A journey to remember

I Beg You a Sorry

Posted on: January 18, 2009

 

Dalam sebuah perjalanan dinas sekitar lima atau enam bulan yang lalu, gue ditempatkan sekamar dengan temen sekantor yang baru gue kenal di tempat itu. Sebut aja namanya Dinda. Dia orangnya easygoing, enak diajak ngobrol, dan cerewet plus super heboh. It was nice having such a roommate like her.

Saking cocoknya gue ngobrol sama dia, di malam ke dua kita udah asyik ngobrolin soal cowok. Gue cerita tentang cowok yang lagi deket sama gue, dan dia juga cerita soal cowok-cowok di sekitar dia. Lalu si Dinda pun bilang begini sama gue, “Oh iya, tadi temenlo si Randy (bukan nama sebenarnya) ngajakin gue kenalan.”

Dari cara Dinda ngomong, dan dari binar-binar cerah di wajahnya, gue tau si Dinda ngerasa tertarik sama temen cowok gue itu. Ingatan gue pun melayang ke tahun-tahun di mana gue mulai mengenal Randy.

Well, gue akui DULU gue juga pernah suka sama si Randy ini. Bukan suka yang serius, cuma iseng-iseng aja. Gue suka sama dia juga enggak lama, karena beberapa bulan setelah kenal Randy, gue ketemu lagi sama someone-from-the-past. Setelah gue memutuskan untuk say good bye at least for now sama si someone-from-the-past itu, gue sempet coba untuk naksir sama Randy lagi. Cuma bedanya, kali ini rasa suka itu hanya sekedar pelarian belaka. Akhirnya  pelarian itu pun berhenti sekitar satu tahun yang lalu saat gue nemuin cowok baru buat mengisi ruang hati gue (yeah, gue emang tipe orang yang baru bisa melupakan ‘yang lama’ setelah menemukan pengganti ‘yang baru’ hehe).

Dan kalo ditanya alasan kenapa gue nggak jadian sama si Randy, jujur gue jawab karena dia bukan tipe gue dan gue juga sama sekali bukan tipenya dia. Selain itu, ada juga omogan-omongan miring yang bikin gue enggan terus menaruh harapan sama cowok yang satu ini. Makanya gue sama sekali nggak berharap apa-apa setelah tahu gue dan Randy akan bekerja di perusahaan yang sama. Dan begonya, omongan-omongan miring yang gue dengar dari beberapa orang tertentu itu gue sampaikan lagi sama si Dinda.

Gue lupa apa aja yang waktu itu gue ceritain ke Dinda, tapi intinya gue ngomong begini sama dia, “Lebih baik elo jangan sampe naksir sama Randy.”

Waktu itu Dinda cuma manggut-manggut aja. Topik pembicaraan pun beralih ke cowok-cowok lain di sekitar kita.

Kemudian tiga hari yang lalu, gue denger kabar bahwa Dinda dan Randy baru aja JADIAN. Sumpah serapah yang gue tujukan untuk diri sendiripun meluncur deras dari mulut gue. Gue nyesel banget dulu pernah ngomong gitu sama si Dinda. Mau ditaro di mana muka gue ini kalo di kantor nanti gue ketemu sama mereka berdua??? Apa pula yang ada di benaknya Randy kalo tau gue pernah ngomong begitu?

Sampai sekarang gue belum tahu apakah Dinda udah menyampaikan omongan gue itu ke Randy. Tapi cepat atau lambat, Randy pasti tahu kebenarannya. Dan rasanya nggak ada yang bisa gue lakukan selain meminta maaf sama Randy, lewat blog ini…

Ada temen gue yang bilang, “Biar aja si Dinda nerima Randy, nanti juga dia sendiri yang menyesali keputusannya.”

Meski begitu, dalam hati gue tetep ngerasa enggak tenang. Benarkah suatu hari nanti Dinda akan menyesali keputusannya? Lucunya gue malah nggak yakin akan hal itu. Karena setelah dipikir-pikir lagi, gue sama sekali nggak punya bukti bahwa omongan-omongan miring itu benar adanya. Itu kan cuma kata orang; cuma sekedar kabar burung yang beredar di kalangan terbatas…

Malah kalo gue inget ke belakang, Randy itu orangnya cukup baik sama gue. Dia pernah bersedia nganter gue pulang ke rumah ortu di Bekasi meskipun gue udah berkeras bilang bahwa jalanan rumah gue itu jelek dan sempit banget. Sekitar dua bulan yang lalu dia juga pernah nayain kabar gue via personal message di Friendster (dan tidak menutup kemungkinan saat dia kirim message itu dia udah berstatus jadian sama si Dinda). Makanya, I really beg you a sorry for what I’ve said to your girlfriend.

Yeah, lidah memang tidak bertulang. Semoga ini bisa jadi pembelajaran buat gue untuk lebih berhati-hati dalam berucap. Dan gue harap, hal itu nggak akan merusak hubungan baik antara gue, Dinda, dan Randy.

By the way, congratulation for both of you. Wish you all the best 🙂

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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