A few days ago, my friends and I met up with one old friend just to catch up after a while not seeing each other. That one old friend who is known as the most wanted guy. Young, smart, good looking, and extremely excellent at his job, but you know, he was that kind of guy whom we thought only dated girls for fun.
That night, this old friend had to disagree about a common statement saying that all the guys on earth always love collecting trophies. By trophy we meant chasing girls and getting them as their new trophy. The excitement to flirt and the satisfaction when she said yes was just addicting. However according to this one guy, that statement was not always true.
More or less, he told us, “Not all guys. Real man doesn’t need trophy. Real man knows what he wants and he will go for it, whatever it takes. Being afraid of the commitment is just bullshit.”
His statement surprised me for a reason. I knew that he was just in love with someone, but I never thought that one new mystery girl could change his point of view until that much. I never thought of him as a committed guy, never at all, until the dinner that night.
Our long chat that night reminded me of one other guy from my past. He had everything I need from a guy, except his willingness to fight for me. I tried to console myself saying that it was just who he was. He wouldn’t bother fighting for a girl because being with someone was never a part of his long term plan anyway. Just like that, I labelled him as another Mr. Wrong to me.
More than three years later, I found my way to move on and ‘restart’ my friendship with him. It’s never as close as it used to be, but it’s still close enough to let me know that he’s a changed man. When I told him I was not really concerned about being single, he replied, “You just haven’t met the right person yet. I also didn’t picture myself being married, until I met my fiance.”
The chat continued, until at the end, I just knew… My Mr. Wrong has turned to be a Mr. Right for someone else.
I have one other friend who also has changed to be a Mr. Right for his soon-to-be wife. He was uncertain about his feeling to his fiance, he was once wondering if he should get back with his ex instead, but then he realized that he always repeated the same mistake: looking back to the past and pushing away the present. And then later, he would miss the girl that he used to push away! Learning from his past, he tried to be committed to his girlfriend, seeing her as who she is, until he finally knew, “She is the girl that I’m going to marry.”
See? A guy needs to be a Mr. Wrong once or a few times before finding himself a the right one. That’s the reason why I’m not too worried for being single at this age. I simply believe that he is out there, still learning how to be a Mr. Right for me. When he’s ready, I’m ready, we will find our way.