If I Were Born Rich…

All these hypes about Crazy Rich Asian leads me to wonder… what if I were born rich? What if my parents could afford a fancy school abroad? What if I had a family business to inherit? And what if I grew up with many crazy rich Indonesians all my life?

When I was kid, I was a very lazy kid. I often got bad scores at school and I secretly hid my test results underneath the clothes in my closet. What even worse, I often went early to school just to copy my smart friends’ homeworks! No wonder if my parents were very upset with me back then. Not to mention I was also very lazy at home too. I hated doing dishes, cleaning up my room and all those domestic stuffs at home. My Mom often told me when she was angry, “You should grow up as a rich person, you know! Otherwise, you won’t be able to hire a helper to clean your room!”

It all changed little by little when I entered high school. I started to make a solid plan for my future (otherwise, as my Mom said, I would not survive my own miserable life!). And then in the college, I studied very hard and I managed to graduate with a very decent GPA. I started my career a few months before graduation and it went so well I couldn’t be more thankful for all achievements I’ve earned by far. Life has been great in the past one decade and I can tell that I’m one of the happiest persons I know.

Question now: would I be as accomplished and happy as I am right now if only I were born rich many years ago?

I honestly doubt that I could be the same person as I am right now if my parents were crazy rich. Why? It’s simply because I was born lazy!

Wanting to have a decent life, comfort bed to sleep, see the world, and wear a nice outfit was my greatest motivation in the first place. The only reason why I started to fight my laziness was to get myself the comfortable life I always wanted. That would never be the same if I already had all those privileges since I was a baby! I wonder what would be my life motivation after all.

It’s a lie if I tell you that I don’t envy what I saw in Crazy Rich Asian movie, but still, that movie doesn’t change the fact that I am grateful for not being born in a rich family. Telling people how I started my career from the scratch has always been my most favorite stories to tell! I’m not ashamed to tell people how poor I once was and how I worked day and night to turn my life to be a better place to live in. All those prides and satisfactions would never exist if only I were born rich 31 years ago.

Be thankful of who we are. We are who we are for a reason, and we are the only person who can make the most of out life path. It doesn’t matter to me how I was born, but it’s very important to me how I live my life, right now, as a grown up.

I hope… I really really hope… I can keep making myself feel proud of myself until the day I die, someday.

If You Ever Have a Self Doubt…

So many years ago, I met one guy who completely changed the way I live my life. My self acceptance, life direction, and even the way I perceive anything fundamental that surrounds me in life has completely changed. With that being said, all the hard works to transform myself was definitely just on me.

It was me who pushed myself to work harder, faster, and smarter. It was me who endured all the pains just to make all may dreams happen. And most importantly, it was me who worked so hard to fight my self doubts. I made peace with myself and I found my way to deal with my very own insecurities.

All these years I’ve been trying so hard to make many people I know to believe in themselves. Oftentimes, they fail to see how good they are somehow. I want them to see what I see but it was never easy to convince people to have some faith on themselves. Until at some point I realize… there’s nobody can change them but themselves.

That boy I met was just a beginning, and the long road I took to be where I am was merely my decision that lead me to “the ending”. I chose to be better and that was only because I chose to believe that I could be better. From all decisions I’ve ever made in life, that was the best of the best decisions of mine and not a second I regret that I decided to take that hard and long road in my life journey.

Hence if you ever have a great doubt on yourself, never ever wait and hope that somebody will come along to change you. Even if that somebody comes into your life, at the end of the day, there is nothing they can do to change you. The decision and the hard works after that decision should be made and done by yourself. Having that kind of person can even be such a burden if it ends up feeling like you fail them for believing in you.

What if you are totally unsure if you can do it? Oh well, fake it util you make it, remember? As shown in a Nike ad; “It’s only impossible until it’s done. Just do it!”

It’s NOT My Job to Be a Likable Boss at Work

A few days ago, I read an article about tips and tricks to be liked by subordinates at work and I asked myself, “Is it really important to be liked by everyone in my team?”

The way I see it, I was not hired to be their friends and to be liked or loved by each and everyone of them. It’s never been my job to be a likable boss in the office.

My job is to train them, to pass them the knowledge I’ve learned in the past 10 years.

My job is to develop the next generation of leaders at work, to build a solid and strong legacy in the Company.

My job is to support them and to stand up for them when they are wronged. They should never feel alone in their battles at work.

My job is to coach them and to let them know the mistakes they did so that they will be able to learn from those mistakes (it might make them hate me, but again, it’s not my job to make them like me).

And finally, my job is to make sure that they are well appreciated for their hard works and contributions. It’s not their job to ask for promotion, bonus, or salary adjustment that they deserve, it’s mine.

If somebody in my team hates me for doing the right thing, if they forget all the good things I’ve done for them just because I fail to entertain them, then it’s not me, it’s them. It might not come out pretty in the hard times, but sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. Even with all those pressures and angers I throw, I’m just doing my job. And that is exactly my main job as a leader: lead my team to get the job done. And that’s that.

If He‘s Really that Into You…

Many girls are often in denial everytime the boys they like seem to give them a (false) hope. In case you’re wondering if you are one of those girls, read the points below and score yourself!

  1. If he’s really that into you, you won’t feel like you’ve got to make the first move. You don’t have to figure out how to let him know how you feel about him. Forget that voice in your head telling you that “he’s just shy”. Chances are, he’s not that shy, he’s just not that into you;
  2. If he’s really that into you, you won’t have to spend that much times just to stalk his social medias. He will be more than happy to tell you where he is and what he is up to. What’s even better, if he really likes you, you’ll be that girl he shows off in his social medias!
  3. If he’s really that into you, you won’t need to do all the efforts just to be right where he is. You don’t need to spend so much times to track him down hoping that you will bump into him along the way. If he has that feeling for you, he will find you! He will definitely take you out, he will want to have you right by his side;
  4. If he’s really that into you, you won’t need to get through all the hassles just to give him “the signs”. He doesn’t need you to push him to give all those signs right back to you. He will do his own things not only to give you his signs, but also to make it clear between you and him;
  5. If he’s really that into you, you don’t have to do some random things with some random guys just to see if he gets jealous. You won’t need that kind of assurance on how he truly feels about you, and that’s only because he clearly let you know where you both are standing; and
  6. If he’s really that into you, he won’t do anything that risks him of losing you. He won’t wait until he’s ready, he won’t wait until the right time comes, because for him, the right time is NOW!

The right man wouldn’t want to make you have any doubt about him. He won’t make you have to guess and to wonder. He wants to make you his. He won’t come and go anytime he likes to; he would love to be exactly where you are. He won’t need you to convince him, and he will pursue you on his own!

Love yourself enough to only love the man who loves you right. Real love is not supposed to be that complicated to begin with. If he can’t seem to make up his mind, then believe me, he’s not the one.

In Every Tragedy in Life, We Will ALWAYS Have These Two Options

One of my colleagues told me this one interesting insight. She said, “It’s amazing how 2 people with the same condition can have 2 very different outcomes. One fails, one succeeds.”

She also gave me one good example of her two friends whose parents suddenly broke until they had to sell their houses and started from the scratch. Her first friend spent the rest of his life wondering why it happened to him, blamed the universe for being terrible to him, and pretty much did nothing to make it right. The other one decided to move on and work hard to pursue his lifelong dreams.

I can always see my colleague’s point of view in so many other events in life.

Children from a broken home have 2 options: making their past baggages as an excuse to ruin their future or using it as a strength to pursue their own happy ending.

Employees who got fired have 2 options: letting their failures become their identities or learning from their mistakes and doing better in the coming opportunities.

Lovers who got cheated also have 2 options: feeling sorry for themselves or healing the pain and trying to believe and to love again.

What about my own life?

Oh well, I’ve actually had many rejections in my life too. In romance, friendship, and even rejections at work (one thing that I’m actually very good at). Horrible bosses who tried to make me feel small just because his own failure as a leader? I’ve been there too! Being called stupid and ugly was also a part of my past. And not to mention, my childhood was definitely not an easy one. I’m far from perfect but I’m glad that everytime this life knocked me down, I always chose to get back up on my feet again. And no matter how bad other people hurt and broke my heart, I always chose to never lose my faith in humanity.

So again, in every miserable condition, you only have two options: you let it make you a loser, or you come out as the winner. The choice is yours, and only yours.

Why Do People Crave for Happy Ending?

Many people love to see a happy ending in the movie they watch, and so do I.

Why is that?

It’s because happy ending soothes our soul. To some extent, it gives us hopes. Hopes that we can still find the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopes that things will get better. Hopes that we too, are going to get our happy ending.

Have some hopes! We are never too late nor too old for a happy ending.

When You Want Something, You Go and Get It!

Long time ago, I desired something so badly it started to scare me. The stake was high and I was unsure if it was worth all the risks and efforts needed to make it happen. So there I decided to take it for granted. I thought, that desire was only temporary and I would be just fine to live without it.

I thought I would be alright, until the day I learned that I had lost my chance. And that lost hit me hard. That was the first time I understood what it meant when people said that we didn’t really know what we once had until it was gone. It was forever gone. I had my chance and I lost it.

Years after that, regret of not doing my best still haunts me. Everytime this life takes me down to the rockbottom, I’ll look back to my past and I’ll wonder if there was anything I could have done any differently. I should have tried harder to make it happen, I should never let it go in the first place!

But of course, what’s gone is gone. There’s nothing I can do to change my past. All that I can do is just watching the life that I could have had from the sidewalk. Oftentimes I tell myself, “If only I tried harder, that could have been the life that I live in.”

If only I knew how miserable a regret could feel, I would have just fought hard to go and get if for myself. Because the truth is, if you think that giving it a try is scary, then believe me, regret will eventually scare you more. It’s so true when people says it’s better to try and fail rather than never try and always wonder. I really wish that I was that wise many years ago.

If you want something, the only thing you should do is simply doing your best, your very very best, to make it happen. Maybe you’ll fail, but maybe you’ll succeed. You’ll never know, until you’ve really tried.

Break a leg and make yourself proud!