A journey to remember

Life is Too Short to be a Hater

Posted on: October 2, 2015

Ceritanya tadi malam, gue nonton siaran ulang Desperate Housewives season 6 yang salah satunya bercerita tentang Lynette yang sangat membenci kehamilannya. Apa alasannya? Usianya sudah kepala 4 dan sudah punya 4 orang anak! Ditambah lagi, saat itu dia sedang mengandung anak kembar pula!

Dalam episode itu diceritakan Lynette sedang duduk di ruang tunggu klinik kandungan seorang diri, sedangkan persis di sebelahnya, ada pasangan suami-istri yang terlihat sangat bahagia dengan kehamilan pertama sang istri. Saat sang suami sedang pergi mengambil minum untuk istrinya, Lynette mulai mengatakan hal-hal yang tidak menyenangkan kepada si calon ibu muda tentang betapa tidak enaknya mengandung, melahirkan, dan membesarkan seorang anak.

Berbagai hal buruk dilontarkan Lynette berdasarkan pengalaman pribadinya. Soal melahirkan dan menyusui merusak bentuk tubuh, soal suami tidak akan mau repot-repot ikut mengurus anak-anak di rumah, sampai soal anak-anak itu hanya akan tumbuh jadi remaja pembangkang yang mencuri uang orang tuanya. Puncaknya, Lynette juga bilang, “You will feel lonely but you will never ever have some times alone.”

Mendengar perkataan Lynette, si calon ibu muda yang tadinya terlihat bahagia menyambut kelahiran anak pertamanya langsung jadi sedih dan menangis tersedu-sedu.

Apa yang coba gue sampaikan dalam tulisan ini? Sesuai judul tulisan; life is too short to be a hater. Dengan kata lain, gue mencoba bilang: jangan buang-buang waktu untuk menjadi hater, alias, perusak kebahagiaan dalam hidup orang lain.

Don’t be a hater for a stranger like Lynette did, but on top of that, don’t be such a hater for someone you know in your daily life.

Jangan merusak excitement orang lain dengan mengatakan bahwa “hal itu biasa-biasa saja”. Jangan mengucapkan hal tersebut meskipun kita benar berpendapat demikian, dan terlebih lagi, jangan mengucapkan hal tersebut hanya karena kita merasa iri. It’s just shallow, isn’t it?

Jangan merusak rencana-rencana orang lain dengan selalu mencari sisi buruknya. Bukannya gue tidak realistis, tapi faktanya, tidak ada satu pun hal di dunia ini yang tidak punya kekurangan! If you can’t be supportive, at least, you can be quiet.

Jangan membenci orang lain, apalagi sampai berhenti berteman atau bahkan memusuhi hanya karena iri dengan kebahagiaan dan kesuksesan mereka. It’s not their fault for having such a great life, it’s your own fault for wasting your times just to hate other people’s life rather than making a great life for yourself instead.

Kembali lagi ke judul awal; hidup terlalu singkat untuk menjadi pembenci. Orang-orang yang kita benci itu sudah terbiasa dengan hadirnya haters dalam hidup mereka. Tingkah kita untuk ‘membenci’ mereka itu sudah tidak lagi membebani hidup mereka, malah kenyataannya, hal itu justru membebani hidup kita sendiri!

Menjadi hater hanya akan mengotori hati kita sendiri. Buang-buang waktu kita sendiri. Merusak kebahagiaan kita sendiri. Dan tentunya, hanya akan membuat kita menjadi pihak yang dibenci. Sekali lagi, kita yang akan dibenci, bukan mereka! Kita hanya akan dikenal sebagai “si tukang dengki yang selalu sinis dan senang merusak kebahagiaan orang lain”.

Sebetulnya kalo menurut gue, hater is hater for a reason. Menjadi tukang benci hanya akibat dari ketidakbahagiaan dalam hati atau ketidakpuasan atas hidupnya sendiri. Itulah sebabnya gue selalu bilang; live your life into the fullest! Do what you love to do. If you want something, then you will do your best to go for it and make it real!

Antara menjadi pembenci atau menjadi orang yang berusaha meningkatkan kualitas hidup sendiri itu membutuhkan jumlah waktu dan tenaga yang sama besar. Jadi, daripada buang-buang waktu untuk mencari-cari hal buruk untuk dilontarkan, daripada buang-buang tenaga hanya ‘memikirkan’ dan ‘mengamati’ orang-orang yang kita benci, kenapa tidak mencari cara untuk membahagiakan diri sendiri? Make yourself proud is always much better than make yourself as a hater!

Finally, untuk teman-teman yang sering jadi sasaran pembenci, ingat-ingat saja lirik lagunya Taylor Swift, “Haters gonna hate hate hate.” Mereka (the haters) baca artikel ini pun belum tentu tergerak hatinya untuk memperbaiki diri, karena memang mereka sendiri yang lebih memilih untuk tetap menjadi hater. If that’s the case, no matter how kind we are, haters will hate anyway. Just make sure that we’re NOT one of those haters okay!

Have a lovely weekend!

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6 Responses to "Life is Too Short to be a Hater"

Very well said, mbaaaak!!

Sangat inspiring dan mencerahkan. tengkiu tengkiu 🙂

Thanks to you too 🙂 Thanks for letting me know, to be exact.

Selalu senang rasanya kalau tahu tulisan aku bermanfaat buat orang lain.

Have a nice weekend!

Bener bangets mbak. Belakangan ini, entah kenapa, TL saya penuh dgn haters-haters dan serba nyinyir gini. Di satu sisi, membangkitkan kepo *halah* tapi di sisi lain, ya ampyuuuun segitunya yaaaa, para hater ituuh hahahah

Mereka bikin socmed jadi nggak menyenangkan yaa. Kadang nggak disangka-sangka, malah kita sendiri yang kena sindiiirr. Entah dosa apa gue sama mereka :p

Hi, Riffa. Tulisannya bagus.

Heheheh pelajaran dari si Lynette ini (menurut gue), dia itu jiwanya sebenernya wanita karir tapi maksain diri jadi ibu rumah tangga, makanya gak happy. Padahal suaminya sendiri udah nyadar kalo kompetensi dia di bawah Lynette, dan menyerahkan pilihan ke Lynette untuk kembali bekerja lagi.

Hi Widya

Exactly! Nggak mengikuti suara hati juga bisa bikin orang jadi hater buat orang lain. Pas di episode ini sebenernya si Lynette udah mulai kerja lagi sih, tapi ya gitu lah… Lebih ke balik kerja lagi karena suaminya mau kuliah lagi kan tuh.

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
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