A few weeks back, a friend of mine once asked me, “Do you really fall in love with him or you’re just being in love with the idea of falling in love?”
To be frank, I didn’t really get her point back then. I didn’t even know if such a thing does exist in a real life. It’s not like I’m living in an imaginary world, a TV show or some random chic lit, right? I wasn’t sure I understood her statement, until one day, I saw something that lead me to understand her point of view.
So I happened to know a couple who kept saying to everyone how they were in love with each other. That kind of couple who made people envy or wonder themselves for being single. I thought all of those romances were real, until someday, I accidentally found out the true things happened behind their closed door.
I won’t share with you the details in this blog, it was simply the moment where I knew that everything was not as perfect as it seemed. It was not even close to the perfection as I thought beforehand. And then, I just couldn’t help thinking if everything I saw was fake.
The more I think about it, the more I understand why people says that sometimes, we’re just in love with the idea of falling in love. It’s not that they’re faking it, they’re just wanting to feel good about their own relationship. They want to prove themselves and everyone else that they are indeed falling for the right person. And then when I looked around, I suddenly could see that it might have happened to anyone of us.
Sometimes, we don’t really like that guy that we just met. We’re just glad to have someone to date at Saturday night.
There’s also a chance that we don’t really want to be with that particular person. Deep in our heart, we only want to have someone who wants us badly.
Or maybe, we say that we’re in love because we only want to tell the world that we’re finally taken. We simply miss the euphoria of telling everyone how we’re falling for someone new.
The other chances are that we love to have someone who looks after us. The one who calls us every night until we fall asleep. Who knows that we only need to admit that we love to be seen together with someone on our Path, Facebook, or Twitter account. We love the idea that after such a long search, we have finally found the one.
And when the reality is not as perfect as we have in mind, when the romance never turns as beautiful as we saw in a TV show, we tend to tell our families and friends the other way around just to heal a little bit of disappointment that we feel inside. Maybe we don’t lie, we ‘only’ exaggerate every little detail to make it look good and therefore, it will also make us feel a little bit better.
We keep playing the drama until finally, we can’t tell ourselves if we truly love the person, or maybe, we’re already lost in a thought that we fall for that one person.
Well if that’s the case, maybe some of you will start asking yourself, “How do I know if my love is real?”
It’s a tough question for me as I don’t really think that I have the right answer to that question. However I believe, if we’re all being honest to ourselves, we will eventually find our respective answer. Maybe, we either need to give it some times, do something to fix all the things that have gone wrong, or simply to stop lying to ourselves and go find something real.
Finally, everytime you find yourself in doubt, always do remember this basic rule to live by: life is too short to be spent with the wrong one! Let’s find ‘the one’ and live our life to the fullest!