Because Yesterday was History, but Today is a Gift

Pernah nggak sih… kamu berharap dalam hati si mantan pacar nggak akan pernah nemuin orang lain yang lebih baik daripada kita? Atau berharap si musuh bebuyutan kita kelak hidupnya susah dan nggak bahagia? Atau dalam hal pekerjaan, kita berharap si mantan kantor bakal jadi berantakan setelah kita resign dari perusahaan itu?

Gue pernah, dan menurut gue, itu satu perasaan yang sifatnya manusiawi. Hanya saja sekarang gue menyadari, segera setelah kita menemukan a better place, or a better someone, maka semua harapan-harapan buruk akan kita lupakan dengan sendirinya.

That’s how I feel about my past right now.

Melihat salah satu mantan gebetan hidupnya makin nggak bener nggak lagi bikin gue sesumbar, “Untung dulu gue nggak jadi sama dia!” Gue cuma bisa geleng-geleng kepala melihat kebandelannya itu.

Dengar kabar orang yang dulu pernah gue suka setengah mati akan getting married dalam waktu dekat tidak lagi bikin gue lantas freaking out. There’s no longer such a crazy thought like he will get left in the altar or something 😀

Gue juga enggak lagi kepingin tahu kabar dari orang yang pernah bikin gue sakit hati setengah mati. Knowing she screwed up with everything is no longer a headline for me. Toh hidup dia susah enggak bikin hidup gue jadi lebih mudah?

Dan yang terakhir, gue enggak lagi berpikiran si mantan kantor akan kembali berantakan setelah gue tinggal pergi. I’m hoping they will be just fine so that they will never ever contact me again just to fix the chaos they’ve made. Rasa bangga bahwa gue meninggalkan good legacy di sana sudah lebih dari cukup.

And you know what… feeling this way about my past has really made me feel good about myself.

Terus mengenang luka lama bisa bikin gue jadi enggak aware dengan keberadaan cowok-cowok baru yang menaruh perhatian sama gue.

Terus mikirin si musuh bebuyutan bisa bikin gue jadi lupa mikirin hal-hal baik untuk diri gue sendiri.

Dan terus terlibat dengan masalah-masalah di kantor lama bisa bikin gue jadi enggak fokus dengan karier gue di kantor baru.

Intinya adalah, terus melihat ke belakang bisa membuat kita lupa untuk tetap melihat ke depan.

Lalu bagaimana caranya gue bisa sampai pada pemikiran yang very comforting seperti ini? Well, honestly, I don’t know how to answer this. I simply think that once we have a good life, we will eventually lose interest to look back into our past. So why don’t you try to find your better life for the starter?

Coba mulai dari mencintai diri sendiri dulu. Do what you love to do, what makes you happy, which makes you proud of being you and makes you love yourself even more. Konon katanya, love yourself first, and the rest will follow.

Kemudian buat yang teman-teman yang berkarier, jangan takut untuk terus mencoba sampai kita berhasil mendapatkan tempat yang kita inginkan. There is no such a thing like a perfect place to work, but somewhere out there, there is indeed a happy place to work.

Yang terakhir soal orang-orang yang pernah menyakiti perasaan kita di waktu yang lalu… simply think this way: the best revenge for them is being as awesome as we can be 😉 Dan gimana kita bisa bikin diri kita sendiri jadi awesome kalo kita malah sibuk mikirin orang lain yang bahkan tidak kita sukai?

Masih ingat kutipan berikut ini dari Kungfu Panda the movie?

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the ‘present’.

And I prefer to cherish my gift and make the most of it rather than keep looking back into the unchanged history named past.

It’s Not Easy to Be Me, but It’s Fun!

Traveling always makes me feel so blessed with my life, always more and more than I ever did before. It feels like the most perfect time for me to count my blessings. It makes me feel grateful for everything I’ve achieved, for every loss I’ve survived; I’m simply grateful for the person whom I’ve become.

A few nights ago, I walked along Disneysea Japan, strolling to my most favorite ride in that amusement park for the second time, alone. Two of my friends have made their ways back to our hotel, and the other one decided to watch the firework in the central park. I hugged myself to fight the windy night, looked out of the beautiful lamps along the street, and I told myself… “I’m really happy with the decent life God has given to me.”

I started my career from scratch, from an intern in one of the biggest audit firms worldwide. I began my first trip abroad almost two years afterward, and four years later, there I was… in a country that I always wanted to visit. I was there and I managed to do everything I always wanted to do with my Japan trip!

As I’ve written above, I was alone in the last minutes before the Disneysea park closed, but I was still happy for being there. It made me feel so proud even more! It reminded me of my solo trip to Bangkok last year which made me proud of my courage to travel alone. I’m proud that I know how to be happy even when I had nobody right beside me. I’m so blessed with all of the good friends around, but I’m happy to know that I don’t count my happiness on anybody’s hand.

Five or six years ago, a friend of mine wrote on her Facebook page a status that really impressed me personally. She simply said, “It’s not easy to be me, but it’s fun!”

As the time goes by, as my life as an adult started to go up and down, I eventually feel the way my friend feels about her own life. I also feel, so many times, that it’s not easy to be me… but it’s fun!

It was not easy to work in managerial level when I was only 25 years old, but I’m proud that I have passed those bumpy roads, and I believe that I have been a good leader apart of my young age.

It was not easy to spend long hours at work, to survive the sleepless night, to lose so many times for my personal life, but I’m delighted, I’m even addicted, to the awesome results I’ve got in return.

It is not easy to have many haters who always try to bring me down, but I’m also flattered because they’re actually showing me how much I’ve achieved with my own life.

It is not easy to watch many best friends suddenly walked away for no reasons, but at the same time, their departures have made me feel so thankful for everyone who accepts and appreciates me for the way I am.

Then of course… it’s never been easy to keep up all kinds of relationships on earth… It’s not easy to handle my families, my best friends, even my co-workers… but I’m so touched knowing that after everything’s happened along the way, I never ever ending up as a lonely one. I’ve never been lonely, because even when I’m alone, I know that I always have some people for me to go home.

There are still some times I’m wondering why should my life being so damn hard like this. I hate when tears suddenly came down through my eyes. I hate when my heart is broken, when my life is falling apart, when I’m betrayed and disappointed… but at the end of the day, all of those pains have taught me to appreciate every little happiness in life, and also taught me how to never take people who sincerely love me for granted.

On top of my gratitude, I am most happy with all of the dreams those have come true. Every trip I’ve had is a dream coming true for me, and that’s why I mentioned earlier; traveling always makes me feel so blessed with my life. I’m blessed that even though it’s not easy to be me, I still manage to be happy for being myself.

My life will never ever be easy, but I hope, it will always be so much fun to live in 🙂