If I Were Born Rich…

All these hypes about Crazy Rich Asian leads me to wonder… what if I were born rich? What if my parents could afford a fancy school abroad? What if I had a family business to inherit? And what if I grew up with many crazy rich Indonesians all my life?

When I was kid, I was a very lazy kid. I often got bad scores at school and I secretly hid my test results underneath the clothes in my closet. What even worse, I often went early to school just to copy my smart friends’ homeworks! No wonder if my parents were very upset with me back then. Not to mention I was also very lazy at home too. I hated doing dishes, cleaning up my room and all those domestic stuffs at home. My Mom often told me when she was angry, “You should grow up as a rich person, you know! Otherwise, you won’t be able to hire a helper to clean your room!”

It all changed little by little when I entered high school. I started to make a solid plan for my future (otherwise, as my Mom said, I would not survive my own miserable life!). And then in the college, I studied very hard and I managed to graduate with a very decent GPA. I started my career a few months before graduation and it went so well I couldn’t be more thankful for all achievements I’ve earned by far. Life has been great in the past one decade and I can tell that I’m one of the happiest persons I know.

Question now: would I be as accomplished and happy as I am right now if only I were born rich many years ago?

I honestly doubt that I could be the same person as I am right now if my parents were crazy rich. Why? It’s simply because I was born lazy!

Wanting to have a decent life, comfort bed to sleep, see the world, and wear a nice outfit was my greatest motivation in the first place. The only reason why I started to fight my laziness was to get myself the comfortable life I always wanted. That would never be the same if I already had all those privileges since I was a baby! I wonder what would be my life motivation after all.

It’s a lie if I tell you that I don’t envy what I saw in Crazy Rich Asian movie, but still, that movie doesn’t change the fact that I am grateful for not being born in a rich family. Telling people how I started my career from the scratch has always been my most favorite stories to tell! I’m not ashamed to tell people how poor I once was and how I worked day and night to turn my life to be a better place to live in. All those prides and satisfactions would never exist if only I were born rich 31 years ago.

Be thankful of who we are. We are who we are for a reason, and we are the only person who can make the most of out life path. It doesn’t matter to me how I was born, but it’s very important to me how I live my life, right now, as a grown up.

I hope… I really really hope… I can keep making myself feel proud of myself until the day I die, someday.

If You Ever Have a Self Doubt…

So many years ago, I met one guy who completely changed the way I live my life. My self acceptance, life direction, and even the way I perceive anything fundamental that surrounds me in life has completely changed. With that being said, all the hard works to transform myself was definitely just on me.

It was me who pushed myself to work harder, faster, and smarter. It was me who endured all the pains just to make all may dreams happen. And most importantly, it was me who worked so hard to fight my self doubts. I made peace with myself and I found my way to deal with my very own insecurities.

All these years I’ve been trying so hard to make many people I know to believe in themselves. Oftentimes, they fail to see how good they are somehow. I want them to see what I see but it was never easy to convince people to have some faith on themselves. Until at some point I realize… there’s nobody can change them but themselves.

That boy I met was just a beginning, and the long road I took to be where I am was merely my decision that lead me to “the ending”. I chose to be better and that was only because I chose to believe that I could be better. From all decisions I’ve ever made in life, that was the best of the best decisions of mine and not a second I regret that I decided to take that hard and long road in my life journey.

Hence if you ever have a great doubt on yourself, never ever wait and hope that somebody will come along to change you. Even if that somebody comes into your life, at the end of the day, there is nothing they can do to change you. The decision and the hard works after that decision should be made and done by yourself. Having that kind of person can even be such a burden if it ends up feeling like you fail them for believing in you.

What if you are totally unsure if you can do it? Oh well, fake it util you make it, remember? As shown in a Nike ad; “It’s only impossible until it’s done. Just do it!”

It’s NOT My Job to Be a Likable Boss at Work

A few days ago, I read an article about tips and tricks to be liked by subordinates at work and I asked myself, “Is it really important to be liked by everyone in my team?”

The way I see it, I was not hired to be their friends and to be liked or loved by each and everyone of them. It’s never been my job to be a likable boss in the office.

My job is to train them, to pass them the knowledge I’ve learned in the past 10 years.

My job is to develop the next generation of leaders at work, to build a solid and strong legacy in the Company.

My job is to support them and to stand up for them when they are wronged. They should never feel alone in their battles at work.

My job is to coach them and to let them know the mistakes they did so that they will be able to learn from those mistakes (it might make them hate me, but again, it’s not my job to make them like me).

And finally, my job is to make sure that they are well appreciated for their hard works and contributions. It’s not their job to ask for promotion, bonus, or salary adjustment that they deserve, it’s mine.

If somebody in my team hates me for doing the right thing, if they forget all the good things I’ve done for them just because I fail to entertain them, then it’s not me, it’s them. It might not come out pretty in the hard times, but sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. Even with all those pressures and angers I throw, I’m just doing my job. And that is exactly my main job as a leader: lead my team to get the job done. And that’s that.

Rame-rame Bibit Unggul di Twitter

Ada kalanya, gue rajin buka Twitter. Ngecek trending topic-nya. Lalu gue pilih satu hashtag yang ingin gue baca. Setelah itu, selama puluhan menit lamanya, gue akan sibuk scroll down ke bawah merasa “tertantang” untuk menemukan thread aslinya, hehehehe.

Nah, hari ini sedang ramai hashtag #bibitunggul. Ceritanya tentang cewek bernama Fathya yang berkomentar usil di salah satu tweet animator yang rupanya punya banyak followers (baca: selebtwit). Komentar si Fathya ini emang agak tajam sih ya menurut gue. Ada unsur bercanda karena ada pakai emoticon di comment-nya itu, tapi memang isinya agak nyebelin (gue juga pasti bete kalo ada orang asing tetiba comment kayak gitu).

Si animator yang bersangkutan langsung membalas comment si cewek ini, sampai sini masih damai, sampai kemudian istri si animator ikutan komentar dan “nadanya” lebih ketus daripada suaminya itu. Dari sini ya ketebak, Fathya langsung panas dan membalas dengan kalimat yang terdengar galak (istilah jaman sekarang: langsung ngegas, hehe).

Lalu apa hubungannya thread ini dengan bibit unggul?

Jadi di tweet war itu, Fathya mengklaim bahwa dirinya adalah bibit unggul yang mendapatkan beasiswa pemerintah untuk sekolah di Jepang. Mulai dari situ, mulailah para followers animator dan istrinya beramai-ramai mem-bully Fathya yang mendadak tenar di Twitter hanya dalam waktu setengah hari saja itu… Kasus ini semakin ramai karena ada beberapa selebtwit lainnya yang ikut melibatkan diri dalam tweet war ini.

Setelah hampir dua jam membaca tweet war yang semakin panas itu, berikut ini isi random thoughts gue:

  1. Ternyata menjadi selebtwit itu asyik juga ya… bisa punya banyak fans loyal. Nggak perlu repot-repot bikin foto bagus kayak selebgram atau video keren kayak Youtuber aja sudah bisa dapat fans yang sebegitu loyalnya! Writing, even just in a micro blog, can be a power too!
  2. Ternyata ada cukup banyak selebtwit yang “too proud of themselves”. Salah satunya ada yang bilang supaya jangan macam-macam dengan selebtwit karena mereka punya ratusan ribu followers yang bisa bikin hiduplo kelar! Wow! Padahal gue bukan tipe orang yang menganggap semua selebgram itu tukang pamer (secara sebagian besar dari mereka memang sudah born rich), tapi gue malah jadi ngerasa beberapa selebtwit ini yang justru terlihat sombong hanya dari isi tulisannya saja. Gue sampe berpikir, sifat “bijaksana” yang berusaha mereka tunjukan itu kok kelihatan seperti kesombongan yang terselubung (you know… merendah untuk meninggikan diri sendiri);
  3. Di lain pihak, Fathya ini memang nyolot banget juga sih menurut gue. Ngakunya sudah minta maaf tapi isi permintaan maafnya itu juga sarkastik banget. Dia juga menulis “monmaap” dan bukan “mohon maaf” dalam kalimat sarkastiknya itu;
  4. Meski begitu, yang gue salut dari Fathya ini adalah sifat tahan bantingnya. Dikeroyok ratusan netizen tidak bikin dia langsung kunci akun Twitter-nya! Dia juga rajin membalas serangan netizen dengan tulisan yang enggak kalah nyolotnya, hehehe; dan
  5. Gimanapun gue setuju bahwa apa yang kita tulis di online media bisa jadi penghalang rezeki di masa yang akan datang. Sudah bukan rahasia di jaman sekarang ini, recruiter akan melakukan socmed check sebelum menerima seseorang bekerja di perusahaan ybs. Gue pribadi lebih memilih untuk tidak merekrut orang-orang yang gemar mengumbar kebencian di social media. Sangat disayangkan Fathya ini terus-terusan balas menyerang para netizen. Search engine akan menyimpan semua jejak digital itu dan meskipun Fathya sudah menghapus tweet-nya, dia tetap tidak bisa menghapus tweet yang ditulis orang lain lengkap dengan segala mention dan screenshot-nya.

Kesimpulannya? Kalau mau tenar, bisa coba sindir selebtwit langsung di akun mereka supaya followers mereka baca dan jadi kesal dan akhirnya jadi kenal sama kita, hehehehe. Cuma gara-gara kasus ini aja, si Fathya langsung dapat lebih dari 2,000 followers baru dalam sehari! Jadi sedih juga… gue banting tulang ngurusin IG bisnis gue (follow @thelenstory yaa!) dan baru sampe ke angka 5,000 followers setelah 10 bulan lamanya 😦

Mungkin memang benar bahwa Fathya ini sebegitu pintarnya, tapi harusnya tidak usah sampai sebegitu sombongnya juga. Sepintar apapun dan setinggi apapun prestasi yang pernah dia capai, nyolotnya Fathya di socmed betulan bisa menjadi penghalang rezeki buat dia. Fathya bilang di salah satu tweet-nya soal dia aslinya humble dan recruiter jangan langsung percaya dengan ujaran netizen begitu saja, but who knows?

Social media war pada akhirnya hanya akan merugikan diri kita sendiri. Orang lain akan perlahan lupa, tapi jejak yang ditinggalkan akan berdampak negatif pada profil diri kita sendiri, untuk selama-lamanya…

So again… be wise, okay?