back to sleep. I skipped breakfast and lunch, and I had no idea how I could find a dinner with empty wallet and the rain dropped outside my windows.

So there I texted my best friends, looking for a company so that I no longer felt empty. One friend who tried to console me with his jokes, and another one who tried to figure out if there was anything he could do to deliver some foods to my doorstep. And just like that, I felt better.

I may lose many things in life, but I never lose my very best friends. And believe me, such a friend like them, is hard to find. Especially when it comes to me. I’m not an easy person to be with. I’m not always as kind and as wise as I write in this blog. I could totally relate when someone else told me, “I’m not surprised when people leave, I’m more surprised when they stay.”

There’s nobody happy for being left behind. And neither am I. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel like I do have something wrong in me. But think again! My imperfection doesn’t necessarily mean that it is wrong for being me!

Yes, I’m a workaholic and it may never change. That’s only because I love how it has changed my life and how it has put a lot of smiles on my parents’ faces. Yet it doesn’t mean that I have no space to have a life aside from my career life!

Yes, I can be so annoying when I’m angry. I’ve tried so hard to deal with it but I guess it will always be a part of me. It will always be my imperfection. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m a cruel evil! It’s not like I have an intention to hurt other people.

Yes, I can be so fancy sometimes. I’m a big fan of branded handbag, I don’t want to take picture with the same outfits twice, I can’t leave home without any makeup on my face. But seriously, does it all make me a bad person? Does it hurt anyone else if I do all these?

And yes, I’m a high maintenance person. I can’t stand too much heat, I hate too much walks, and I’m always craving for a comfort bed. After all hard works I’ve done, I really need to soothe myself. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m not in for any adventure in life!

Finally, all I want to say is that I love my life, myself, with all the flaws that come with it. All I need to have is solely the people who is willing to be a part of it. I believe it’s true when Marilyn Monroe once said, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

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It’s very important to feel content about our own life. No matter how hard we try, the truth is, we will NEVER get EVERYTHING we want to have in life. I want to have more curves, I want to have a pair of cheekbones and a chin like a supermodel, I want to be married at 30 years old, I want to be a Math expert, I want so many things in life and some of them are just some mission impossible. It’s true that I’m a go getter, but I simply have no time nor resource to pursue everything I want in life. There are some things that I need to live with it probably for the rest of my life. But you know what? I never regret any of that. I would rather count my blessings rather than feeling sorry for my imperfections. I’ve tried to make the very best of every day in my life, and for me, that is way more than enough. I’m happy just the way I am, and I’m thankful for everything I have, everything I don’t have, and everything that I will never have.
Be a better you, for you. Dress up, wear heels, put some make-up on, for you. Live in your dream, be awesome in what you do, especially for you. Learn from your mistakes, get back up from your downfalls, for you. Be kind, be compassionate, also for you. Make yourself proud for being the very best of you, not to please anyone else but you.
Every people has their very own insecurity. They have flaws, failures, they all once did a couple of things they are not proud of. They have one soul crushing events they wish to forget. Their life is not perfect and nor is mine. I am no different with any other person I know. If there’s one thing I do differently, that one thing that many people is reluctant to do, is that I forgive my past. I accept my flaws. I make peace with my guilts and failures. It’s all simply because there’s nothing I can do to change everything that has happened back in my past. What’s gone is gone, I can only decide what I would like to do on the days to come. Rather than drowning in miseries, I moved on. I’ve seen many people turned their problems to a nightmare. They made their worst moments in life even worse than it should be. They pointed fingers, they blamed random innocent people, they pushed people away, they ran off from reality, they did nothing useful for their own life. Some of them even made their personal problems as someone else’s problems for no particular reason. They let their insecurities hurt people who has nothing to do with their downfalls. My life is no better nor easier than anyone else, but at least, I’m trying so hard to make my own life a better place. If I can do it, and so can you!

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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