A journey to remember

Sometimes, You’ve Just Got to Live with Your Own Fear

Posted on: October 29, 2017

Usually, I’m not that kind of person who takes the work problems to sleep at night. Whatever happens in the office, stays in the office. Yes, I complain about situations at work sometimes, but that’s that. I can still sleep tight at night as if nothing happened the days before.

With that being said, running my own business is completely different to me. I feel scared, I feel okay, but then I feel scared again. I always have a new reason to feel scared about my very own big dream.

What if nobody wants to buy from my web?

What if I’m running out of money?

What if it’s not going to be as good as I want it to be?

What if I fail miserably?

What if it’s only going to be a setback in my career?

I still remember how shocked I was knowing that a friend of mine decided to quit from his own start-up. Not only I was shocked for him as his friend, but also I was shocked for myself. What if the same thing happens to me? Will I be okay with that?

My whole life, I never really experience a big failure in my career. There were ups and downs, but never a real big disaster. What if the company I own become the first big career failure in my entire life?

Career is something that I’m always proud of, and the thought that my own business might ruin that pride totally scares myself. I often sit alone and make some back-up plans on my head just to make sure that at least, I have surviving plans for my future.

I always wanted to write this post on my blog but I kept cancelling the drafts. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my fear, it’s just that I can’t seem to close this writing with something good. I wish I could tell you guys how I had conquered my fears, but that’s just not the truth. For the first time in my life, I take my work problems to the bed at night.

I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes, you just need to live with your own fear. I’ve come to think that trying hard to get rid of my fear is just a waste of times. Rather than trying to figure out how to not be afraid, I’d better try to figure out how to develop my business. Figure out how I can monetize my website so that I can earn an living with it. And of course, figure out the things I should do for my start-up so that I won’t fail miserably.

I may not have some kind of tips and tricks to get rid of my fear, but at least, I can tell you this one very important principle in life: never ever let your fear get in the way. As I read somewhere in my social media, “It’s always better an oops rather than a what if.”

It’s okay to wonder “what if I fail” but it’s definitely not okay to wonder “what if I tried”. Even if I fail (and I hope I won’t), at least I have tried and I have given my very best fight.

And did you know? As Kevin Caroll once said, “If your dream doesn’t scare you, it isn’t big enough.”

Bismillahirahmanirahim, may God would bless me along the way as He always does, and I hope, He always will. Amiin.

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It’s very important to feel content about our own life. No matter how hard we try, the truth is, we will NEVER get EVERYTHING we want to have in life. I want to have more curves, I want to have a pair of cheekbones and a chin like a supermodel, I want to be married at 30 years old, I want to be a Math expert, I want so many things in life and some of them are just some mission impossible. It’s true that I’m a go getter, but I simply have no time nor resource to pursue everything I want in life. There are some things that I need to live with it probably for the rest of my life. But you know what? I never regret any of that. I would rather count my blessings rather than feeling sorry for my imperfections. I’ve tried to make the very best of every day in my life, and for me, that is way more than enough. I’m happy just the way I am, and I’m thankful for everything I have, everything I don’t have, and everything that I will never have.
Be a better you, for you. Dress up, wear heels, put some make-up on, for you. Live in your dream, be awesome in what you do, especially for you. Learn from your mistakes, get back up from your downfalls, for you. Be kind, be compassionate, also for you. Make yourself proud for being the very best of you, not to please anyone else but you.
Every people has their very own insecurity. They have flaws, failures, they all once did a couple of things they are not proud of. They have one soul crushing events they wish to forget. Their life is not perfect and nor is mine. I am no different with any other person I know. If there’s one thing I do differently, that one thing that many people is reluctant to do, is that I forgive my past. I accept my flaws. I make peace with my guilts and failures. It’s all simply because there’s nothing I can do to change everything that has happened back in my past. What’s gone is gone, I can only decide what I would like to do on the days to come. Rather than drowning in miseries, I moved on. I’ve seen many people turned their problems to a nightmare. They made their worst moments in life even worse than it should be. They pointed fingers, they blamed random innocent people, they pushed people away, they ran off from reality, they did nothing useful for their own life. Some of them even made their personal problems as someone else’s problems for no particular reason. They let their insecurities hurt people who has nothing to do with their downfalls. My life is no better nor easier than anyone else, but at least, I’m trying so hard to make my own life a better place. If I can do it, and so can you!

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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