I Love My Life, Myself, with All the Flaws that Come with It

This morning, I woke up late. With the dress I wore all day yesterday, with the makeup stayed still on my face. I woke up for a while, changed my dress, cleansed my face, put some masker on, and went back to sleep. I skipped breakfast and lunch, and I had no idea how I could find a dinner with empty wallet and the rain dropped outside my windows.

So there I texted my best friends, looking for a company so that I no longer felt empty. One friend who tried to console me with his jokes, and another one who tried to figure out if there was anything he could do to deliver some foods to my doorstep. And just like that, I felt better.

I may lose many things in life, but I never lose my very best friends. And believe me, such a friend like them, is hard to find. Especially when it comes to me. I’m not an easy person to be with. I’m not always as kind and as wise as I write in this blog. I could totally relate when someone else told me, “I’m not surprised when people leave, I’m more surprised when they stay.”

There’s nobody happy for being left behind. And neither am I. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel like I do have something wrong in me. But think again! My imperfection doesn’t necessarily mean that it is wrong for being me!

Yes, I’m a workaholic and it may never change. That’s only because I love how it has changed my life and how it has put a lot of smiles on my parents’ faces. Yet it doesn’t mean that I have no space to have a life aside from my career life!

Yes, I can be so annoying when I’m angry. I’ve tried so hard to deal with it but I guess it will always be a part of me. It will always be my imperfection. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m a cruel evil! It’s not like I have an intention to hurt other people.

Yes, I can be so fancy sometimes. I’m a big fan of branded handbag, I don’t want to take picture with the same outfits twice, I can’t leave home without any makeup on my face. But seriously, does it all make me a bad person? Does it hurt anyone else if I do all these?

And yes, I’m a high maintenance person. I can’t stand too much heat, I hate too much walks, and I’m always craving for a comfort bed. After all hard works I’ve done, I really need to soothe myself. Yet it doesn’t mean that I’m not in for any adventure in life!

Finally, all I want to say is that I love my life, myself, with all the flaws that come with it. All I need to have is solely the people who is willing to be a part of it. I believe it’s true when Marilyn Monroe once said, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

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