A journey to remember

When Was the Last Time I Cried?

Posted on: May 11, 2017

Last night, I had a headache when I still had to work on something in the office. I decided to take a rest on the couch for a while. Right when I closed my eyes, in between of asleep and awake, I asked myself, “When was the last time I cried?”

I couldn’t find the answer. It’s been a day and I still can’t seem to remember the right answer. It must have been so long time ago and somehow, that surprises me!

I’ve just gone through what I call as the hardest months of my life and I didn’t shed the tears, not even once!

My best friend betrayed me and so did some other people I relied on. Someone whom I thought I had something with surprisingly told me that I was wrong and that he only admired me as a person. Endless long nights in the office and many other real life dramas I never thought would ever happen to me.

As I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I wondered and I asked myself, “How could I be so strong?”

I can’t really find just one good answer to that question.

Maybe, it’s because I’m happier with my life so that I refuse to let anything take the happiness away from me.

Maybe, I’ve come to learn a lot about life, about people, and about myself. I know that just because I made mistakes, it doesn’t mean I deserved all the disappointments. I don’t need to be too hard on myself.

Maybe, it’s also because all these events have helped me to find out who really matters in my life. It helped me to distinguish the best friends and the enemies. It even helped me to build a stronger bond with the people who trully care about me.

Or maybe, it’s only because I realize, and I’ve accepted, that my life will never ever be perfect. I have so many things to be thankful. I’m living a life I always wanted for myself. And I’ve worked so hard, so damn hard, to be who I am right now. I’m not perfect, my life is not perfect, but that’s okay.

So maybe, just maybe, all the reasons above have made feel like I didn’t have any reason to cry. I will cry when I lose my real friends and families, but the people who didn’t even care about how I feel? Are they worth crying for? Well, I don’t think so!

Some people I know are too scared of growing old. But me? I enjoyed being a 30’s! At the end of the day, it’s the life experience that teaches me how to survive and to stay happy all along. And it took times until I got it right! I’m glad that I’m no longer a young lady crying alone in an empty office in the middle of the night! I’m glad that not only I’m getting older, but also that I’m growing as a person.

Pick your problems. Pick your reasons to cry. And you’ll be just fine. Insyaallah.

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I’m not a funny person. I’m not good at mingle with random people. I’m fierce, I’m a straight-talker, I get annoyed easily, and I have this resting b face that makes me look angry all the times. I’m not that kind of person whom people would miss when I’m not around.
But you know what?
I’m okay with all that flaws I have in me. Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. At the same time; everyone on earth is special, and so am I.
I know my worth. I know what I’m very good at. I know what I want and I work hard to make it happen. I’m a go getter and I fight my battles. I’m not an angel, but I’m not a devil either.
I was born to be the very best of myself, and just because I don’t always have what others have, it doens’t make me less as a person inside out. I’m whole just the way I am, and I’m beyond grateful of all that. I know that my career has been a bit of trouble for my personal life. I admit that it feels like a loss to me sometimes, but you know what? I don’t feel sorry about all that, not a even just a little bit.
My career has given me a comfort bed to sleep, taken me to the places I’ve never seen, brought me to the incredible people who end up as my best friends, and most importantly, it has really made my parents proud. I can sleep tight at night knowing that at least, I can support my parents after their retirements.
The way I see it, there’s nothing bad about all that, so why should anybody in my position feel sorry and less proud about their own hard works?
Don’t let anybody make you feel less than who you are. Make yourself and your loved ones proud, and for me, the rest doesn’t matter at all.
Be great, women! Whatever you choose to do for your own life, be great at it and don’t feel sorry for anything good in your life! Happy International Women’s day and stay awesome! My life has been going great in the past one month. Incredibly busy, but I can’t be happier.
I work my new job during the weekdays and work on my own start-up all over the weekends. It’s tiring and consuming all my energies, but it never feels like a hard work somehow.
I meet many people who are super friendly, I get to work with new challenges that test me every single thing I’ve learned in my entire career, and at the same times, I still manage to pursue my lifetime dream! For the first time ever, I understand how it feels like to love what I do that I never have to work a day in my life.
God, thank YOU for all these blessings! I often said I couldn’t ask for more, yet again, You gave me more and more reasons to be thankful over and over. I’m beyond blessed! Alhamdulillah.

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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