A journey to remember

Hope the Holiday Will Make Me Feel Better

Posted on: February 11, 2012

Entah kenapa, sekitar seminggu belakangan ini gue ngerasa apa yang biasa disebut orang lain sebagai galau. Bermula dari suatu sore di mana-mana tiba-tiba gue ngerasa super bad mood, bosan, dan yang paling parah, gue jadi males ngomong. Buat orang seperti gue, kalau masih suka ngomel-ngomel, itu hal biasa. Tapi kalo udah sampe males berdebat, males ngomong, itu yang udah bahaya… Apalagi kalo udah sampe jarang senyum dan jarang ketawa… bener-bener udah masuk kategori bad mood tingkat tinggi.

Dulu gue pernah bilang sama salah satu temen gue di EY. Definisi bahagia buat gue itu simpel aja: asalkan dalam satu hari gue bisa sekali aja tertawa senang, berarti hari itu adalah hari yang bahagia buat gue. Dan ya… belakangan ini, gue jarang punya alasan untuk tertawa. Belakangan ini, entah kenapa, gue jarang sekali memiliki hari yang bahagia.

Udah sebulan lebih, gue menghabiskan belasan jam dalam sehari, dari Senin hingga Minggu, hanya untuk bekerja. Setelah semua kerja keras itupun, nyatanya report gue tetap saja selesai terlambat. Pernah di suatu malam, tiba-tiba gue ngerasa capek… Gue jadi mempertanyakan apa yang sebenarnya sedang gue kejar dengan jam kerja yang menggila seperti itu? Dan apa sebetulnya yang bisa gue dapatkan terutama kalau pada akhirnya, pekerjaan gue tetap saja selesai terlambat…

Bekerja lembur sebetulnya bukan hal baru buat gue. Tapi kerja lembur yang terasa membebani, kerja lembur yang sebetulnya tidak ikhlas gue jalani, serta kerja lembur yang sering membuat gue ngerasa sendiri… semua itu benar-benar hal yang baru terjadi dalam hidup gue. Sehingga kadang, gue jadi ngerasa kangen sama suasana kerja lembur waktu masih di EY… Kerja lembur yang sesekali diselingi acara curhat atau sekedar ngobrol ngalor ngidul sampe pernah, berjam-jam gue dan teman gue lewati hanya untuk ngobrol ini-itu, sampai tanpa terasa, pagi hari sudah datang menjelang…

Sebetulnya gue juga enggak yakin… apakah semua rasa tidak nyaman ini berasal dari pekerjaan. Dan rasanya agak-agak tidak pantas kalau gue menyalahkan semua ini kepada pekerjaan. Gue punya pekerjaan yang baik, prestasi yang baik terutama untuk ukuran orang yang baru berusia 25, gue juga punya bos yang meskipun tidak sempurna, gue bisa bilang dia itu bos terbaik yang pernah gue punya… Belum lagi teman-teman yang makin lama terasa makin dekat sama gue, yang suka tiba-tiba nraktir gue mulai dari es jeruk, es kelapa muda, Come Buy, sampe makan bimbimbap di Han Gang, serta teman-teman yang sabar menghadapi kejudesan gue dan seorang teman yang kebaikan hatinya suka bikin gue terkejut…

Ada seorang sahabat yang bilang… mungkin gue hanya perlu istirahat. Mungkin gue hanya merasa lelah setelah harus menyelesaikan begitu banyak masalah sejak hari pertama gue mulai bekerja. Atau mungkin, gue hanya butuh ketetapan hati untuk meninggalkan apa yang saat ini sudah gue miliki untuk sesuatu yang lebih baik lagi…

Jadi singkatnya, gue butuh lepas sejenak dari pekerjaan gue. Butuh bersenang-senang, supaya setelah itu, gue bisa berpikir jernih… tentang apa yang terbaik buat gue, serta tentang apa yang sebenarnya saat ini gue ingini…

Kebetulan hari Senin gue dan keluarga akan pergi liburan. Nggak jauh-jauh, cuma ke Singapura 3 hari 2 malam. Tujuan utamanya sudah pasti Universal Studio. Dan seperti biasa, gue selalu menyukai amusement park. Terlepas dari amusement park, gue selalu menyukai aktivitas traveling. Gue suka berada di tempat baru, melihat suasana kota yang jauh berbeda dengan Jakarta, suka berfoto ria di tempat-tempat yang sebelumnya hanya gue lihat di lembar buku atau layar kaca… Dan semua itu, selalu membuat gue ngerasa bahagia.

So yes… I hope that the upcoming holiday, will definitely make me feel better. Happy holiday for me then 🙂

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2 Responses to "Hope the Holiday Will Make Me Feel Better"

Ckkck.. i can feel that too recently :))

Happy holi.. holi.. holiday…

Huehehehe, thanksss… Udah kelar nih, Ly, liburannya 🙂

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I used to read a quote written by my former lecture saying that even a bad decision would always be much better than no decision at all. It reminded me of the decisions I put on hold and I asked myself, “What prevents me from making all those decisions?” I could instantly listed down many personal reasons that didn’t even sound good to myself. So there I made a couple of decisions; the good ones and the bad ones, and apparently it was so true: even bad decision was still better than no decision at all. First of all, it helped me to move on. I no longer waited for this and that; I made decisions and I started to make the actions. It also gave me a peace of mind knowing that I owed nothing to anyone, not even to myself. And most importantly, all those decisions made me learn, notably the bad ones. It’s not that I intentionally made a bad one, but well, how did I know my decision was bad until I gave it a try? Ever since the day I decided to stop putting my decisions on hold, my life felt a lot lighter and I have never been more proud of myself. Other people might not be happy with my decisions, but I only do what I’ve got to do and they can’t blame me for having courage to do the things they’re not willing to do. If it holds me back and nobody wants to make the call, then let me do the honor. It’s actually that simple, and again, it sets me free.
My biggest career goal is always running my own business. I have been an entrepreneur even since I was a seven years old. I was never hesitate everytime I saw an opportunity to earn some cash to buy toys and comic books. Graduating from college and starting my first corporate job has stopped me from doing my own business. I was too busy to do something else beside my main job. I tried to run a small jewelry business but then I got bored. I came to learn that if I want to start a business, I have to do something bigger. But of course, a bigger scale own business will also require a bigger effort! The comfort of corporate job made me decide to postpone starting a new business until at some point, it was no longer comforting to me. I still remember one night I went home feeling extremely upset with my boss and I just told myself, “I can’t do this forever. I can do much better than working for a jerk.” Right at that moment, I decided to start my biggest dream: starting my own business. Not so long after that, @thelenstory was born.
There is this one little secret about @thelenstory. There was one particular guy who made me fall deeper with photography. He was so talented he could make an old dirty lamp look beautifully glow in his pictures. I still remember that day on a boat, he took pictures of me and he smiled behind his lens. That kind of smile that made me feel the prettiest girl on earth. I didn’t know why but I just loved seeing this guy holding his camera. I even still loved it when he took pictures of me with his grumpy face! At the end of the day, The Lens Story is way more than just a girl who fell in love. The ups and downs, and all lifetime savings that I’ve spent have been the greatest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my entire life. That one guy from my past was just a starting point. He was my inspiration, he made me believe that there were many hidden talents like him out there and I would be more than happy to help them start their professional career in photography. That was the very beginning story on how my start-up was born, and to me, that will always be one of my favorite stories to tell.

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What my blog is all about? It's all about my life; my very own fairy tale, that I would love to share. This is my story, my ups and downs, it's a journey to remember.

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