A Letter to 12 Years Old Me

I watched an episode in Asia’s Next Top Model and it inspired me to write this blog; a letter from me to little me many years ago. Don’t read it if you think you’ll hate it though, hehehehe.

Dear Riffa, 12 years old Riffa

I know you feel like an ugly duckling right now. I know that you get bored, angry, disappointed and all that negative feelings about your own life. But you don’t need to worry! It won’t last forever. It will take years until you get there, but YOU will change your own life.

You will meet your first love at 13. And just a little while after that, you will also meet someone else who changes your entire life. It’s unfortunate that right when you realize the one that really matters to you, it will be too late already. He will be gone and it will be your last met with him for so many years to come. It will be one of your biggest regrets in life, but that’s okay! That’s how you’ll learn how to cherish the ones who love you with all their hearts. He may never know it, but you will carry that passion he shared with you for the rest of your life. It will change you inside out until finally, you will make yourself proud for just being the very best of you.

Later in high school, you will start to learn how to build a true friendship. You will meet a couple of friends to share your teenage life with. You’ll find some new crushes, they will drive you crazy, and they will make your life at school become even more colorful than before! You will be a popular girl, you will have a teenage life that some people can only dream of. You will not graduate as the best student even after your very best effort and it will break your heart, but no worries! It will only encourage you to study even harder in your first degree. In your college, you will finally be known as a bright student, you will write a remarkable thesis, and you will start your career in a company that you always wanted.

Did you know the best part of your future 20’s life? You will be very good at your job. You will get bored with your first dream job but you will still make the best of it anyway. It will lead you to at least two other career opportunities that will turn your dreams to reality. It will be hard, you will stumble and fall, you will cry alone in the middle of the night the first time you realize the responsibility you hold on your shoulders, but you don’t need to be afraid! You will overcome it all. You will wipe your tears, get up and stand up even higher than before! Your career will make you a better, wiser, and happier you.

After growing up, many of your old friends will leave your life, they will no longer bother to make time for you like they always did. But it doesn’t mean you will end up all alone! Life will take you to the very best friends of your life. They will be your partners to laugh and cry. They are your ‘someone to call’ in your very bad days. And they will be brutally honest to wake you up from your own stupidity in many things in life. They are not perfect and they will really upset you sometimes, but they are the ones who will always forgive you and find their ways back to you all over again. And you too will always want to have them around for the rest of your life. There will be some times you look at them and you tell yourself, “I can’t picture my life without these amazing people!”

In your mid 20’s, you’ll come to learn how a real love feels like. You will really learn how to love this time. And to let go of the ones that you sincerely love to the moon and back. You’ll learn that when you really love somebody, all that you want is them to be happy, even if that happiness doesn’t include you as a part of their lives anymore. The heartbreaks will really knock you down, but again, it will only make you a better person! You’ll fall for the wrong ones over and over again but you will never lose your faith! Love will be very challenging to you, your loved ones will take you for granted and stop fighting for you, but did you know? You will be more than just fine! You’ll manage to stay happy even when you don’t always get the loves that you deserve. You will always believe that just like many other things in your life, you too will get there. Someday you’ll get there!

The older you are, the more you’ll realize that life is a battlefield. People can be cruel, mean, unfair, and all bad things that you can imagine. You will always be too little or too much for the one who doesn’t want you in their life. Some people will want to put you in the closet and they will make you feel like you’re unwanted. It’s heartbreaking, but you will be strong enough to walk away. You will love yourself so much that you realize you deserve better. You may cry inside but you will move on and you will be just fine! You only belong with the people who love you and want you as much as you do.

I know that it sounds like your life is not going to be easy. Life will push you almost beyond your boundaries. Your job will demand you to grow faster than your actual age, but it will also take you faster to your childhood dreams. You will finally see the world and you will eventually have all the fancy things you used to dream of. And even though your love story is always bumpy and tough, it will also be a very good story to tell! It will give you your kind of fairy tale with your own kind of happy ending. Believe me when I say, your life can be everything but ordinary.

Stay strong even in the worst possible time. Learn to smile after you cry. Learn to forgive as much as you can, and it includes forgiving yourself for your own failures and imperfections! Learn how to dance with the rains and storms as your music. And never ever be too tired for your own dreams. Do it persistently and you will be right where I am right now. Don’t be too worried because you will finally know how a happy life feels like.