What If?

So I’ve been on something big, like really really big, in the past couple of months… and I’ve started to doubt myself.

Am I really going to do this?

Do I really know how to do it all?

Do I really have what it takes to make it happen?

Tried to treat myself a movie to distract me from all that crazy thoughts, but here I am… sitting on a wooden bench in Starbucks, wandering and still wondering all the things I’ve done to pursue this one big dream.

I know that I’m not a coward, I’ve never been one in my entire life, but still… doing what I’m doing at this age is beyond brave! What made me think I could survive this one too? It’s gonna change my life, but what if, it’s not gonna change my life in a good way?

I’m actually a believer that if I believe I will, then I will. But what if I’m wrong this one time? What if I’m wrong and I miserably fail? 

I really want to tell you that I go back home 100% sure that I will be just fine. But the truth is, I’m still doubting myself. Yes, I doubt myself, but make no mistake, it doesn’t mean I no longer believe in me. 

Yes, I might be wrong, BUT… what if I’m right? What if I’m right and I can make it all happen?

I don’t know, and neither does anyone else. I’ll never know, unless I try. Hence at least for now, if I believe I will, I will. Insyaallah.

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