A journey to remember

The Woman that I’ve Become

Posted on: December 8, 2016

img_1831Jadi ceritanya, hari Sabtu minggu kemarin, setelah belasan tahun lamanya sejak sweet 17, gue kembali merayakan ulang tahun yang ke 30. Kali ini, namanya fabulous 30, hehehehe. Sekitar 1 hari setelah acara, tim fotografi memberikan beberapa bocoran foto-foto terbaik gue selama acara berlangsung. Dalam satu foto itu, terlihat gue sedang tertawa terbahak-bahak. Saat itulah gue menyadari perubahan-perubahan terakhir sejak gue berusia 17 tahun.

Gue masih ingat 13 tahun yang lalu itu, gue super cranky menghadapi pesta ulang tahun gue sendiri. Teman-teman yang niatnya ikut membantu mempersiapkan acara sampe bingung sendiri lihat kelakukan gue saat itu. Salah satu dari mereka sampai mengelus punggung gue sambil bilang, “Sabar, Fa…”

Gue bebas cranky di acara ultah gue yang ke 30 itu bukan karena segala sesuatunya berjalan sempurna. Masih termasuk jauh dari sempurna malah sebetulnya.

Tamu sudah datang tapi table number dan place cards belum siap.

Balon untuk acara games belum selesai ditiup.

Ragu-ragu dengan bulu mata anti badai yang dipasang make-up artist gue.

Empat teman yang gue harapkan kedatangannya berhalangan untuk hadir.

Sound system yang ternyata tidak cukup kencang (rasanya mic ini kekurangan terbesar dalam acara gue).

Antrian makanan yang sangat panjang.

Dan yang paling buruk, gue menggelar acara dalam keadaan masih sakit.

Tapi tetap saja, gue tetap kalem. Tetap menikmati acara. Tetap tersenyum dan tertawa saat ada hal-hal lucu yang terjadi sepanjang acara. Sesekali fokus gue terpecah saking banyaknya tamu undangan, tapi selebihnya, gue benar-benar menikmati acara gue dengan segala kekurangannya itu.

Meski acara jadi ngaret, setidaknya cukup banyak tamu yang stay sampai dua jam setelah acara selesai. Gue jadi punya lebih banyak waktu untuk ngobrol dengan teman-teman gue.

Meski sound system benar-benar mengecewakan, decoration yang dibuat oleh adek ipar gue itu justru melebihi harapan gue. I really love the final result and I’m sure everyone in my party will agree!

Bulu mata anti badai yang awalnya membuat gue tidak percaya diri ternyata malah membuat gue menuai banyak pujian dari tamu-tamu gue.

Meski tidak semua tamu bisa hadir, setidaknya, semua sahabat terbaik gue (the BFFs) menyempatkan diri untuk hadir (walaupun dua dari empat orang ini dating telat sihhh).

Antrian makanan utama memang kelewat panjang, tapi tamu-tamu gue justru sangat menyukai rasa appetizer dan desserts yang gue sajikan (thanks to White Cream Cakes for the quiche and LeNovelle for the cakes!).

Dan yang paling hebat, meski dalam keadaan sakit, gue bisa bertahan (alias tidak pingsan, hehehehe) sampai dengan acaranya selesai (setelah itu, langsung ijin sakit dua hari setengah).

Setelah acara selesai, kesenangan gue masih berlanjut saat buka kado. Ada cukup banyak hadiah yang benar-benar gue banget. Gue jadi punya banyak stok baju baru! Hari ini saja, gue pake tiga barang yang semuanya dari kado ultah gue, hehehehe. Tambah senang lagi saat tim fotografi gue mulai mengirim beberapa foto terbaik gue itu. Gue benar-benar puas dengan hasil kerja mereka!

Pada akhirnya, gue menyadari… Ini bukan cuma soal cara gue menghadapi acara yang gue gelar, tapi juga cara gue menjalani hidup secara keseluruhan.

Selama belasan tahun terakhir, gue banyak belajar bahwa hidup tidak akan pernah bisa jadi sempurna. Sekeras apapun gue berusaha, tetap akan selalu ada hal-hal yang tidak sesuai harapan gue. Dan, gue juga belajar bahwa gue tidak perlu menunggu sempurna hanya untuk bisa berbahagia.

Gue juga banyak belajar (meski dengan cara yang menyakitkan hati) bahwa tidak semua orang akan selama-lamanya tinggal dalam hidup ini. Selalu ada saja orang-orang yang gue inginkan justru lebih memilih untuk tidak lagi ambil bagian dalam hidup gue. Akan tetapi, gue juga belajar gue tidak perlu memiliki segala-galanya untuk selama-lamanya hanya untuk bisa bahagia.

Hidup bukan tentang bagaimana caranya tidak turun hujan, tapi tentang bagaimana caranya menikmati hujan itu sendiri. Dan gue bersyukur bahwa setidaknya, gue bukan lagi orang yang sama dengan diri gue tiga belas tahun yang lalu itu. Gue yang sekarang, setelah melewati begitu banyak hal, telah berhasil menemukan cara bagaimana caranya tetap berbahagia di balik segala ketidaksempurnaan.

Oh ya… ngomong-ngomong soal tiga belas tahun yang lalu… Gue juga jadi sadar betapa berbedanya penampilan gue sekarang ini. Baju yang gue pilih untuk ultah ke 30 malah jauh lebih cantik daripada baju gue saat sweet 17 dulu. Baju sweet 17 gue itu sampe suka jadi bahan ledekan salah satu teman SMA dulu! So not only I have managed to live a happy life, but also I dress and look better than I used to be, hehehehe. 

Perayaan ulang tahun gue ini hanya sebentuk rasa syukur gue atas hidup yang telah Allah anugerahkan untuk gue. Atas teman dan sahabat yang menemani perjalanan hidup gue. Dan atas diri gue yang sekarang ini, lengkap dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangannya.

No, I do not have an easy nor perfect life, but I definitely do have an awesome life. I’m not always proud of the things I did in life, but I do proud of the woman that I’ve become. Alhamdulillah 🙂

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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About Me

What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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