Real Love is Tough, Very Tough

Did you know? Real love is tough. It’s not always pretty. It even looks ugly, sometimes. It doesn’t always please you, it doesn’t always make you feel completely happy, it’s a bumpy road, it’s definitely not as easy as a fairy tale.

Someone who loves you, cares about you, will tell you the truth. An ugly truth, perhaps. It’s not because they don’t love you anymore, it’s just because they want what’s best for you and your life. And when they truly care about you, they tell that truth right in front of you. They won’t backstab you, they will always be bold enough to be honest with you.

Someone who cares about you will not make everything always easy for you. They want you to earn it. They don’t want to spoil you the whole times because they don’t want you to be irresponsible with your own life. They want you to grow up as a person inside.

Someone who sincerely loves you will never give up on you. They will do everything in their power to keep you in their life, and it includes all the fights that have made you feel uncomfortable with the relationship itself. If they just let it fall apart, it simply means they just don’t want to waste their precious times on you.

This theory is one theory that I believe is always right. Be it romantic relationship, friendship, and families. If they care about you, they will take a risk to tell you the truth, and they will take an extra miles just to help you to become a better person than you were yesterday.

Again I tell you here, if your lover never pisses you off, most likely, you haven’t dated them long enough. If your friends only tell all the right things that make you happy, you guys aren’t close enough. And if your parents have stopped lecturing you, then most likely, they have finally given up on you.

Believe me, real love is tough. Nobody is perfect and neither are you, and the people who love you the most are the people who will tell you your imperfections a lot more often than everyone else. If you keep hating them for telling you the truth, you are preventing yourself from being loved. What’s even worse, you’re preventing yourself from being a lovable person who gets better from times to times.

Find someone who is bold enough, who cares enough, to tell you the truth and to fight for that truth, for you.

My First Lesson on The Lens Story’s Customer Service Department

Last week, I posted an Instagram ad for 7 days period. It was the sixth ad I posted on Instagram and it was the first one got rejected. It was really confusing to me. That ad had been previously approved and I received many clicks for 2 or 3 days until it was suddenly disapproved. The content in that rejected ad was pretty much the same with 5 others prior ads I posted; the major difference was the targeted audience (it was the first time I aimed Instagram users outside Indonesia).

There was a note on my Instagram apps saying that my ad was not approved because the destination URL was not viewable or functioning properly.

There I wondered what they referred as “destination URL”. When I created my ads (six of them), the destinations were always my Instagram business profile. If they said the destination URL was not functioning properly, didn’t it mean they had a problem with their own web?

I decided to click “appeal” button and I told them my confusion as my ad was actually linked to Instagram profile and not to any other website. I also asked them when they stopped my ad and how much I would pay for that rejected ad.

Six hours later, I received a reply from Facebook team. Initially I thought, “Wow, given their huge size, their response is very fast!”

But did you know what their answer was? They were simply repeating the rejection reason that I already read 6 hours earlier in their rejection note! It was a total copy-paste from A to Z. At the end, they added one sentence saying that I should edit my URL and that’s that! They didn’t even answer my question on when they stopped it and the amount they would charge to my account. It was fast, but not helpful at all.

I sent another reply telling them that they didn’t answer any single question I asked. Then I rephrased my question to make myself clear, “Which destination URL that you referred to?” I also repeated my question about my ad period and fee. I even asked them to read my questions and answer them accordingly.

Did you know what happen after that? They sent me another robotic answer! None of my question was answered (again!).

I was really upset at that point. Their customer service’s replies were even more disappointing than the rejected ad itself. Maybe I did something wrong with my sixth ad, but how could I learn from my mistake if I didn’t even know what I did wrong? It’s their job to tell me which part was actually going wrong! I know they are busy with many other inquiries, but it shouldn’t be an excuse notably because this ad I posted was not free.

I finally realized what I did wrong with my sixth ad after three times of trial-error (I edited, posted, got rejected, edited again until it was finally approved) but it doesn’t change my opinion on Facebook team’s performance. Was that really what they wanted? Asking the customers to go figuring out by themselves? The way I see it, if I gave them 3 questions, then they are liable to also give me 3 real answers that I need.

After I managed to fix my ad, this Facebook team’s behavior reminded me of myself. I received hundreds of registration e-mails in a week and I had prepared dozens of templates to reply the applicants depends on their e-mail contents. I began to worry that I also did what Facebook team did: answering people’s questions using a fixed template!

I rushed to my sent items folder and I checked every single e-mail I’ve ever sent to make sure that I have answered any question addressed to me in users’ applications. I was so relieved knowing that I always completed my standardized answers with additional answers to my customers’ additional questions!

At the end of the day, this ad problem with Instagram has been my first lesson on customer service department in my own start-up: it’s not only about how fast you can reply and close the ticket, but also how helpful your replies to the customers are.

Sometimes, You’ve Just Got to Live with Your Own Fear

Usually, I’m not that kind of person who takes the work problems to sleep at night. Whatever happens in the office, stays in the office. Yes, I complain about situations at work sometimes, but that’s that. I can still sleep tight at night as if nothing happened the days before.

With that being said, running my own business is completely different to me. I feel scared, I feel okay, but then I feel scared again. I always have a new reason to feel scared about my very own big dream.

What if nobody wants to buy from my web?

What if I’m running out of money?

What if it’s not going to be as good as I want it to be?

What if I fail miserably?

What if it’s only going to be a setback in my career?

I still remember how shocked I was knowing that a friend of mine decided to quit from his own start-up. Not only I was shocked for him as his friend, but also I was shocked for myself. What if the same thing happens to me? Will I be okay with that?

My whole life, I never really experience a big failure in my career. There were ups and downs, but never a real big disaster. What if the company I own become the first big career failure in my entire life?

Career is something that I’m always proud of, and the thought that my own business might ruin that pride totally scares myself. I often sit alone and make some back-up plans on my head just to make sure that at least, I have surviving plans for my future.

I always wanted to write this post on my blog but I kept cancelling the drafts. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my fear, it’s just that I can’t seem to close this writing with something good. I wish I could tell you guys how I had conquered my fears, but that’s just not the truth. For the first time in my life, I take my work problems to the bed at night.

I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes, you just need to live with your own fear. I’ve come to think that trying hard to get rid of my fear is just a waste of times. Rather than trying to figure out how to not be afraid, I’d better try to figure out how to develop my business. Figure out how I can monetize my website so that I can earn an living with it. And of course, figure out the things I should do for my start-up so that I won’t fail miserably.

I may not have some kind of tips and tricks to get rid of my fear, but at least, I can tell you this one very important principle in life: never ever let your fear get in the way. As I read somewhere in my social media, “It’s always better an oops rather than a what if.”

It’s okay to wonder “what if I fail” but it’s definitely not okay to wonder “what if I tried”. Even if I fail (and I hope I won’t), at least I have tried and I have given my very best fight.

And did you know? As Kevin Caroll once said, “If your dream doesn’t scare you, it isn’t big enough.”

Bismillahirahmanirahim, may God would bless me along the way as He always does, and I hope, He always will. Amiin.

My New “Discoveries”

Been busy with lots of stuffs going on in my life and now I’m back to this blog! Kali ini gue mau tulis hal-hal yang baru gue coba dan gue langsung suka banget! Siapa tahu bermanfaat buat yang lainnya juga.

  1. The Face Shop cleansing puff. Awalnya gue cuma iseng-iseng beli puff yang warna putih, trus gue ketagihan beli lagi yang warna hitam. Apa bedanya? Nggak jelas juga, tapi gue cara pakenya, putih buat pagi, hitam buat malam (soalnya bekas bedak susah hilang kalau si putih dipake di malam hari setelah gue bersihin make-up). Berkat dua puff ini kulit gue jadi berasa halus dan kenyal! Gue lebih suka pake yang putih karena enak aja dipegangnya, kenyal-kenyal membal di tangan dan di muka, hehehehe;
  2. Listerine Multi Protect mouthwash (botol warna ungu). Biasanya gue pake Listerine yang rasa orange, tapi karena terakhir gue belanja bulanan sedang sold-out, gue cobain si botol ungu ini. Awalnya gue gak suka banget, terasa nggak enak di mulut. Tapi ajaibnya, sekali kumur pake seri yang ini, radang di gusi gue langsung membaik dengan sendirinya! It works like a charm to my gum!
  3. Clinique BB cushion compact. Berawal dari terdampar di Bangkok tanpa bedak, gue terpaksa beli bedak di Sephora terdekat. Awalnya mau beli bedat padat, tapi tergoda pengen coba BB cushion compact yang katanya lebih bagus dari BB cream yang botolan. Gue suka karena teksturnya lebih ringan, terlihat lebih halus, dan nggak bikin jerawatan. Asyiknya lagi, pemakaian spons bikin tangan gue tidak lagi dikotori oleh alas bedak di pagi hari! Kadang kalau kelupaan, bekas bedak di tangan bisa mengotori pakaian gue sendiri. Suka banget deh sama BB cushion gue ini! Jadi penasaran pengen coba BB cushion merk Laneige yang terkenal banget itu!
  4. Snapseed. Gue lagi ketagihan banget edit foto pake apps ini. Fitur “selection” bikin gue bisa edit di bagian-bagian tertentu yang gue inginkan saja, fitur “portrait” bisa bikin model di dalam foto kelihatan lebih menonjol, dan fitur “curves” betul-betul quickfix untuk foto yang bermasalah dengan lighting;
  5. Dum-dum Thai tea. Ini beneran Thai tea paling enak yang pernah gue coba! Gue bisa pesan tiga kali dalam seminggu. Sejak minum ini, Thai tea merk lain yang sebelumnya gue suka banget jadi terasa biasa-biasa aja. Dum-dum ini bahkan terasa lebih enak daripada Thai tea yang betulan gue beli langsung di Thailand, hehehehehe.

Punya sesuatu yang kamu lagi suka banget? Share with me in the comment box!