Do you know that when people says “I’m in love with you”, it actually means deeper than someone who just says, “I love you”? I couldn’t really tell the difference between those two until just recently. I suddenly realize that once you are in love with somebody, you’ll never ever find a way out of it.
After you let go of someone you’re in love with, the truth is… you never really stop loving that person. You’re only moving on because you have no choice. You don’t really forget him out of your mind, you’re just getting used to live your life without him. Someday you will move on, find someone new, but that person… he will always has that one little spot deep inside your heart.
When you only loved somebody, someday you can forget your feeling for him and ask yourself, “Why the hell did I fall for him?” At some point, you will stop mentioning his name, you even no longer get excited hearing anything about his life. However I’m afraid, the same thing would never happen with someone you were in love.
That one special guy will always be a benchmark for your next boyfriend, or perhaps, for your future husband too. There are those good qualities that you wish you will find in your Mr. Right. At the end of the day, it may be that guy from the past who determines the way you define someone as your future Mr. Right.
As the time goes by, some things in your heart may never change. No matter how happy you are with your new love life, you will still want to look pretty when you know he will be around. For some things in life, his opinions still matter to you. You’re also still interested to learn how his life is going. To put it in a context, you will be interested to see how his fiancé looks like. You will secretly judge her and compare her with yourself. You hate that you do it, but you will still do it anyway.
The most unpleasant thing that may happen is when you start remembering him at the lowest points of your life. You couldn’t help but wondering… what if you did something differently back in the past? What if you and or he tried harder? How would your life turn out if it were him that spends life together with you?
And then many years from now, once or twice in your lifetime, you will tell your children, or perhaps your grandchildren, a story about how you used to love someone when you were younger. A love story to make them learn that we can’t always have what we want to have. You will also tell them that everything happened for a reason. And the lessons you learned from loving and losing somebody is simply the reason why it all happened: to make you a better person, and to make you cherish the one who stays in love with you with all your flaws.
I know it can be terrifying if everything I tell you in this blog is true. It may be right, it may be wrong. Anyhow for me, even if it’s truly happening in my own life, I believe I shouldn’t be worried at all. Why? Because I’m a believer that human’s heart is capable to be in love with more than just one person 🙂
To be in love with someone is a gift. Not everyone is capable to love that big, deep, genuine, and pure. It’s that kind of love that will give you your own fairy tale. You and him may not end up together, but if it gives you a beautiful memory and if it makes you grow up gracefully inside, then I can tell it’s also a happy ending, isn’t it?
Forget the pain, just be grateful that you used to feel that way. Only the girls with a big heart inside has the privilege to feel it at least once in her lifetime 🙂