A journey to remember

You Jump, I Jump

Posted on: January 16, 2016

Masih ingat adegan di film Titanic di mana Rose bilang begini ke Jack, “You jump, I jump, Jack!” Satu adegan yang meninggalkan kesan mendalam buat gue… Kemudian hari ini, gue ngobrol-ngobrol sama salah satu teman cowok soal alasan kenapa perasaan gue sering banget berubah-ubah dengan sendirinya.

Gue bilang, “Gue suka galau sendiri karena cowok-cowok itu juga enggak jelas apa maunya. Padahal gue sih simple aja, you jump, I jump!”

Teman gue itu malah bilang begini, “Emang susah sih, itu… Cewek gue sendiri aja masih pake safety belt.”

See? It’s not only me!

Cewek pada umumnya itu cenderung ingin mencari rasa aman. Kita cenderung enggak berani menjadikan perasaan kita sendiri sebagai taruhan. Malah kan kalo kata orang tua jaman dulu, perempuan itu lebih baik dicintai daripada mencintai. Konsep jaman dulu yang agak salah juga sebenarnya, tapi intinya, perempuan dari jaman dulu sampai jaman sekarang itu cenderung sama-sama saja: mereka perlu diyakinkan, itu saja!

Makanya kalo gue ngelihat teman-teman cewek seumuran yang masih pacaran ‘sembunyi-sembunyi’…

Atau yang masih enggak mau kelihatan vulnerable di depan pacarnya sendiri…

Atau mungkin yang seperti gue; kadang suka, kadang biasa aja…

Itu semuanya lebih karena satu alasan yang sama: kita belum merasa yakin dengan hubungan itu sendiri. Dan biasanya, cowok itu sendiri juga yang udah bikin kita ngerasa ragu-ragu!

Ragu apakah dia bisa selamanya setia.

Ragu apakah dia bisa menerima kita dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangan kita.

Ragu apakah dia akan bersedia melewati semua rintangan yang ada hanya untuk tetap bersama kita.

Dan ragu apakah perasaan dia sama besarnya dengan perasaan kita untuk dia…

Ada lagi salah satu teman gue yang pernah menyampaikan sudut pandang sebaliknya: cowok juga bisa jadi ngerasa ragu-ragu karena dia lihat si ceweknya seperti masih ragu-ragu. Well in that case, someone has to make an effort, right? Enggak cowok banget menurut gue kalo ngadepin cewek yang dia suka aja dia enggak berani…

Back to Titanic, I believe all girls on earth only want to feel so safe that she’s willing to jump off a boat with him. We only want to have a belief that no matter what happens, he will keep us safe. The more risky the relationship is, the more important it is for us just to feel safe. Otherwise, we would rather watch our own feeling to him just fading away. It’s always better to let it go before it gets deeper, isn’t it?

Once again, no matter what may happen afterward, you jump, I jump.

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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