There was that one t-shirt I bought in Phuket for my ex-crush in almost 2 years ago. I never had the courage to give it to him but still hoped that someday I would have a chance to give this.

As the time goes by, the more I deny whether those past moments were real. Maybe I was wrong, I took him wrong, since the very first time. However… deep in my heart, I did still hope that someday God would give us another chance.

This morning, I saw that t-shirt on my ex-desk in my aunty’s house which I used to live until last year. That t-shirt was still on its plastic package. I looked at it and realized… there would be no more future for the two of us.

Then for a while I considered… What should I do with this t-shirt? I could give it to my brother but I don’t want to see this on anybody else. Or I could just throw this into the trash bin… but that would be a waste of money.

Before I went back to parents’ home, I took the t-shirt, took it out from the package, then I put it in my paper bag so that I could bring it home. Yes, I have decided to take this t-shirt as mine.

As soon as I arrived at home, I found that there was no clean t-shirt in my bedroom. I was too lazy to find something to wear outside the bedroom. Then I remembered with that Phuket t-shirt. I took this out from the paper bag and wore it for sleeping tonight. And you know what… It looks good on me, feels comfortable, and suddenly I thought, “Why should I wait so long just to wear this t-shirt?”

It might be only an unimportant story for all of you, but for me, it’s a true sign that I have given up my hope. It’s new year, and it’s time for me to search for another new hope. New year, new hopes, but I wish this time, it’s gonna be a hope which could come true. Amin 🙂